Today I am doing something that I try to avoid no matter what...

I am going to the mall.

Yes, my wife with all her powers of persuasion convinced me to accompany her for my 4 month old daughter's very first mall trip.

It all started this morning, Maria was being extra nice to me, getting my breakfast, calling me sweetie, you know, all those things wives do when they want something.

The final straw was when I was sitting on the couch watching some stupid Saturday morning infomercial and my wife walks over and quietly climbs on my lap and starts kissing my neck, she mumbled that Emma was asleep and we had some time. Well right away I am thinking that this may be a pretty good day after all, and maybe Maria doesn't want anything....

I was wrong.

As she was kissing me and leading me to the bedroom she quietly whispered that maybe we could go to the mall when Emma woke up and stopped and looked up at me. I knew what this meant....

Mall equals nookie, no mall equals no nookie.

So, what do you think my desicion was?

So, here I am on a Saturday pushing a stroller through a very crowded mall.

Some how Maria has managed to stop at every store that is in this stupid place, and she hasn't bought a thing. I really don't understand that, you want something you go in, buy it, and get out. But not Maria, she finds a way to torture me even more.

Maria comes to a stop and I look up at where we are and I immediately go into a panic....

We are in the mens clothing section.

That means she is looking for me, and there is only one thing I hate more than watching her shop, its actually shopping myself.

I am now in a very small dressing room, trying on a shirt Maria picked out for me, I look in the mirror and I actually realize that this shirt is purple...

I don't wear purple.

I calmly exit the dressing room to model for Maria, she looks up at me and smiles and claps her hands saying that she loves the shirt.

How can she love this shirt? Its purple.

I tell her that this shirt is purple and I don't wear purple, I will never wear purple. Her face immediately breaks out in a pout and she looks at me with big green eyes and says she thinks it looks sexy.

I am now the not so proud owner of a purple shirt.

Now I am laying in bed exhausted from the trip hell.....I mean the mall, as Maria puts Emma to bed.

I look up to see Maria come in and lay down on the bed. She still has a smile on her face and she leans in to kiss me and thank me for a nice day. Again she starts kissing my neck and I smile.

Another perk for going to the mall...

But just as I flip her over on to her back I hear the crys of my baby daughter.

Maria kisses my nose and I let her up to go get Emma, she pauses at the door, gives me a sexy smile and tells me if I stay awake we can finish this later.

I will definitely be staying awake.

So as I lay in bed waiting for my Maria, I can only think of one thing....

Do I actually have to wear that purple shirt?

The End