Alex glanced at Kyle and then quickly asked, “What do you remember, Maria?”
Michael looked at Alex, but remained silent. Her memory. It was working. Coming back. Fuck. He waited. That prison of his was a fucking lonely place. He had forgotten how lonely. She had taken some of that away.
“The medallion. It doesn’t mean anything to me. Not yet. But I remember coming to Roswell. I checked into the hotel. It was still early in the afternoon. It took a few tries, but I finally made the call.”
“Meta-Chem Corporation, how can I direct your call?”
“Hi. Can I please talk to Jon DeLuca?” “One moment please, I’ll connect you.” “Thank you.” Maria looked around the hotel room. Nice, but cold. Why were all hotel rooms so cold all the time? Taking the bedspread and pulling it back, she lay back in the bed and listened to the clicking sounds on the phone, followed by a ringing. Pick up. God. Don’t pick up. Don’t be there. Hi. This is the daughter you deserted. How are you? Lying piece of crap. Bastard. Daddy. Dammit. Don’t cry. Teflon. Nothing sticks. Easy to clean. Use non-metal utensils. Fucking moron, DeLuca. You’re a fucking moron. “Hello? DeLuca.” Maria couldn’t breathe or talk. His voice. That was her father’s voice. Why was it the same? Shouldn’t it be older? Skanky tired old man... “Hello?” The man’s voice took on a tone of irritation which also sounded familiar. “Hello, is there anyone there?” “I’m sorry. Yes. Hi.” Maria paused unsure how to continue. “Is this Jon DeLuca?” Deserter of his family, Jon DeLuca? Scumbag DeLuca? Deadbeat Dad DeLuca? “Yes, I’m Jon DeLuca. How can I help you?” “I’m sorry. This is probably a huge mistake. I was looking for my father, but…” Maria went to hang up the phone and the man on the other man must have sensed that. “Wait! Maria? Maria is that you?” Okay, he got points for assuming it was her, and not some unknown sibling he might have sired that she had no knowledge of. He even remembered her name. How nice. The man listened to the silence, and he looked around his office licking his lips nervously. “Listen. Just don’t hang up. I…I can’t get off work right now, but please don’t hang up. I can meet you? We could…talk?” Maria cleared her throat. It was dry and tight, full of tears. Swallowing them, she cleared her throat again. “Where?” she asked softly, barely loud enough to be heard. “A restaurant. Senior Chows. I’ll give you the directions…” “I can find it.” Maria sat up twirling the telephone cord around her finger. “When?” “Two hours.” He looked at the door, and then at his watch. “I can be there in two hours. I’ll meet you in the bar.” Maria paused again, and the silence touched him. “Please. There are things to say.” “Two hours.” Maria took a cleansing breath. “Two hours, and you should know, I don’t give second chances. This is it for you.”“I’ll be there. Maria…” he stared down at the phone at the sound of a dial tone. Sitting back in his chair, he slowly hung up the phone in shock. His daughter. Taking out a picture from his wallet, he looked at her smiling young face. Angel . His little angel hugging the Dalmatian puppy he had given her for her birthday. Guilt. He spent the money to appease his guilt for what he was going to do. Leave.
He had a chance. A slim one, but it was all he had, and the only one he’d ever get. Jon looked around his office and sighed. Dammit. All these years, and he was still not a better man. Nothing about him was outstanding. Nothing to prove to his daughter that he was worth a second chance.
“So you called him, and agreed to meet him?” Alex said slowly, cautiously. He was almost afraid to push her too hard, or she might lose that tenuous grip on her memory.
“Yes. Senior Chows. He was there in two hours. Waiting for me. He looked the same as I remember, just older. More worn, and almost gray. He didn’t age as well as my mom has.” Michael reached over and took Maria’s hand. Alarmed at the coldness of her hands, he tried to warm them with his.
“Maria…”
She just shook her head. “I’m okay. I can remember. I can do this.”
“So what happened when you met him?” Kyle asked finally breaking his silence.
“We argued. I argued. He didn’t have what I needed.”
Michael frowned. “What did he not have, Maria?”
“A reason. A good reason for leaving me.”
The man looked up from his drink to assess the young woman standing at his elbow. She was gorgeous. Not like a model, but something else. Exotic. There was a touch of passion to her, a vitality. Amy. The way she moved her head reminded him of Amy, her mother. His ex-wife. She had Amy’s hands.
