Part 6
HOME
I'm going crazy
A little everyday
And everything I wanted
Is now driving me away
-Sheryl Crow-
I watch the desert scenery slowly grow into the small town that is Roswell, New
Mexico. My home. I haven't been home since I came back to visit my mom and tell
her about the baby. It's Thanksgiving now and I am almost five months pregnant.
As Scott slowly navigates the familiar streets of Roswell, never exceeding the
snail speed limit by more than five miles per hour, I feel a wave of nostalgia
wash over me. I remember all the times I spent here with my friends- all the
crazy times we had as teenagers involved in secrets beyond most people's wildest
dreams. And I recall always exceeding the speed limit by at least five miles per
hour. Oh for the love of God.
I can't pretend that I don't have mixed feelings about coming home today. Sure,
I'm excited to see all my friends and family but I'm really not in the mood for
them doting over me and asking a thousand questions. Then there's the matter of
Michael. I don't know if I can stand to see him. I've been doing so good lately
but no matter how hard I try, he's always there.
Things with Scott haven't been going great either, despite my best efforts. I
glance over at him. He's wearing a small grimace on his face and squinting at
the street signs ahead. He's probably lost, though he would never admit it. It's
almost reassuring to know that some tendencies are universal between species.
"Take a right at the next stoplight." I offer to Scott who immediately
straightens.
"I know." I just roll my eyes and sigh. Smoothing my hand over my stomach, I
allow myself the luxury of closing my eyes for a moment. Calm. Just be calm and
everything will go okay.
"Maria, darling, can I ask you something?" Scott's voice takes on the sugary
tone which usually signals I'm not going to like what he says. "Have you given
any more thought to what I asked you about before?"
It takes me a moment to remember what he's talking about. When I do, I feel all
the tension and anxiety I'd been trying so hard to suppress immediately surface.
"No." I reply tersely.
Scott sighs. "Please consider it. This is such a wonderful opportunity. The
position will be much more secure than the one I have now plus better hours and
pay. It'll be perfect for raising our family."
"But it’s in Boston."
"You'd love Boston."
"No. I need to be near my family." I fold my arms defiantly across my chest.
We're near Isabel and Jesse's house now.
"We are a family, Maria. You, our baby, and me. It's not like we'll never be
back to visit. And you can talk on the phone all you want." Scott's angry now.
His voice is the same even tone as usual, but his face is tense and his cheeks
flushed.
"Gee, thanks." I spit back, glaring at him as he maneuvers the car into an open
space near the good-sized home Jesse and Isabel recently occupied.
"Damnit, Maria. Just think about it. I need to let my boss know by Monday."
I remain silent and stare at the picture-perfect house, sucking violently on my
bottom lip. It's easy to imagine all the happy people inside, their only cares
being deciding between pumpkin and pecan pie. I suddenly wish Scott would turn
the car around and head back to Santa Fe. I feel tainted, like my being in the
house will cause all my problems to rub off on everyone else's happy lives.
Trying to hide the tears that sting my eyes, I turn back towards my husband.
"Let's just forget about this for now, okay? Let's just forget all our problems
and have a happy Thanksgiving."
Turning off the engine, Scott nods in understanding and offers me a faint smile.
"Let's do that."
We make our way up towards the door. I can't help but grin at the immaculate
lawn and garden. I'm sure Isabel's special abilities helped whip the grass which
was before a sickly brown into a luscious green.
Jesse answers the door with a wide smile on his face. He greets me with a kiss
on my cheek. "You look wonderful, Maria." I blush. I've always liked Jesse.
Scott and Jesse shake hands and immediately launch into lawyer-speak. I roll my
eyes and tell them I'll say hi to all the men later as I'm sure they're wrapped
up in the football game. They barely nod as they rush off to find out what all
the hollering is about. Heaven forbid they miss the replay.
Before I can even reach the living room, the grandmothers assault me. It's
rather disturbing how close all of our mothers, my mom, Mrs. Evans, Mrs. Parker,
and even Mrs. Rodriguez, have gotten ever since us girls have begun to
reproduce. They sit around and gripe about how they're too young to be
grandmothers then turn around and buy an insane amount of toys for the kids.
