Part 7
OUT/IN
So go out and
Make strong your stance
You were the best of them
Just breathe out and in
-remy zero-
I don't think I can ever eat again. Tugging at the waistband of my red skirt, I
regret that third helping of turkey. Isabel is way too good of a cook. I glance
around the room and notice everyone else is in a post-feast haze as well.
I could really go for some herbal tea right now. I think my stomach is starting
to protest the Tabasco-flavored gravy I suddenly developed a taste for.
After taking way too much effort making it to the kitchen, I'm disappointed to
find that Isabel has stashed the tea in the cupboard just beyond my reach. As I
strain to grasp the box of chamomile tea just an inch away from my finger, I'm
suddenly offered help from a taller person.
Michael.
I close my eyes and revel in the sensation of his body pressed up against mine
as he easily plucks the box from its shelf. All too soon, he steps back. Turning
around, I find he's smirking at me.
"Need a hand?" He waves the box in his hand, taunting me.
I fold my arms across my chest and look down at him across my nose. "Not one of
yours."
Tossing the box at me, Michael laughs and runs a hand through his hair. He's
wearing it long again. I lick my lips, trying to ignore the slow burn that
begins to build when I notice how his shoulders flex beneath his gray t-shirt.
Dear lord, if there weren't over a dozen family members a room away, I'd have
Michael on the floor right now. The linoleum doesn't look too hard. I let my
heated gaze wander down to his hands. Oh those hands. My eyes slide shut just
thinking about his hands and I feel all the blood in my head rushing south.
Liz once told me that she was really horny when she was pregnant. So far, I
haven't found that to be the case. However now, and not for the first time, I
have to wonder if it's the issue of who I'm horny for…
My eyes still closed, I feel Michael move towards me; the air crackles with
electricity around me. His hand slowly moves up to hover just over my cheek
causing me to meet his intense gaze.
"Maria…"
"Michael…" I'm surprised my voice is even functioning at all. I practically
scream for him to just touch me already. It's torture feeling the heat of his
palm radiating just above my cheek without the sensation of his touch.
Our hearts are beating together now. The air is thick with our connection. As he
carefully lowers his warm hand to my cheek, I move my mouth slightly closer to
his, wanting, needing, to feel his lips against mine. I don't care if Scott
walks in. Hell, I don't care if the entire town walks in now. I need a
Michael-fix bad.
Just before our lips touch, Michael abruptly pulls away, immediately causing the
electricity that was humming in the air to fall flat. I let out a harsh breath.
"We can't, Maria…" Michael steps a few more feet back from me.
"Right. Right, I know." I suck in air, hoping it will prevent the tears that
sting my eyes from falling. I grip my skirt tightly to stop my hands from
shaking.
"I should…" Michael gestures towards the den where the guys are watching another
game. We stare at each other for a second. I self-consciously tug at my blouse,
hoping my stomach isn't protruding too much. No need to scare him off. My
actions cause Michael to let his gaze linger over my figure, an act that, as
always, sends me nearly falling to my knees. Breathe, Maria.
"You look beautiful."
My breath catches in my throat. I feel dizzy. Damn him. He shouldn't be able to
still do this to me.
"Thank you." I manage out, albeit almost inaudibly.
He steps towards me again. "Really. I mean, you're like glowing."
I stare up hopefully at him. "Really?"
"Yeah." He smiles at me, I smile back. Michael shifts his eyes downward to the
slight bulge in my shirt. "Can I?"
Whoa. There's a shocker. I mean, never would I have thought that Michael would
be interested in my baby. Well, I suppose that's a little harsh but at least I
never suspected he'd be this interested.
"Of course. You won't feel anything though. It hasn't started to kick yet." I
carefully watch Michael's hand hover over my abdomen. He nods in response,
mesmerized. This is the Michael I know and lo...Well, I mean this is typical
Michael. Becoming completely absorbed in whatever mystery that is presented to
him.
I brace my hands on the counter as he unexpectedly lifts my shirt up, affording
him an unobstructed view of my pale stomach. Quickly glancing at the door to the
kitchen to make sure we're not being watched, I gently guide Michael's hand to
where I think the baby is resting.
Tears begin to flow silently down my cheeks as I realize how beautiful our hands
look. Mine is softly pressing Michael's much larger hand against my stomach, our
flesh blending perfectly together as it always has. Suddenly, I feel a soft
pounding against where Michael's hand lay. I gasp as I realize that what I feel
is my baby. Moving, alive, inside of me.
Michael feels it too and pulls his hand back as if burned. I meet his eyes, mine
overflowing with tears of joy now, and for a moment he looks panicked and scared
but quickly his face reflects…awe?
"Michael, do you realize what just happened?" I can't help the excitement from
leaping into my words. He grins broadly, almost proud.