“Maria?” “I’m surprised you remember my name.” Maria mentally kicked herself. She had promised herself not to be bitter. Not to say things that reduced her to his level. But seeing him sitting there in a nice suit, all relaxed with a drink, all she could remember were the times he wasn’t there. All the times they struggled just to eat. He was like some pasty fat cat, eating rich food, drinking and smoking, while his only child was starving and almost raped. He didn’t know what to say, so he just stood up and gestured to the bar stool next to him. “Would you like to sit? Drink? Umm, maybe…eat?” “Food would be good.” Maria said. Now, how the hell was she going to be able to choke down an ounce of food? Sitting across from him, she’d probably toss her guts on his patent leather shoes. He nodded and started to put his hand on her back to lead her to the restaurant. She flinched from his touch, and he quickly let his hand drop. He waited for her to speak, watching her closely, but they had almost finished eating before he finally tried to talk to her. “You’re not hungry?” It was hard to miss that she pushed food around her plate, but didn’t really eat any of it. “Not really.” Maria looked at him. Broken old man. He was nothing. This was a waste. Laughing at herself, she just shook her head. “What?” Maria just kept laughing and shaking her head. “Nothing. Me. It’s just me.” “I don’t understand.” Maria laughed harder. “Of course you don’t. That would require you being around, which you weren’t. And if you were, it wouldn’t have mattered.” “I still don’t…” “Don’t you even want to know why I came looking for you? Aren’t you in the least bit curious? I mean you sure the hell didn’t look for me in what…eighteen years?” “I came back to Roswell. You and your mother had left.” Maria looked at her hands. “Sorry. Inconsiderate of us not to be sitting here waiting for your triumphant return. So out of curiosity, when was that? “Six years ago.” Maria just nodded her head. Perfect. Frickin’ perfect. “So you think your…nineteen year old daughter would need you suddenly? For what reason?” “I was tired of running away. I came back to find you, and you were gone.” “I see. And what did you have to offer me, Dad?” Maria literally spit the word ‘Dad’ out like it was something vile in her mouth. “Offer?” He didn’t know what to say. Nothing. He had come back broke and looking for a home again. He had hoped that…well, he had hoped to find them. To have a chance to make amends. “Nevermind. It doesn’t matter. Why should I think you’d have something for me? All I wanted was a reason. A reason why you left us. I’ve been sitting here for two hours, and nothing. No excuses, no apology, nothing. You’ve made a nice life for yourself, I’m sure. Well, that’s great. It’s been nice catching up with you, but I really need to go and get back to my life, and…” “Wait! Please...wait. Tell me! Just tell me what to say! What do you want to hear? Anything. Tell me why you looked for me!” Maria laughed again. Damn. Was that bitterness in her soul? Yep. It sure was. That burning bile rising again. Choking her. “Strange as it might sound, I wanted to know if you left because of me? Was it because I couldn’t love? God knows, I don’t know how to right now. I thought, maybe, just maybe it was something in me, something I was born with, and you saw it…you saw that I was emotionally retarded and you left. Just like that. I was hoping it would explain why I can make love to a man, but I can’t be in love with him.” “No. You were perfect, Maria. You were like sunshine.” Maria felt tears collecting in her eyes. “Then why? WHY? Why did you leave me? And why am I so damaged now? Perfect? Well, don’t look too closely. I’m nothing if not perfect now.” “You were perfect. It wasn’t you. It was me…” “Oh! Oh don’t do it. Don’t even do it! That is the classical scapegoat bullshit! The old ‘It’s not you’ routine. Well don’t! Because it sure as hell feels like me. It felt like me all my life! I can touch a man, live with him, love him, but when it comes to actually saying I’ll love him forever…I can’t. All these years, I’ve never told a man I loved him. Never. I just can’t, because I don’t believe in forever. I don’t believe in love.” Maria stood up and tossed a pile of money on the table to pay for her food. Grabbing her purse, she was feeling the need to run, to really run… “Maria, wait…” Desperate. He couldn’t remember the last time he felt that way. “For what? Tell me. For what? For my life back? For a sense of innocence? What? You haven't changed. Nothing has changed. You’re still the weak, sad man that walked out on his family. Years go by, and nothing changes. Not me. Not you. Have you ever, EVER, thought of other people? Or felt remorse or sorrow, or just pain for hurting other people? How dark is your soul, and why the hell am I letting it color mine?” “Maria, please. Just let me make amends. Let me prove to you that I can be good. That I can…” Maria just backed away shaking her head, ignoring the people around them watching. “No. I’m leaving tomorrow. Goodbye, Jon DeLuca.” She quickly turned and left the restaurant not bothering to look back. Oh god. His little girl. He could see her still. See her in the woman who just left. Pain. It felt like raw hurting pain. He could be better. He never was before, because he never had a reason to be. But for her, he could be. Jon looked at his watch. Tomorrow. She was walking away tomorrow. That didn’t leave him much time.“So you were leaving?” Kyle said.
“Yes. I was early for my reservation in Colorado, so I was going to see my cousin, Sean. He called and wanted me to come, and I really needed to talk to him. He’d understand. He was the biggest pain in the ass when we were growing up, but he was like my brother. He knew things. He knew about me.”
Alex watched Michael. He was listening closely, but his hands never left hers. She was shaking from cold, and he took a green afghan from the back of the sofa and covered her with it. Michael Guerin was actually taking care of someone.
“Why didn’t you leave, Maria? Why did you stay?”
