Maria glanced across the waiting room to watch Max for a moment. He’d thanked them profusely for finding Alex, and only paused briefly to stare at Alex’s still soaked shirt. It was unspoken between her and Michael that no one needed to know he’d stopped at the service station and pulled Alex out of the car to throw two cold glasses of water in his face - the stunt had worked, Alex was now surprisingly sober, and currently inside the delivery room with his wife. Max seemed a little lost, his father was in the cafeteria getting coffee for everyone, and his mother was with Isabel. Maria wondered for the first time that night where Liz was.

Suddenly, Alex came bursting out of the doors to the closed off part of the hall with a huge smile on his face. She sat forward slightly, waiting for the news.

“A girl,” Alex sputtered as he stopped in front of them, “a baby girl.”

Maria felt Michael stirring next to her, and glanced over to see that he’d opened his eyes, and was now staring groggily at Alex.

Max was hugging Alex awkwardly, and asking about Isabel. Maria turned to Michael again, he was staring up at the ceiling. She glanced at her watch it was nearly six in the morning.

“Do you want to go?” she asked him quietly. He’d wanted to stay before, after they’d brought Alex in, he’d told her he could run her home, but she’d refused.

“I guess we could wait, to see her,” he said as he sat forward and rubbed the sleep from his eyes, “if it’s ok with you.”

“Yeah, it’s fine with me,” she said.

He nodded, and sat back again.

About an hour later, a nurse came to tell Max he could see Isabel, and then a few minutes after that, he’d come back to tell Michael he could sneak in to see her.

“Ok,” Michael had answered, hesitantly moving to his feet.

Something had propelled her to her feet as well, and she had a feeling it was the hard set of his jaw as he prepared himself to enter the room.

“Can I sneak in with him?” she asked Max.

Max had nodded, smiling as he pointed to the mobile phone, which was now pressed firmly to his ear. He was apparently still calling relatives.

Michael glanced back at her, then started walking. She followed closely behind.

Isabel managed to look beautiful even when she looked sweaty and tired as she laid back in her hospital bed with a soft smile on her face. Maria’s eyes traveled to Alex who was holding his tiny daughter in the chair next to the bed. He was completely absorbed in the baby, barely giving them a glance.

“Hey,” Michael greeted the new mother as he walked to her bedside.

Maria hung back a little, feeling like an intruder. Looking at the new family, it occurred to her that this picture could very well have been her and Michael. Together, but not, stuck with each other.

“Thank you for bringing him,” Isabel said with a tired smile as she looked up at Michael and nodded her head in Alex’s direction.

“Yeah, sure,” Michael shrugged.

Maria didn’t miss the look that Alex shot in Michael’s direction, there was gratitude in the new father’s eyes as well.

“Thank you, too,” Isabel looked over in her direction.

Smiling, Maria crossed her arms, suddenly feeling more uncomfortable at being singled out, “Yeah, no problem.”

Michael had turned away from Isabel and was staring at her strangely.

“We should probably go,” Michael said after a moment of silence.

“Don’t you want to hold the baby?” Isabel asked him.

Maria watched as Michael forced himself to look at the baby. She realized that he hadn’t looked at the infant before this point. Several emotions seemed to sweep across his face at once.

“I-I can’t,” he said after a moment shaking his head, “I don’t really know how or anything.”

“No, it’s easy,” Isabel protested as Alex glanced up to look back and forth between his wife and Michael. He didn’t seem thrilled at the prospect of handing his baby over to the other man.

“We should really be going,” Maria stepped forward and said without really thinking. Alex glanced at her briefly before letting his eyes drift back to his daughter, Isabel smiled politely at her, and Michael gave her a look that she didn’t bother to interpret.

***

He didn’t protest when she took the keys, even though he knew she had to be more tired than he was, she hadn’t slept at all.

“I’m glad everything turned out all right,” she said as her fingers gripped the wheel tightly and she squinted in the morning sunlight.

“Yeah,” he answered.

“Was it just me, or did it seem like they might have a shot?”

