Author: DocPaul
Spoilers: Up to It's Too Late, It's Too Bad.
“We’ve been through some real tough times lately. And the thing is that
you’re right. I am going to leave. It could be in a year, two or even fifty I
can’t imagine it ever happening, but I am going to leave. And that sucks. But it
is the price we had paid to be together. What I do know, is that I can give you
now.”
Michael watched as Maria nodded at him and reaching over she took
his hand and brought it to her mouth, where she kissed his palm. A tear rolled
down her face to fall gently in his hand as his fingers cupped her face. She
released him and wiped away the other tears. That one gesture nearly unmanned
him. With one move, she made him sadder than he ever-remembered being, praying
for fifty years and not just one. But it didn’t matter, because if it were only
one year he got with her, it would last a lifetime. It had to, because she was
irreplaceable. Losing her, losing his humanity would be the final walk toward
nothing.
Clearing his throat from the thickening emotions threatening to
choke him, Michael reached for a picture of Alex’s instruments. “I think this
would go nicely here.” He looked at Maria, and she gently smiled at him through
the tears. He knew this was important. It was the biggest part of her coming to
terms with the loss of Alex, and if she failed to complete it in time, she would
never forgive herself.
They spent another two hours moving all the
material around the collage, and Michael found himself chuckling over one of
Alex’s list he made on the alternative uses of a paperclip. Alex’s humor made
him one sick pup. Amy wandered in and out a couple of times until she finally
gave in and sat down to help them. Michael didn’t notice when food found it way
to sit at his elbow, but the group of them sat working on the collage, eating
and drinking, and both woman making Sean run for supplies.
Amy began
telling the most incredible stories about a younger Maria and Alex. Michael was
actually horrified at the story of how Alex had crafted wings and convinced
Maria to jump with him off the roof to see if they could fly. Liz had refused
and ran inside to get Amy to stop them. Maria was still maintaining that they
would have worked. She sat talking with her mom about Alex late into the night,
crying the whole while. And for the first time since Alex died, they all just
let her cry. It was time to heal.
Michael’s whole body went into shock
when the organizing was over and Maria grabbed an X-acto knife to begin cutting
up the pictures into the shapes they needed to fit, and Amy reach over to take
it from her. For an instant in time, the two DeLuca women fought over who should
cut, and who should paste. But all Michael could see was that sharpened edge
moving all around, jabbing the air. Stealing himself against a mortal wound, he
reached over and plucked the knife from their hands.
“I’ll cut, and the
two of you paste.”
Amy was shocked at one time during the project looking
up to find Michael wiping a tear off Maria’s face. He leaned in and whispered in
her ear, and she nodded her head as her own hand came up to cover his where it
rested on her face. They stared intensely at each other for a moment, and then
Amy watched Maria’s eye drop to look at Michael’s lips, and suddenly her
daughter was kissing him gently. Michael just closed his eyes and kissed her
back, and when they pulled apart they both resumed working on the collage, but
Maria’s hand remained on Michael’s leg under the table. She knew Michael loved
her daughter, but this was somehow more. It was like they had moved on to a
whole new level of maturity, overnight.
It was three in the morning
before the finishing touches were added. Amy had gone off to bed hours before,
and even Sean finally gave up around one. Helping Maria to pick up the mess, he
noticed how tired she was, how stiff.
“Leave it.”
“I’ve got to
pick up, and…”
“What you have to do is leave it alone, let me pick up the
mess while you go take a quick shower. You’re tired, and I know how you hate to
sleep without feeling clean. So go.”
“Michael, I…”
“Go.” He
watched her take off down the hall. Slowly moving around the table he picked up
all the art supplies, and with a trash bag, he gathered up all the scraps. The
pictures they didn’t use were neatly stacked and put away in envelopes. Finally
he stood looking down at the finished collage. He had to admit that her vision
of a tribute to Alex was very complete and beautiful. You could feel the love
and sorrow that went into its construction, a sense of sadness of a promising
life lost to senseless waste. In this one little project, Maria was able to
capture and convey to all those who mourned Alex without really knowing him, how
much they missed out on, and how much the world would miss out on, and how much
he was truly loved.
Hearing the door open in the hall. He leaned the
collage up against the wall to dry, turned off the kitchen lights and went to
find Maria. She was putting away her dirty clothes, and stood in a t-shirt, one
of his brushing her hair. Putting the brush down, she turned to look at him
standing in the doorway. He reached out his hand to her, and she took it as he
pulled her out of the bathroom and towards her bedroom.
Maria let him
tuck her in for the night. “Are you leaving?”
“Yeah, I think your mom
would prefer not to find me in your bed, and I am so tired the thought of
wrestling Sean for the sofa doesn’t appeal.”