Maria looked at Michael, and something in his eyes gave her the courage to go on. To finish it. “He called me. It took him awhile, but he called every motel, inn, B&B and hotel in the area to find me. It was late. Real late. He sounded crazy. He was rambling about doing it. Going back for the proof, and he was going to prove to me that he was good. That he cared about people, about me, and about changing. I didn’t know what to say, but I think he was drunk and crying. He begged me to meet him. Meet him the next day. He gave me an address. It was a motel room. A place on Highway 285, heading south out of Roswell.”
Alex and Kyle exchanged looks. He had left Roswell. He was hiding from those who would kill him. Damn. He brought her into it, and she walked into something she had no clue about.
“I went. I don’t know why. Maybe I was afraid that if I ignored him that it would make me like him. Make me selfish and conceited, hard and uncaring. I don’t know. So I went. I was booked until Wednesday, so I still had the room.”
“What happened, Maria? What happened when you saw him?” Alex asked gently.
“He was drunk. He was talking crazy.”
“Maria! You’re here! You came, and you didn’t leave.” Maria stepped back from him as she entered the motel room. Great. Nookie motel. Extraordinary.
“Yeah. I came.” Maria looked at her father. “What is it? You asked me to meet you, so here I am. Like a good daughter.” “Thank you.” He went to reach for her, but she quickly sidestepped him. He was a stranger to her. “What is it? Can't you just tell me? I don’t want to stay here any longer than I need to, and…” “I did it! I took the information.” Maria stopped talking. “What information?” “From my employer. I stole the documents. The proof.” “You stole from your employer? What? Now you’re a thief? And I want to know this, why?” “I did it for you.” Maria looked at him in disbelief. For her? He stole for her? Great! That just topped off a really fucked up life. Not only did she scare her father away all those years ago, but in less than twenty-four hours she turned him into a thief. What was she…frickin’ Pandora? “You think I want this information from your employer? That I’m, what? An industrial spy, and I want to inside trade, or sell secrets, or steal research? Hellooo? News for you, I sucked at school. Research. Or whatever your place of employment does…I don’t get. I’m an artist. A painter and sometime sculptor when the inspiration hits me. So these papers? I’d cut them up for papier-mâché. You know, glue, water, flour…disgusting mess on the walls....” Maria looked at her father and sighed. No, probably he didn’t know. How could he? He ran away when she was only seven. “No. The papers…the information is for someone else. Proof. They need it. It’ll help people. Lots of people. And I did it for you. I risked my life to prove myself to you.” “I didn’t ask you to do that. I never asked you to betray or steal from your employer, or put yourself at risk.” “I did it for you, because…” Jon wavered on his feet. “Because I love you.” Maria couldn’t believe him. Staring at him, she tried a different tactic. “Okay. Calm down, and tell me everything. And I mean, everything.” “I can’t” “What? I don’t get it. You do this for me. But you can’t tell me? What games are you playing?” “Too dangerous. It’s too dangerous. You…if you know, they’ll kill you, just like they’d kill me. I can’t risk you knowing. Tomorrow. Tomorrow I’m going to meet someone. A man. I called him. He’s going to take the information.” “A man. You trust this man?” Jon nodded. “FBI. Special Agent Burns. I called this doctor first, but I decided it had to be someone more official.” “FBI? You called the FBI?” Maria looked at him in wonder. Could a person do that? She felt hysterical laughter rising in her throat. Hello, FBI? I stole some papers from my employer, could you come pick them up? “I don’t know. How do you know you can trust this guy? I mean, what if he's not who he says he is? You could get in trouble, or dead.” “I took precautions. I hid them. I hid the information. The doctor I called, he and his source said they would meet me, but I think I'm better off to trust the FBI guy. He’s from Albuquerque, and he said he was investigating. When I called them, they connected me to him, as the person covering this area.” “Okay. Fine. So you feel comfortable with this Burns guy. So why am I here if it’s too risky for me?” “I had to tell you. I wanted you to know.” “Okay, so now I know.” Maria didn’t know what to do. Stay with him until he met this secret agent guy, or what. Unclear. It was unclear what he wanted. “I need you to take this. To remember what it means and what…I just want you to have this.” Jon held out a medallion on a chain. “I don’t need anything, thank you” Maria backed away. Presents. From her dad. They felt like capitulation. Giving in and forgiveness. She wasn’t ready for that. Not yet. Maybe later. Maybe in time. But not now. “Take it. Please. I want you to have it. I need you to accept it.” His desperate tone was making her uncomfortable. The hair was standing up on the back of her neck. Why? What could some cheap simple medallion mean? And why was he forcing it on her? No excuses. No ‘I’m sorry’, just committing crimes and religious icons. Insane. He was insane. It wasn’t that easy. She wasn’t that easy. He was drunk. And she was a fool to listen and to come. To hope. “What is this?” Maria asked. Her voice rising in anger, anger and something else…disappointment. “A present. A present to…” “To what? Pay me