"But, mooooom. I don't wannaaa go home."

Amy Deluca grabbed her 9 year-old-daughter's hand and dragged her off the elementary school playground, ignoring her attempts to look back.

"Maria Rose Deluca. I cannot believe what just happened here. You could've killed that boy. You hit him on the head with a toy truck?!"

"He deserved it." Amy turned around and glared at Maria. Before she could say anything, the little hurricane folded her hands on her chest and stared at her mother defiantly. "He poked me in the eye with a plastic spoon and told me I'm dumb as a frog."

Amy shook her head and spoke as sternly as she could.

"Really? Was it before or after you stuck his head under the swing?"

Maria wasn't fazed.

"After but he didn't let me get on and I really really really wanted to go on the swings." With a pout Maria looked cuter than a button and Amy felt some of the anger dissipate.

"And why didn't he let you on the swings?"

"Because he is mean. AndIflushedhisshoesdownthetoilet." The second part was said much quieter and faster but Amy had a lot of practice deciphering her daughter's rambles.

"You WHAT?"

Maria glanced up, her face a picture of innocence.

"I flushed his shoes down the toilet but only because he threw a water balloon at me."

Amy felt her knees buckle and had to sit on the closest bench.

"A water balloon? Do I dare to ask why he did that?"

"Cuz I sat on his neck and pulled his hair and whacked him on the head with my shovel."

Anger was slowly turning into shock mixed with a little bit of fear. Amy had to force herself to ask the next question.

"Why would you do that?"

"Because he was being MEAN to me!"

"HE was being mean to YOU?"

Maria nodded so vigorously, her long curls looked like a gold cloud around her.

"Yeah. He threw sand in my face and called me pukey-Deluca. And ALL I DID was push him!"

Amy shook her head, tiredness washing over her. She wasn't sure she wanted to know any more.

"Tell me who threw the rock."

"But I had to cuz he was chasing me and hitting me with a stick."

"So you threw a ROCK?"

"Well, he only laughed when I hit him with my doll, and he wouldn't stand still when I tried to spray bug poison on him. So I threw the rock."

"Maria. That's very dangerous. You could've hurt him."

"But, MOM, he HIT me in the stomach and stomped on my foot and told me I was ugly."

"Why did he do that?"

"Well, I kinda threw a snake on him. Because he stuck out his tongue at me."

"Maria, if Michael is so mean to you, how about tomorrow you play with somebody else?"

Maria looked up at her mother with confusion.

"But, mom, the other kids are no fun. They just run and hide when I try to play with them. Dumb-dumb said they're afraid of us."

And to be completely honest, Amy could not blame them. She took her little girl's hand, and, as she walked home, she wondered what would become of the two terrors of the Elementary Playground. If they won't kill each other.

The End