Unfortunately for me, they've all fixated on my pregnancy and demand every
detail of my daily life from what I've eaten to any minor cramps or aches I've
had. I cannot wait to pop this baby out and end all the questioning.
I fill the mothers in on all the details of my drive over and let them fawn over
me as long as I can stand. After the third comment that my white blouse hides my
rapidly growing abdomen too well, I make my escape to go help Isabel and Liz in
the kitchen.
"Maria!" Liz practically jumps me as she drops the potholders she was using and
rushes to meet me at the door. The girl acts like we haven't seen each other in
years even though she came to visit me last weekend. "You look radiant!"
"Yeah, well…" All the compliments are getting to be a bit much.
"Don't even try it, Maria. You know you're glowing!" Isabel looks up from a
mixing bowl to smile at me. "I would come hug you but I'm afraid I've got this
all timed down to the second."
Taking in the organized chaos of the kitchen, I realize the truth to that. There
are post-it notes and index cards everywhere as well as multiple egg timers.
There's several finished dishes lined up neatly on the counter.
"The Christmas Nazi takes on Thanksgiving." I smirk at my alien friend.
"Funny. Now move, you're blocking my path to the oven." Isabel swats me
playfully out of the way. I move to sit down at one of the barstools on the
opposite side of the counter. The rich smell of mashed potatoes wafts up into my
nose and I'm reminded that I haven't eaten all day. Conveniently, there's a few
serving spoons piled next to the dish. Lifting the lid and scooping out some
creamy goodness, I stick a generous spoonful in my mouth.
"Mmmm. These are delicious." I move to dig the spoon in again, avoiding Liz's
warning look.
"Maria!" Isabel rushes over and yanks the spoon out of my hand. "Where did you
get this?"
"It was on the table. Jeez, I just wanted a taste. I'm starving." I lean back in
my stool and savor the spicy taste in my mouth. Spicy? Uh-oh.
Isabel smirks at me. "Serves you right. You just sampled the alien batch."
I wait for my stomach to protest. It doesn't. "Those potatoes weren't so bad."
Liz arches an eyebrow at me and leans on the counter. "I thought you hated
Tabasco?"
I shrug. I never really hated the Tabasco taste, at least not when it was
accompanied by Spaceboy taste.
"I guess it's just like my insatiable craving for coconut when I was pregnant.
Normally, I can't stand it." Liz wrinkles her nose at the thought and turns back
to tossing the salad.
"Speaking of babies. Where are the little rug rats?" It was a bit odd that the
grandmothers weren't spoiling them in the living room.
"Uncle Kyle decided to start exposing the boys to the joy that is football."
Isabel laughs as she waves her hand over a slightly burnt dish of yams and makes
them look worthy of Martha Stewart.
"Does he realize they are both under one year of age and therefore do not
comprehend why their uncles and grandpas are screaming at the colorful box?" I
sneak a roll, ignoring the evil glare Isabel sends my way. "What? I'm hungry!"
I pick at my roll and watch as my two best friends update me on the holiday's
activities thus far. They both look so happy. Isabel is her usual perfect self;
her hair is blonde and short this week. She changes her hair on every whim- of
course it always looks flawless. Whereas Izzy is the fashion chameleon, Liz
looks exactly the same as she did in high school. Pregnancy and motherhood have
added a little curve onto her slim frame, but her brown hair still hangs long
and somehow she still has this innocent look about her although she, like all of
us, has lived years beyond her age.
I steal a glance in the direction of the den where I can make out a loud whoop
from Jim and an even louder one from Kyle. I wonder if Michael is in there too.
My stomach flips at the thought. Not the baby, though. The doctor tells me I
should be feeling it move anytime now, but I haven't. A little flutter every now
and then, but nothing unmistakably my baby moving inside me.
"So, speaking of the men in the family…is Michael here yet?"
Isabel and Liz exchange a look that makes me a little nervous. Do they know?