off?” She handed it back to him. “I don’t want this. I never did. All I wanted was for you to care, to want to care. Dammit! I’m not going to cry!” “Maria…” “Don’t use my name, you bastard! There’s nothing you have I want. Nothing you can say…” “Just listen. Please. I’m in trouble.” Maria laughed bitterly. “Great! Just great! So now you need me? Now I have a purpose, a use? I didn’t enter your life to become some damn pawn!” Maria grabbed her bag to leave, but the man grabbed her arm. “Take this!” “No!” He pushed the medallion in her pocket. “Take it anyway. Not as payment, or even a memory, but take it as a token of what could have been.” “Fine.” And she was gone slamming the door. Maria. He watched her leave. Dammit. Why? Why did he get drunk? He knew she might come. No. He knew she would. He knew her. The child. That brilliant bright child with a heart of gold was still inside her, hidden. That meant she couldn’t just walk away. He knew that. He counted on it. So why did he drink when he needed to be more sober than ever before in his life? It was fear. The ramifications, the harsh reality hit him early that morning. He talked to the first man, the doctor’s friend, but suddenly he felt unsure, uncertain. Who was that stranger? Someone he could trust? So he called the FBI branch office. But he knew they would be looking for him, looking for the files he stole. So he hid them. Hid them somewhere no one would think to look. No one would know. Only Maria. She’d know. If she could remember. Tomorrow. Tomorrow it’d be over, and Maria would see. She’d understand, and maybe, just maybe she’d give him a chance. A real chance to start over.“Maria?” Alex tried to get her attention, but she seemed off somewhere. “Maria, can you…” Michael shook his head no. Alex ’s voice quieted, and he pulled back. He went silent. Waiting. He could wait for Michael to work his magic.
“Maria. Baby, c’mon. Come on back and talk to us. Just let it go for a moment and rest.” Michael moved closer still and put his mouth close to her ear resting his forehead against hers. “It’s okay. You don’t have to be scared. We’re here. You're not alone.”
“He left me. He left me alone.”
“What happened?” Michael didn’t want to ask. He didn’t want to know, because he had seen the paintings. He already knew. He had the flashes and the feelings of pure terror. But this was for her. It was the only way back to herself, the only door open in the prison of her mind. “Maria, can you tell me? Tell me about the last time you saw your dad.”
“Alive. He was alive. But I killed him.” Kyle made a sound at the confession. But Michael ignored him.
“How did you kill him? Tell me.”
“He did it for me. All for me. Because of me, he died.” Maria’s eyes suddenly focused and she met Michael’s gaze, clear and concise. Hard and stark in the memory and the knowledge. “I should’ve stayed. Made sure he wasn’t alone. But I was angry with him, angry that he thought it would be so easy to make amends, to walk back in. After all this time, he thought one small act, one small piece of jewelry would do it.”
“What happened, Maria? It wasn’t the last time. So how did you meet up with him again? How did you see him die?”
“I didn’t. I didn’t meet up with him. I woke up uneasy. Worried. I couldn’t just leave, and that damn medallion was burning a hole in my pocket. I hated it. St. Jude. He gave me a St. Jude medallion. The patron saint of lost causes. My god! It was like a knife, a mockery of my life! My entire fucking life was a lost cause…”
“So you…”
“I went downstairs and told them I was staying. I added another week to the stay. I wasn’t due until the next day in Colorado, so I thought I would call them later and change my reservations. Family emergency.” Maria laughed at that. A high brittle laugh that had a sound of hysteria. “Family emergency.” She just shook her head.
“And…” Alex and Kyle remained quiet as Michael in a low soothing voice pulled the memories from her.
“And I went back to the motel. He was gone. He had left. It took me awhile to locate his home in the Meadows subdivision. I sat in my car laughing, almost in tears. It was modern suburbia. When I was a child, a young girl, this life was all I wanted. The house on a block that looked like all the other houses on the block, and worrying about mowing the lawn. Damn, now? It’s my worst nightmare.” Maria looked at Michael. “I like your house. It’s as unique as you are. A real place. Not a cardboard cut-out of every other house in America, like how all the motel rooms look and smell the same. There can’t be anything worse than being ordinary.”
Michael smiled at that, his tongue coming out to lick his lips. She followed his movement with her eyes and he bit back a groan. They didn’t have time for that, plus company. “Being normal and ordinary has a lot to recommend it at times.”
Maria smiled at him. “I don’t know if I can learn how.”
“Me either. I think we’ll just have to consider it a sort of ‘grass is greener’ syndrome.”
“Okay. Together we’ll be strange and bizarre.”
Alex made eye contact with Michael who nodded. “So how did you find him, Maria?”
“I went back to the motel. I knew he was scared, and just because he wasn’t there before I didn’t think he would come back to his house. So I drove back and I parked my car.” Maria frowned. “It was getting late and dark. I was bored. Playing with the medallion. It was like a taunt or something. I don’t know. Anyway, he came back. I was getting ready to get out of my car, when suddenly this other car drove in. It was black. Dark windows.”