Running a hand through his hair, he nodded in agreement, “I guess they might.”

“I just want you to know,” she began with her voice low, “I think it was really great of you to do all of this for her. She’s your ex, and well, I guess a lot of people wouldn’t.”

Shrugging, he looked out the window. He had a feeling that was supposed to be a compliment, but he had no idea how to respond to it.

“It’s nothin’,” was all he could think to say.

“No, it was,” she insisted. “I know it was hard for you, being there and everything. I had no idea what had happened between you two…” she let her voice trail off.

This was not something he wanted to talk about, so he stared out the side window and hoped she’d just stop talking.

“What was it like?” she asked softly.

“What was ‘what’ like?” he asked, although he had a feeling he knew where she was going.

“You know, seeing her there…like that,” her voice was low.

He had no idea how to respond to that. What was he supposed to say? That when he walked into that hospital room he didn’t feel anything? That the first real thought he’d had about the whole scene had been about her?

“It’s over,” he said simply. “There’s nothing there.”

Glancing in her direction he saw that her brow was furrowed at his answer. She was breathing strangely, and he wondered if maybe she was more nervous than he was about this topic. Then why was she pushing it?

“But,” she licked her lips and took a deep breath, “you always seem so affected by her. Every time you’re with her, you get this look on your face…and, just now in the room, you looked – I don’t know…”

So, she was worried about him again. It was her way, she cared, maybe it was in spite of herself, but she cared. Something made him want to tell her, made him wish he could say what he was thinking.

“There was always this picture,” he sat up straight, and worked to keep his voice even. “A picture in my mind, sort of a future picture – and it was always her. Always, for as long as I can remember. Then, at the wedding…at the wedding, I don’t know. It was just over, the picture is gone. Totally, completely gone. What we had, it was never that – not really…I just didn’t have anything else to imagine.”

As soon as he was done speaking, he felt stupid. He wasn’t good with words, and he knew he’d completely botched it. Could he blame it on a lack of sleep?

“I didn’t mean to pry,” she said.

“Yeah,” was all he could say. She probably thought he was defective now. Well, he was defective, so she wouldn’t really be wrong.

He was surprised when he found her driving to his place and not hers. When they pulled to a stop outside, he turned to look at her. She was staring straight ahead, blinking slowly.

Without a word, he got out of the car and went to the entrance of his building, and waited there for her. After a few seconds, she joined him there. He reached down and took the keys from her hand, then went inside to unlock the door.

***

Maria wasn’t really sure what to do. She couldn’t take his car, and she didn’t really feel like spending an hour riding buses to get back to her place. He wouldn’t mind if she just stayed there, she knew, so she decided to do it without really saying anything.

Michael let them in, then immediately went to the kitchen to get himself a bottle of water out of the fridge. He came back with one for her too, and handed it to her. She looked at it for a moment, and then up at him. How did he know she was thirsty?

He turned and walked up the stairs and entered his room without a word. From below, she saw him beginning to strip as he walked around the room. Not really stopping to think, she simply mounted the stairs and walked up. When she got to his door, he was already wearing his pajama bottoms and was pulling on a clean t-shirt. He glanced her way, then tossed her a t-shirt and a pair of boxers he’d set on the top of his dresser.

Staring at the clothes, she paused for a moment, then looked up to see him climb into his bed. He looked at her for a moment, deeply, intently. She couldn’t really handle it, so she turned away and went into the bathroom to change.

Alternately taking sips of water and stripping off items of clothing in front of the bathroom mirror, she contemplated what to do next. There was a bedroom up the next flight of stairs she knew, she’d stayed in it before. A voice in the back of her head told her that was probably the best place for her to go, but she felt something tugging her in the direction of his bedroom, or more specifically in the direction of his bed, or even more specifically than that in the direction of his arms.

As she exited the bathroom, thoughts of another course of action left her mind as she walked into his room and slipped under the covers beside him. He turned to look at her as she punched the pillow to make it fit her neck better. That look that he had, intense, searching, knowing. There was something about his looks that made her think he knew her inside and out.