“Don’t leave,
stay.”
“Maria…”
“Just for now. I need you.” Michael felt his body
reaction to that. It was his one weakness, being needed.
“Maria, I don’t
want this to be about…”
“Shush,” She pulled him down to her and kissed
him, sucking his lower lip into her mouth, mapping all his tastes. “It’s not
about gratitude. I just want to feel for a moment, to breath again. And I only
seem able to do that around you. I missed you these last few days. It’s been
lonely with you on one side of the town, Liz on the other, and Alex
gone.”
“I know. I missed you, too.”
“Then just hold me, be with
me, and let me feel you. I just want to remember what it feels like to be
alive.” Michael reached down and scooted her over in the bed so there would be
room for him too. “Okay, but rules are above clothes only and you stay on your
side. I don’t want your mother coming in finding us together in bed, and minus
clothes.”
“You could put us back together….”
“No, not going to
happen. I’m so tired that I will fall asleep once my brain catches up to my
body, and I have come too far in gaining your mother’s trust to risk it now, so
I’ll stay, but only if you behave.” Maria thought about it for a second, and she
had to admit that her mother’s reaction and growing regard for Michael was worth
everything.
“Okay, I agree.” Maria pulled him down the rest of the way on
the bed. They were kissing, and her hand found it’s way under his shirt along
his skin. She like the way his back felt all smooth with the muscles moving
under her hand. Pulling away she whispered in his ear. “I forgot to mention, I’m
not wearing anything under your t-shirt.” And with that she nipped his bottom
lip with her teeth.
“Maria!” She was being very unfair. What could be
better than naked Maria flesh under his Metallica t-shirt, a soft bed, and Maria
kissing that special spot on his neck? He should have known better, since when
did Maria DeLuca ever behave?
Amy wasn’t surprised to see Michael
sleeping on Maria’s bed, but she did notice that he was above the covers leaning
on Maria, holding her close against him. He looked tired, and so did Maria.
Wondering how long they worked on the collage, she couldn’t fault him for being
too tired to go home, and with Sean on the sofa there was little room for him to
sleep. Going over to the bed she pushed his shoulder to wake him. It took a
moment for his eyes to clear and bring her in focus.
“Michael, you and
Maria need to get up and around or you will be late for school. I should mention
that Sean is sort of a cereal hog, so you might want to beat him to the cereal
and milk before it’s gone.” With that said Amy left the room. She could almost
hear the wheels turning in his head as he made note that she didn’t hit him with
anything for being in her daughter’s bed, again.
Maria was the first one
to enter the kitchen wearing a black t-shirt. It looked like the one she washed
of Michael’s that he had left here. Obviously Maria decided that the t-shirt was
a good substitute for Michael after he was missing for the past few
days.
“Where is Michael? Is he up?”
“Bathroom. For some reason he
is convinced if I use it first there will be no hot water left.”
Amy
chuckled to herself. Michael Guerin wasn’t stupid. “Hmm, wonder where he got
that idea from.” Maria just shrugged as she started pulling out cereal and
bowls. Amy looked over at the finished collage. It was beautiful.
“When
did you finish it?” Maria followed her mother’s glance.
“Almost four this
morning, that’s why I made Michael stay. He was dead on his feet, and hearing
about him getting ran over on his way home is the last thing I need right
now.”
“That would be hard to take.” Maria paused in her task to look over
at her mom with a hand at her waist.
“What did you say to him? He refused
to stay with me unless I kept my clothes on, and didn’t try to tempt him into my
bed, and under the covers. What a prude.” Amy just started laughing at Maria’s
exasperated look on her face. But as usual Maria found a way to get the last
laugh on her way out the door when she heard Michael leaving the bathroom
“Luckily I am very experienced in breaking down his resistance.” And with a
cheeky grin, Maria left the room humming. What? Amy look of outrage was aimed at
her daughter’s back, especially when Michael came into the room, but not before
Maria patted him on the butt on her way out.
The first thing Michael saw
was an angry Amy face. “What did I do?”
Sean came in the kitchen behind
Michael. “I’m sure there has got to be a list around somewhere,
Guerin.”
Amy couldn’t stop laughing at the sight of Sean and Michael
fighting over the cereal. The sounds of their voices, and Maria’s singing in the
bathroom made her feel like some peace and balance had been restored. It was the
white paper under the table that caught her eye. Retrieving it, she was shocked
to find a missed picture of Alex. His smiling face looked at her, taking it with
her back to the kitchen window, she felt the blow of what was lost once again.
Tears of loss and sorrow ran down her face. With the new day coming, and the
rains finally stopping, it was hard to imagine that the world could go on
without him, but somehow it did. Alex.