Maria paused. Almost like she was trying to think of something, remember it, but she just shook her head. It was gone.
“I stayed put.” Maria looked at Michael. “They shoved him into the hotel room and I was thinking, worrying about what I should do. Call the police? He stole documents from his work. The FBI? God, does anyone even know the number? It’s not like 911 or 411. I mean, what is it? 1-800-Call-a-Fed? I just didn’t know. Another car came before I could even decide what to do. They pulled him from the room and shoved him into the second car. Some stayed behind to search the room I think. But I couldn’t just leave him alone. So I followed.”
“You followed? In the dark? At night?” Kyle couldn’t wrap his mind around the whole concept. She just took off in the night in a strange place to follow her dad being held at gunpoint by killers? Who the hell let her out alone? She was a menace to herself.
“Yes, in the dark. What is this? A Dr. Seuss investigation? What? 'In a house with a louse. In a box with a fox…' Dammit, what was I supposed to do? I followed.”
“Which way did they go?” Alex asked ignoring Kyle’s reaction to the Dr. Seuss comment.
“I don’t know. It felt like wes t, but it was hard for me to say since I don’t know this area and I was following in the dark, with my headlights off.”
The three men exchanged looks. Seeing it, Maria sighed.
“Yes. Off. They would’ve seen me following otherwise. It was dark. And I had to follow closely, so they couldn’t see my headlights in the night, so I could use theirs as mine. It was still scary using their light trail. The road…it was dark, and I hated not knowing exactly where the road was. I felt sick. Nauseated and hollow inside.” Michael understood. Fear. It lived in the pit of her stomach. He understood that feeling, because he felt it every time Hank would come home.
“Maria…”
“No, it’s okay. Let’s finish this.” Maria couldn’t shake the fear or the sickness in her stomach, but she couldn't back away, not now. “I stopped my car when they did. I was a little ways away from them. I took my cell phone. I tried calling the cops. But the phone…it was outside a reception area. I don’t know…it was dark, and we were in the desert. But we passed woods first, then turned along their edge into the desert. I crept closer. I didn’t know what else to do. How to save him. No phone. No weapons. I was defenseless. He needed my help desperately and I was nothing. I couldn’t save him. I came to stand behind this small outcropping of rock. They had him against a rock face in this washed-out gully area. I was so close, I could smell his fear. See his eyes. Then he looked up. He saw me. Oh god, he saw me…”
She got up and ran. Michael jumped at her quick movement, and quickly followed. She was in the bathroom. He found her in there being sick. Grabbing a fresh linen, he wetted it and put it to the back of her neck. When she was finished, finally quiet, he sat down on the floor and pulled her onto his lap, holding her close and washing her face. Reaching over, he shut the lid and flushed. Rocking her gently against him, he stroked her back.
He knew what was coming. She didn’t need to relive it. She painted it every night in her dreams.
“You don’t have to tell them. I can finish it.”
Maria shook her head against him. Slowly untangling herself from him, she stood up and rinsed her mouth. “No. I have to do it. My story to tell. My nightmare. I can’t be helpless in the face of despair. It’ll cripple me for life. I have to do this Michael. I have to.” She met his eyes in the mirror. “For him. I have to do it for him.”
Michael understood. He hated it, but he understood. Taking her arm, he led her back to the living room to Kyle and Alex . They stood quietly.
Maria continued after clearing her throat as if she had never stopped. “He saw me, and he didn’t give me away. I saw in his eyes, his desperation, his fear, and it was for me. He wanted me to run. To leave him there to die, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t leave him alone. I think for the first time in his life he wished I was more like him, and so did I.”
Maria laughed ironically. If she had been more like him, self preservation, the need to shield herself would have kicked in, but no. She stayed. It was an elongated moment of nightmares. A dream that clouded her brain and took it over. She was going to make a noise, distract them. Maybe find a way to avert their attention so she could take him and run. But life wasn’t like that. It moved faster than the brain could plan. Staring at him, she struggled to come up with a plan. A good one. Her eyes locked with his across the distance, the ringing of shots hit her hard. She jerked in fright in unison with him as the bullets hit his body.
“They shot him. Three times. So quickly, it didn’t register. I couldn’t have known that bullets could make so much noise. He…it was like in slow motion, timeless. His eyes widened. Awareness hit, and then regret. He looked into my eyes as he was dying, and he felt regret. I watched the life bleed from him. One minute his eyes were alive, and then they were opaque. Dead, and he slid to the ground in a heap. I watched him die, and I killed him just as sure as if I pulled the trigger.”
Maria’s voice was hollow. Far away. She sat staring at a faraway wall, not looking at anyone. Kyle closed his eyes. They had his father! Jesus! They had her mother! Two parents lost to the same monster. Tears chased down Maria’s cheek, but she kept talking as Michael leaned over and wiped them away.
