Today is my daughter's first birthday.

I am currently sitting on the couch bouncing Emma on my knee and watching Maria trying to light the one candle on the cake.

Maria insisted we go all out for Emma's first birthday, she got ballons, noise makers, a ton of presents, and this huge cake in the shape of an alien's head...

I don't know if me and Emma should take that as an insult or what?

Maria turns to me after finally getting the candle lit and walks over and takes Emma over to her highchair by the cake.

We have now been waiting an hour for Emma to blow out the candle, we have relit it so many times I lost count and I wish Maria would just let me blow the darn thing out so we can eat the cake, but she says that this is Emma's day so we don't eat until Emma blows out the candle.

We may be here forever.

My daughter just sits and stares at the candle and looks up at me and smiles, almost a mocking smile, like she knows what she is doing....she definilty gets that from Maria, she is like a minnie Maria.

I look up from minnie Maria's face and see my mother-in-law walking through the door with about 5 more presents, she is rambling on about how she is sorry she is late. Maria goes to help her with the presents and I see this as my chance....

I quickly lean down by the candle and blow.

I gasp and try to act surprised and proud of my daughter. Maria turns when she hears my reaction and sees the blown out candle. She looks me dead in the eye and asks if Emma did that...

Yes, of course, I say.

After convincing Maria that we didn't need to relight the candle and have Emma do it again, it was present time.

Maria was gathering the presents on the floor, while Amy was cleaning up in the kitchen. As Maria was bending down I couldn't help but reach out and grab her butt, only to hear my mother-in-law clear her throat behind me.

Oh, what a day.

Me and Maria are now sitting on the couch watching Emma play with all her new toys. With all the toys she got she seems to be playing with only one, this little pig that plays a song every time you hit its nose and then snorts at the end, so she has been pushing it for 2 hours straight.....

And I want to take that stupid thing and shove it...

Sorry, got a little crays there.

Maria has just put Emma down to bed and is going to take a shower, I want to join her, but I have something else to do...

I walk into Emma's room, where she is sleeping in her crib, with the little pig from hell under her pudgy little arm.

I know I shouldn't do this, but she has tons of other toys....quite toys. I reach out taking the pig and slowly make my way over to the window.

Just as I open the window and hold the pig out, Maria walks in, and lets just say the expression on her face is one I have never seen....and that is a scary thing.

I am awoken by the sound of a pig snorting from my place on the couch where Maria made me sleep. My daughter is sitting on the floor smiling at me and dancing the pig around.

Yep, definitly minnie Maria.

The End