She gave him a little smile and closed her eyes.

***

He wasn’t surprised to find her in his arms when he woke. Somehow, he had pulled her up against him, spooning her while they slept. His nose was buried in her hair, and he took several deep breaths to fill himself with her smell before she woke and ran away from him.

It seemed that she’d heard his thoughts, because almost immediately after he had them, he felt her jolt awake, and felt her stiffen.

“Hey,” his voice was gravely as he spoke his greeting into her hair.

She tensed when he spoke, and almost immediately twisted around in his arms so that she was facing him.

“Hey,” she whispered back as she looked at him

God, he wanted her. Wanted to remove the little bits of cotton that were separating them and make her his.

The late afternoon sun was casting lazy shadows on her face through the blinds, and he wanted to kiss her more than he ever had before.

It was only a moment before he had pressed his lips against hers. She started to protest, started to push him away, but in seconds, her hands had buried themselves in his hair, and her mouth had opened to him.

So long, so long since he’d had her in his arms like this. Too long, too, too long…

“ Michael,” she whispered as he pulled out of her kiss to move his lips to her chin, her throat, the side of her neck.

“Mmm…” he moaned into her skin as he tasted her, letting his lips, his tongue, his teeth nip and kiss at her soft flesh.

It was happening again. She was in his bed, she was his for the moment, but it wouldn’t last, that much he knew. Even knowing the eventual result couldn’t stop him as he kissed her lips again, pulling her bottom lip into his mouth, catching it with his teeth.

Her shirt was suddenly gone, then his, her boxers, then his pants…

Somehow he managed to avoid the thoughts until he was laying on top of her, with one of her perfect nipples in his mouth, biting and sucking until she begged for mercy. He looked up into her face, and was overcome by what he saw there. Moving up ‘til his eyes were mere centimeters from her own, he studied her face. The look was back, that look that told him exactly what she thought about him, exactly what she felt for him. He never thought he’d see it again, and it brought reality crashing back.

Shaking his head, he started to back away from her. He couldn’t do it again, couldn’t let himself be inside her, couldn’t let her make him feel those things that only she could. She’d leave when it was over, leave and probably never come back again.

“Michael?” her voice sounded small as her hands gripped his arms when he started to move away.

“I can’t,” he said simply. “I can’t do this again.”

Her chin quivered, and her eyes narrowed, “You don’t want me?”

He wasn’t sure if it was the tone of her voice, or the look on her face, but she shattered every rational thought he had. His lips came crashing back to hers.

Want her? Want her? Did he want her?

His hands slid behind her back and he pulled her up to him, crushing her body against his. There was no way to get enough of her, he’d never ever get enough. One of his hands found her panties and tugged them down quickly as he laid her back on the bed.

She moaned when he pulled away to reach for his nightstand drawer, trying to blindly find one of the condom packages he knew was in there.

“It’s ok,” she whispered, pressing her lips to his jaw and pulling on his shoulders with her hands, “don’t worry about it.”

He didn’t know what she meant, if she was on something now, or if she was willing to risk it – frankly, he couldn’t care less.

His boxers were gone in the blink of an eye, and her eyes were half closed as she tried to pull him into her when he pulled her legs up and moved himself to her entrance, moving himself back and forth there, teasing her.

“Want you?” he hissed as she dug her nails into his back, trying to pull him inside her.

“ Want you?” he repeated as he took a breath and plunged into her, making her back arch, bringing a cry of pleasure from deep in her throat.

“Do I want you?” he asked her quietly as he pulled himself out completely, then buried himself in her again.

She was moaning, the sounds didn’t stop spilling over her lips as her eyes were closed, and her head was thrown back. Here, she was his, in his arms, when he was inside her, she was his – only his.

He took it slow. Slow, and deep, and hard. It had to last, somewhere in his mind, he knew it wouldn’t happen again. His pace was slow, and his rhythm was uneven, to give himself more time, to prolong it.