“I ran. I made a noise. I couldn’t swallow it. I couldn’t see. I just ran. I could hear a voice. A man’s voice telling them to catch me.” Maria stopped and looked at Michael. “It was the voice of the man that came here that first day, when you hid me behind the door. It was him. He shot my father.”
Burns. Michael remembered her instant fear. The tightening of her body ready to run in fright. Burns. Her confused mind recognized the voice enough to know to be afraid. To not trust. Too bad her father didn’t know the same. He had called Burns, thinking because he was FBI he was someone to trust. It cost him his life. He must have left the motel that day to hide the evidence. He called Burns and told him his location, and when he returned, they were waiting for him. Michael just shook his head.
“It took some effort, but I got my car turned around. They were there. One was banging on the window, and I saw a gun. I hit the gas and the car jumped, sped out of control. I almost skidded and lost it in a ditch, but somehow I held it together. Sean taught me to always turn into the skid. I righted the car, and I was speeding. Back towards Roswell, I hoped. Police. I was hoping to catch a State Trooper, or maybe a Trooper would catch me. It was dark, but I had my lights on this time. I could see the headlights in my rearview mirror. They kept gaining. I sped up, but they came closer. The desert was giving away to forest. Woods. The dark was worse. And I couldn’t breathe as I noticed the headlights. Then they hit me, from behind. The car jerked and swerved, but I got it under control. I saw them in my rearview coming up beside me. I was afraid. Scared. I looked anyway. In a window, was the muzzle of a rifle. I heard the shots hit the back of my car near the gas tank and moving forward to me. I flinched. I couldn’t help it. That’s when I lost control of the car. I saw the road ending, the car flew in the air a few feet. Then I came down hard.”
Maria paused and Michael swore as her hands tightened on his so much he couldn’t feel anything but pain, that and a flash. He was living the nightmare. Her flight into the woods. The accident. Bullets. And the fire.
“Slow motion. No one told me how it felt to live life in slow motion. It’s surreal. Silent. It stretches, and there is a rush in your ears as sound finally speeds up with a crash. And you sit there in shock, uncertain if you’re even still alive. I sat there when I smelt it. My face hurt where it hit the side window. My bones hurt. I had to be alive. But the gas! The smell of gas was so strong! And then there in front of me, under the dash I saw a flicker of fire. Then I smelt the smoke. It was filling the compartment. I struggled, but my seatbelt was jammed. Finally I got it undone, but the door wouldn’t budge and I was coughing from the smoke. I tried to open the other passenger door. It wouldn’t open. I banged on it, screamed, and pleaded for help. On the hill I could see the shadows of the men trying to kill me. They just turned away leaving me to die in the burning car.”
Kyle was alarmed. Her eyes were constricted to pinpoints. Her voice was hollow. He could feel her shaking from where he stood. “It’s enough. You don’t have to tell us any more or live through it again.”
“I leaned back against the driver’s door and tried to kick and shove the passenger door open with my feet. But my shoes. They were wrong. I couldn’t do anything in them. So I quickly took them off. I slammed my bare feet against the door, again and again. The smoke was so thick, and the first licks of flame were in the compartment. I could feel the fire singing my clothes. I was trapped. I knew I was going to die. I almost gave up. Almost. But I couldn’t. Sitting in the driver’s seat, I sat up on my knees facing the window. I pounded and pounded. I could barely breathe and my coughing was wracking my body. First with my fist, and then finally flat handed I slammed at the glass. Maybe the crash weakened it, because there was the beginning of a shatter. I don’t know. It felt like eternity before I became aware that my hands actually went though the glass. I didn’t feel the cuts. I couldn’t feel anything. I used my hands and knocked away more of the glass as air rushed in. I could hear it feeding the fire. The cracking and a whooshing sound as the fire grew, tried to engulf me. I pulled myself through the broken window. In my right hand I leaned on jagged broken glass, and I could feel it cutting deep in my hand. The pain almost made me pass out, but there was a voice in my head. A voice that told me to live. To live. To run. Run. Run. So I did. I ran in the dark. In the woods. Things pulled at me, tried to ensnare and trap me, but I ran for what felt like forever. I followed the voice to a place. There was a light, and I was scared, but it was light and the woods were dark. I followed the light.”
His place. Michael had been sitting in the dark drinking, but he had left he lights of the living room on behind him. The two story cathedral ceiling of windows let a large beacon of light shine through, bringing her to him. Guiding her. The voice. It was her inner voice that she listened to. The same one he listened to all those years ago, dying in that closet. The voice that told him to stop being a baby, to get up, to hide from the monster, and to live.
“The medallion, Maria. Why is it important?” Alex asked trying to pull her from her nightmare, frowning at the paleness of her face and Michael’s. They were connected. He couldn’t understand it, but Guerin was living her horror with her.
Maria clutched the St. Jude medallion around her neck. No. Nothing so cheesy or mundane as a microchip with all the information embedded. That would be too Hollywood. Too something else. It was just a plain religious icon. Nothing else. It was the memory it inspired that was important.