God, I can only imagine what the perfect little wives would say if they found
out my secret. It scares me how close Liz and Isabel have gotten, like suddenly
they're part of this secret mother's society or something. It's not that I'm
jealous or anything, I know I'll be included as soon as I have a baby of my own.
That, and the fact that the two had some rough times after Liz got pregnant;
they deserve to be close sisters-in-law. But, I have a feeling if they found out
I went against the bond each of them holds so sacred with their husbands, they
might hate me and think of me as an awful person.
Especially if they knew the other man was Michael. After all, our relationship
was always second to the melodrama that is Max and Liz. They are they soul
mates; we're just the high school sweethearts. At least as far as everyone else
is concerned.
"He's not here yet." Isabel answers hurriedly, focusing her attention on the
turkey.
"Is he coming?" I try to hide my disappointment. Though, in all honesty, I
shouldn't be disappointed. It's better I don't see him, really.
Liz sighs and grabs the basket of rolls from me and moves them to the table.
"Max called him earlier. He just made some lame excuse. It's really weird, if
you ask me. Usually, he likes these get-togethers if only for all the good
food."
Definitely sounds like Michael. Guilt starts to gather in my stomach and burn in
my heart; after all it is my fault he's not here. He's trying to avoid me.
"Turkey's done!" Isabel proudly announces, holding out the large platter in
front of her. "Liz, go get everyone before Maria eats it all!"
Liz laughs and scurries out of the kitchen. I chuck the last piece of my roll at
Isabel.
Everything smells wonderful as we gather around the tables to eat. Amazingly
enough, there's enough room in Isabel and Jesse's dining room to squeeze
everyone in. Jesse sits at the head of the table with Isabel to his left,
followed by Max, Liz, and Mr. Evans. Mrs. Rodriguez sits to his right with Scott
to her right, then me and Mrs. Evans. A second, slightly smaller table is pushed
up against the larger one with my mom and Jim on my side and Kyle on the other
with an empty setting next to him. Mr. and Mrs. Parker sit opposite each other
at the end, with the two high chairs containing the boys facing back towards
Jesse at the other end. It's rather impressive.
I stare at that empty setting, knowing that Michael should be sitting there. I
can tell several others are doing the same. Silently cursing myself for being
the one to alienate (no pun intended) Michael from his only family, I bow my
head for grace.
Just as Jesse begins to say the blessing, the front door bangs open. Everyone's
head snaps up. I find myself staring directly into the deep brown eyes of
Michael. I can feel his gaze penetrate my soul. My heart skips about ten beats.
Isabel hops up from the table, rushing to grab his jacket.
"Sit, sit. The food is getting cold!" She tries to sound annoyed, but I know
better. She's just as relieved as I am to see him here. Michael lets Isabel fuss
over him, all the while never letting his eyes wander from me. I think people
might start to notice, but I can't help it. All I know is that I can finally
feel myself breathe again even though he's leaving me breathless. It makes no
sense, but that's how I feel. Like I'm alive again. His eyes have always told me
all I needed to know about him and today is no exception. The deep brown depths
reflect desire and pain and longing and every other emotion I feel too.
"Maria? Maria!" I finally tear my eyes away from Michael and attempt to focus on
Scott. My husband. "You look a little flushed, are you okay?"
"Yeah, fine." My cheeks burn even brighter. Hopefully, no one else noticed my
reaction to Michael. That would be bad.
There's a flurry of activity as Michael takes his seat and everyone eagerly
greets him. I get a few worried looks from the mother hens, but they don't seem
to think Michael has anything to do with my flush. Mrs. Evans pats my hand and
suggests we eat before I starve my poor unborn child.
I chance a look at Michael. He's studying me curiously, like he's never really
seen me before- but not in a bad way. Like he's awed by me or something.
Catching my gaze, he smiles softly before spying the babies at the end of the
table, not too far from his plate.
"Hey! No one said I'd have to sit at the kiddy table!"
Isabel rolls her eyes. "If you would've gotten here earlier you could've had
your pick so stop complaining."
Jesse, man that he is, senses the impending sibling skirmish and quickly starts
grace.
I bow my head and try to think up things I'm truly thankful for. Unfortunately,
the list is pretty short right now.