Over and over, he would pull all of the way out of her, waiting until she begged him, waiting until she opened her eyes and gave him the look, then he would thrust into her, and continue for a bit before starting the torture over again. Maybe this way, if he made it long enough, if he made it desperate enough she’d never forget him. Forever, no matter how far away she got, she’d have this memory with her. If he could bury himself deep enough inside her, maybe he could make sure she’d carry him with her forever. There had to be some way to do to her what she’d done to him, there had to be some way to make her think she’d never be able to breathe without him.

***

She was dying. He was killing her, slowly, but surely killing her. There was so much pleasure, she felt like she was in a haze. When she opened her eyes, all she could see was him as he stared back at her, making her feel weak. It felt so good when he was moving inside her, it was the most exquisite torture.

“Michael,” she moaned as he pulled out again. Her hands went to his shoulders, she pulled until her nails bit into his flesh, her legs wrapped around him, trying to force him back inside. Why was he doing this? Why oh why…? Finally she opened her eyes, wondering if he was actually really there or if she’d dreamed him. There he was, looking god-like as a drop of sweat slid down from his forehead to his chin. As she looked at him, he entered her again, hard and swift, and she had to bite back the scream of pleasure that wanted to rip it’s way out of her mouth.

All she could do was groan when the orgasm that had been building for what seemed like hours finally rippled through her core, spreading a warm heat throughout her body. It wasn’t over yet, though, he just kept going, continued it until she came again.

***

Michael was at the end of his rope, he nearly lost it when she came the second time. Never in his life had he seen anything like it – it was almost as though once he got her started she wouldn’t stop. Her voice was growing hoarse from over use, and his shoulders and legs were starting to ache.

“Maria,” he whispered as he met her lips with his own and began to thrust steadily in and out of her. He couldn’t take it anymore, he needed release, it had to end. Now, he was grinding himself into her with every stroke, wanting to bring her with him.

“ Michael,” her voice intoned, making his name something between a prayer and a curse as her inner muscles began to flutter around him, her back arched as she came again.

That was all it took, his name on her lips one last time, the feeling of her orgasm hitting full force - he came inside her, filling her with everything he had.

It was over, and he collapsed on top of her. She was panting as hard as he was, almost gasping for breath. Her hands, found their way into his hair, and she began to stroke her fingernails gently along his scalp. He fought to keep his eyes open, willed his tired muscles to move him so that he could look at her, drink in the sight of her.

Pulling away slightly so that he could look at her face, he saw that her eyes were closed. Moving out of her, and resting on one elbow at her side, he began to brush her sweat soaked hair away from her face. Her eyes opened after a while, when her breathing had normalized, and she looked at him.

“Why, Maria?” he asked as he laid one hand on her cheek, turning her head slightly so that she couldn’t look away from him.

“Why what?” she returned, turning her eyes first to the ceiling, then closing them again. She knew what he meant.

“ Why?”

“Why what?” her voice was a whisper.

She wanted to make it difficult, or she wanted him to come right out and say it. He wasn’t sure which.

“Why did you let me in?” he asked as he laid himself closer to her, leaning his forehead against her temple as his hand ran down from her cheek to her neck, over her perfect little breasts, to rest on the curve of her hip.

“In?” she breathed out as he kissed her jaw, letting his lips move slowly toward her ear.

This was the only way to keep her with him, he knew. Keep her distracted, kiss her, touch her, hold her…

“Inside, Maria,” he answered. “Why did you let me inside?”

Michael wasn’t sure if it was what he was doing with his lips, or the question, but she let out a low, passionate moan that made his toes curl.

That was probably all of the answer that he was going to get.

He didn’t know why he kept trying to get her to repeat it, it wasn’t as if he believed in that sort of thing anyway. It was just something people said to each other.

She was asleep a few minutes later, and he laid back on the pillows and pulled her on top of him. In her sleep, she draped herself over his body, snuggling her face into his neck. It felt almost perfect, having her in his arms after wishing to hold her for so long.

Sleep slowly overtook him, and the next time he opened his eyes it was morning, and she was gone.