“When I was small, just a child, my father use to take me to church. We sat always in the same row, in the same pew. I was small, bored, and I would kick my feet at the pew in front, or sit on the kneeling bench like it was my own personal world. Once, I kicked too hard, and a piece of wood came off the pew in front of us. My dad was angry with me, but he reached down and he slid the wood back in place. I don’t remember more, because he left not much longer after that. I destroyed something in the house of God, and because of that, I was cursed. My father left.”
Kyle looked at Alex . “It’s in the church. He must have remembered the place and hid the files there.”
Alex nodded. No one would think to look in a church for something like that, or associate it with Jon DeLuca. No one but Maria. “Maria, do you remember which church?”
“Her Holy Immaculate in a small town on the edge of the Reservation.”
“I know that place. It was closed over four years ago, but it still stands.” Alex stood up. So did Kyle. They knew. They had a lead.
“I’m going too.” Maria said softly.
Michael protested, as did Alex and Kyle. “No. You’re out of this, as of right now.” Michael said.
Maria looked up at Michael and stroked his cheek. Strong. He was the strongest person she had ever met. But he was wrong to think she couldn’t match him. “No, I’m not. First, you need me to tell you which pew. To show you where, and second, we need to find my father’s body. The place where they killed him. I think it was in the area they’re dumping the waste.”
Alex looked at the woman. She had said the last thing directly at him. Weeks of walking the Reservation, and she knew. The mate of the coyote knew where the stronghold was. Where death crept in. He nodded. They’d finish it.
“Then let’s go. We’ve got two missing people and no time.”
~~~
Amy looked at Jim in worry. He was still. Too still. The gash on his forehead was still bleeding, but he was breathing. It was dark and the vehicle was moving. The road was bumpy and Amy closed her eyes. Maria. God, Maria. I’m so sorry. Sorry I couldn’t say goodbye. Sorry I’m leaving you alone.
“Amy?”
“Jim!” She scrambled closer. “You’re awake. Finally. I was worried.”
Jim nodded and bit back the nausea, trying to see through the dark gloom of the van. They were moving. This wasn’t good. Looking at Amy, he bit back another thought. Idiot. He was a fool to ever let her stay involved.
“Did they say anything?”
“No. I wasn’t awake yet when they tossed us in here. I just woke before you.” Amy crawled closer to him, sitting beside him for comfort.
Jim tried to reach out, to pull her close, but his bound hands made that impossible. He couldn’t even touch her. Closing his eyes, he thought of Kyle, and how Kyle had found Burns. Oh damn. Amy.
“I’m sorry, Amy. I should’ve never taken you with me.” Jim couldn’t believe how stupid and impulsive he had acted. If Kyle or Hanson acted that way, he’d…damn. Jim never got to finish because the van stopped. They were at their destination.
~~~
Alex took out his phone and made the call. Michael ignored him. His entire attention was on Maria. Her face was lacking any color, and he could feel the coldness from her skin.
It hadn’t taken them long to retrieve the files left by Jon DeLuca in that broken-down church. Alex took them, swearing under his breath, and he quickly made the call.
“Do you think they'll take our parents to where they killed my father?” Maria asked Kyle quietly.
“I don’t know. Alex does.”
“Who is he calling? Is he a Fed?”
Kyle looked at his friend. “He’s something else, or I think he is. I don’t know who he's calling, but I think he’s on leave from his work.”
Michael swore. “Great.” He went back to concentrating on driving Kyle’s car. Maria gave him instructions every once in awhile. They passed Fraser Woods and his home and were heading to the Mescalero Reservation. They took a side road running parallel to the woods. Michael frowned. This was a mistake. Bringing Maria was a big mistake. He should’ve stashed her somewhere safe.
Alex hung up his phone.
“Who did you call? The Cavalry?” Kyle asked.
“No, someone better. Don’t worry, we won’t be alone now that I know where the dumpsite is.” Alex tried to remember the general area. They had walked it weeks ago, but hadn’t seen anything.
Maria breathed in sharply when she saw the rocky outcropping where she had stood watching her father die. They stopped the car and got out. Almost in a daze, she walked to the exact place. Before the men could stop her, she was almost there. Michael took off after her, but he wasn’t fast enough as she was grabbed.
“Hands up, or she gets a bullet for her trouble.”
“I would suggest you follow Gerard’s suggestion. He’s not a great bluffer,” said Clayton Wheeler, Jr. Coming into sight, he stepped around the rock face. They all stood facing each other along a canyon wall, the cliff face to their back. Alex looked up the cliff face searching for something.
Kyle made a sound of distress when he finally noticed his father and Amy DeLuca on their knees behind Clayton and Gerard. Another two men had guns aimed at their heads.
“We knew that eventually Ms. DeLuca would lead you here.” Clayton said. He looked the young woman over. Pity. She was something he wouldn’t mind playing with for a short period of time, but he couldn’t afford to have her alive and breathing. Gerard held her with his gun to her temple, and his other hand moving sensually down the side of her neck.