"Can I? Again?" He looks for all the world like a little boy begging permission
to play with his favorite toy. It only makes me laugh and more tears stream down
my cheeks. I nod earnestly. He concentrates on the placement of his hand and
takes a deep breath, obviously focusing completely on the task at hand. In
response, I feel another swift shuffle in my stomach. Our eyes meet and we
laugh.
After a moment, Michael lifts his hand from my belly to my face and tenderly
wipes the tears from my cheeks. The air takes on a serious tone now. We both
realize the reality of the situation. I let out a tired sigh and bend my head to
adjust my shirt.
That's when I see it. The white skin of my stomach has taken on an unmistakable
glow. The exact spot where Michael's hand rested before is a radiant gold.
"Michael! Look!" I demand and he complies. Does this mean that maybe…
"I…I didn't mean to…" Huh? What's he talking about? "I'll fix it. Here, let me."
He moves to eliminate the soft glow and I realize we're on completely different
wavelengths.
"No!" I jump back. "Michael! Don't you realize what this could mean?"
I know exactly when he picks up my train of thought because I can see his whole
body tense up. "No, Maria. Don't think that."
Shaking my head like a maniac, a surge of emotions takes over my brain. "Yes,
Michael. Think about it. The baby didn't kick until it felt you. You, Michael.
Not Scott. The glow, that's a sign!"
"No!" Michael steps back and angrily tears at his hair. "Don't even think that,
Maria. Just because you want it to be true, don't turn this into something. It's
just the timing. Nothing more."
I feel as if a giant weight has lifted from my shoulders and I'm flying again.
Giddiness is streaming through my veins because this has to be true. I have to
be right. All this time, it's all I've wanted and now…what more proof could
there be?
"I just assumed it was Scott's because we were never that careful, not like you
and I were." A million thoughts are zooming through my head now. Suddenly, my
life seems mine again. Like I can do whatever my heart tells me- which is that I
love Michael, not Scott. The room is spinning along with my head and the walls
are shinning almost as brightly as my stomach. Just like before.
"No, Maria. Don't say that. You have no way to know for sure so don't even
suggest it. Scott is the father, that's how it's meant to be." Michael is pacing
the floor now, not even looking at me.
"We're meant to be, Michael. I love you. God, all along I've wanted this to be
you. I can't imagine it being anyone but you." I say this as if it were some
deep revelation, not something I've known all along.
My words hit Michael hard. He quickly turns to face me his expression resigned,
his tone soft. "Not until you know for sure, Maria. I won't let you ruin things
with Scott until we know for sure." He's serious, deathly so, I can see it in
his eyes.
I nod, suddenly sober from all the emotions that have been throwing me into a
tizzy. "I'll ask Liz. She's got to have some way of knowing."
"Tell Liz?" Michael pales. "Are you sure?"
"What else can I do? Walk into a clinic and ask if there's any alien cells in my
baby's blood?"
Michael frowns. "Guess not."
"I'll ask her to try and find out tonight, okay?" I search his eyes for
reassurance that he's okay with all of this.
"Only if you're sure, Maria. I want you to think about this. What we've been
doing is wrong and if this turns out like you think, there will be some serious
consequences for both of us. It won't just be happily ever after like we want it
to. Think about Scott, what it will do to him."
He's right, but this is something I've thought about ever since I found out
about this baby. I take a deep breath, leveling my eyes with Michael's. "Trust
me, Michael. I've thought this through."
Nodding slightly, Michael simply moves to drop a light kiss on my forehead; his
sign that he agrees with me and all is forgiven. He encircles his arms around me
and I bury my head in his chest and begin to pray that this will all work out.
Tightening his grip on me, Michael nuzzles my head gently with his face and
murmurs softly into my hair. What will I do if this doesn't work out? How can I
live without Michael?
Just as I begin to relax, Isabel comes bursting into the kitchen catching us
hugging. Granted, it's just hugging and could be purely innocent but I think
Isabel knows better. We jump apart, trying, but probably failing, to not look
guilty. She looks us up and down and gives us a questioning look.
"I'm serving pie now, if you're interested that is." She fixes her stare at me
and I shake my head at her. Don't say anything, I plead of her.
"Yeah, we'll be right there." I pity Michael for the purely evil glare she sends
him. Isabel is the master, I must say. Man, if looks could kill.
Looking back at me, Isabel nods slightly in full ice-queen mode. "Scott was
looking for you." On that uplifting note, she stalks out of the room.
The guilt surrounds my heart immediately and I take a deep breath. Sensing my
turmoil, Michael grabs my hand and gives it a light squeeze.
"Hey. Whatever you want to do. Okay?" His voice is a mere rumble but I
understand.
I offer him a slight smile. "Let's go get pie."
I follow Michael out of the kitchen, all the while reminding myself to breathe,
out and in. Just maybe this will all work out.