Michael had stopped with Kyle and Alex , slightly ahead of them and closer to Gerard and Maria. Watching the man handle her, his fingers moving down the side of her exposed neck, Michael couldn’t choke back his fury.
“Get your fucking hands off her!”
Maria’s eyes met his, pleading with him to hold back, to stay safe, but Michael couldn’t see anything but the man’s hands on Maria and, tasting her fear, he stepped forward.
Gerard turned the gun on Michael, and Maria grabbed at his arm. “No! No, don’t hurt him.”
Clayton watched the interplay with interest. Obviously Gerard was just as regretful to have to dispose of the lovely Ms. DeLuca without first playing with her, and her protector seemed more than a little upset. Smiling evilly, he took note of Alex and Kyle. More bodies. Excellent.
“Mr. Wheeler, you realize that your operation is over?” Alex asked softly trying to defuse the situation before Michael lost control. “I realize that this dumping has been going on for more than ten years, so that means it must be a legacy left over from your father.”
“True. My father had a hand in it, but actually it was all my idea. My father, late in his life, was obsessed with finding a cure to old age. He was a dying man, and death would be the only thing to ever beat him. He couldn’t stand it. He even hoped that aliens existed. Anything to cheat death. A few years ago they discovered these blue crystals in underground caves around this region, partially on the Res, and partially under Fraser Woods. They made advances in genetic alterations possible, but the residual waste product was too toxic to dispose of safely and within established dumping grounds. The government keeps tabs on such waste. We couldn’t afford to have them look too close.”
Alex and Kyle shared a look between them. Alex had found the residual underground caverns with destroyed crystals. The crystals looked to have been destroyed for a long time, maybe even years.
“So the toxic waste is left over from genetic experiments?” Kyle asked, fearing the answer. That would explain the high birth defects and miscarriage rates in the general region. The people were being exposed to altering materials that was had the same ability to mutate like a radioactive isotope.
“At first, but later other things were added to it. Nothing like free dumping.”
Alex moved forward in a threatening move. His people. The men with Clayton Wheeler turned their guns towards Alex who moved back with his hands raised.
Michael watched at Gerard’s hand moved down and his arm circled Maria’s waist. He said something to his employer. The man nodded.
Looking at his other henchmen, Clayton nodded at the group. “Kill them. All of them.” Gerard started moving back taking Maria with him. Michael moved in protest.
Clayton smiled. “Is it Mr. Guerin ? Seems you were able to keep Ms. DeLuca from us for a longer time then I felt comfortable with. It is a shame that you didn’t remain protecting her. Bringing her here was a mistake, and one that you’ll not be able to fix. I’m afraid that I’m going to need to keep Ms. DeLuca awhile longer. Seems my right hand man, Gerard has taken a liking to her, and I must admit I’m curious myself. The rest of you? I’m afraid you’re just more waste that needs to be dumped.”
Alex hoped that Michael wouldn’t lose his cool. Gerard seemed to feel his anger and kept his gun trained on the man. Looking up to the top of the surrounding cliffs, Alex nodded.
“You might need to take care of us, Mr. Wheeler, but what about them?” Alex nodded to the cliffs. Wheeler and his men looked up at the to the rocks cliffs around them. Slowly they filled with Mescalero Apaches, all holding rifles trained on the men responsible for hurting their land and their people. “You didn’t think they would let you walk away? That you’d be free to destroy and maim at will?”
Clayton and his men circled around, looking at the number of men with rifles trained on them. There was no way out.
“Tell them to back off or we will shoot.”
“Shoot. They have no ties to these people. The people they care about are already being hurt, and they’re here to stop it. To find revenge.”
Kyle made a move of distress eyeing his father and Amy, but Jim made a quick shake of his head. It was the difference between being hostages and victims. As hostages Wheeler and his people had a hold. As mere victims, there was no leverage.
Gerard stepped back again with Maria hard against him. She made a sound of distress as the metal of the gun was once again pressed against her head.
“I told you to get your hands off her!” Michael’s hand came up, and in a surge of power, Gerard was suddenly moving back, hitting the rock face with extreme force. The stunned group paused for a moment, unable to comprehend what just happened, but suddenly all the guns began to fire.
Jim Valenti moved sideways and pushed Amy over on the ground to keep her out of the line of fire, as Michael rushed to pull a now-freed Maria down. Alex ’s gun came from his back holster, and Kyle’s gun was out and firing, returning fire at Wheeler’s men. In a rush of gunfire and smoke, Michael sensed, more than saw Clayton Wheeler’s arm move around to target Maria in his sights. Moving in a flood of motion, he pushed her aside and stepped in its path. He felt the impact, but his body couldn’t understand what was happening.
Life slowed to a moment by moment time frame, and his body seemed suspended above his reason. The inability to coordinate his movements and feel his body reminded him of his childhood, the lack of reality. And then, that fast, the world woke up and sped off again.
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