Michael followed her through the rain. Somehow, he knew she
was aware of his presence, but she refused to acknowledge him, so he
didn’t say anything…just followed, and watched.
When she reached
her building, she climbed the steps then paused with her hand on the knob.
He stopped on the sidewalk a few feet behind her. She turned her head
sideways, and he knew she was looking at him out of the corner of her eye,
then she pursed her lips and turned to go inside.
After she was
gone, he turned to walk home. Staring down at the pavement passing beneath
his feet he began to ponder the night’s events. Why had she run? There had
been something there, he’d seen it, he’d felt it…Of course the money thing
he understood, he realized what she thought after he did it, but she was
running long before that. Why open up and then leave? Why let him touch
her? And, why on earth had she let him be her first? What could she have
seen in him that would make her want him to be the
one…?
***
Maria glanced in the mirror after she put the
sweater on. Well, the clothes were a little out dated, but they were just
going to have to be good enough. She looked at her watch. It was nearly 10
am. If she was going to be back by noon she needed to hurry.
On her
way out of the diner she gave Liz a little wave. It was cold outside, but
the sun was peaking through the clouds. She walked to the bus stop sign
and silently wished they hadn’t had to sell Kyle’s car over the summer, it
would have been so convenient to have it at a time like this - the
attorney’s office was all of the way downtown, and the majority of the
next two hours would be spent bus hopping.
As she waited, her gaze
wandered to his building. He hadn’t been in that morning. Not that he was
in every morning, but she seemed to feel his absence acutely on this
particular morning. She didn’t know why she wanted to see him. It would
probably be awkward as hell. He probably thought she was
ridiculous.
It had just been meaningless sex. The key word being
‘meaningless’, she needed to try to remember that. So what if he’d been
tender after he realized it was her first time? And, it didn’t really
matter that for a few minutes he’d looked at her like she was beautiful.
He didn’t care about her, and he’d obviously found the whole experience
rather disappointing. Sighing, she flipped the collar of her coat up and
wished she could stop thinking about the feeling of his skin next to
hers.
She shook her head to clear it, trying to keep her mind on
the task at hand, on the money she had to part with in a few more minutes,
but succeeding only in bringing up the memory she’d been trying to avoid
the most - the few seconds when she’d considered reaching her hand out and
taking the money…
***
Michael hopped out of the shower and
dressed quickly, not bothering to dry his hair before throwing on his coat
and shoes. His living room was littered with supplies that had somehow
overflowed from his studio area in the corner. He hadn’t slept. All night,
he’d worked, turning out sketch after sketch, then moving to canvas…Time
had gotten away from him. He’d intended to eat early, but he’d been so
wrapped up in the last piece he’d completely lost track of the hour. It
was already after 11, and that was really too late for
breakfast.
He walked in the door of the diner and plopped down at
the counter, trying not to look for her. The brunette was there, standing
by the order window, and she mobilized when he came in. No, that wasn’t
right, this wasn’t her section. He glanced around, looking for Maria.
Maybe they had started changing sections everyday again.
The
brunette stopped in front of him, “Hi, what can I get you?’
He
stared at her for a moment, and wondered if maybe the blonde had run into
the back when she saw him come in, “Uh, the usual.”
Smiling
teasingly, Liz raised her eyebrows, “You know I don’t know what your usual
is. Think you could fill me in?”
“Maybe you could ask someone who
does know.”
She stared at him for a moment, then she dropped the
order pad back into her pocket and leaned down on the counter, “She’s not
here.”
That was impossible. He raised his eyebrows, “She’s
always here.”
Liz smirked, “She’s not always here and
you know it.”
“I know that, but this is her shift. She doesn’t miss
shifts.”
The brunette gave him a mischievous smile, “Well, she’s
not here.” Then, she stood and walked away.
For a moment, he
felt a sort of panic. What if she had quit? Surely not, not over…Well,
maybe…He looked around, hoping it was just a joke and that she was really
just hiding in the kitchen. The brunette was still smiling slightly and
glanced at him as she cleared the plates off a table.
He swallowed
hard and turned to look at her. There was only one other customer in the
place.
“Four pieces of toast, a quarter cut of cantaloupe, three
eggs, four sausages,” he said, trying to act nonchalant.
The
brunette walked over and stood next to him, pulling her order pad out and
writing, “How do you want your eggs?”
“Sunny side up,” he said with
a sigh.
“And anything to drink?”
“Coffee.”
“Comin’
right up,” she smiled slightly.
He ate in silence, as usual, but
for once wished he had a distraction. When the door of the diner opened,
he looked immediately.
She didn’t look at him as she walked in, but
he knew she was aware of his presence. The strange thing was that she
wasn’t wearing her uniform, but instead a straight black skirt and a
sweater. He watched carefully as she walked into the back and was even
more relieved when she came out a few moments later in her uniform. So,
she hadn’t quit.
It seemed that she was moving in slow speed as she
stepped behind the counter. She came to a stop in front of him, and turned
to face him deliberately. Placing her hands on the counter, she stared
down at them. He didn’t think she’d actually speak to him, but she
did.
“Little late for breakfast isn’t it?” she
asked.
“Yeah,” he didn’t know what to say to her. He’d never
expected her to talk to him. Now he felt caged, defensive. He hadn’t meant
to insult her the night before, and he hadn’t wanted her to
leave…
The door chime went off again, and he quickly looked in the
direction of it, hoping she would have to go and wait on whoever
entered.
Max.
Max?
“Michael,” Max said,
cocking his head slightly to the side and approaching
him.
“Max?”
“In the flesh,” Max said as he sat down next to
him, studying his face.
“Do you want me to go tell her you’re
here?” Maria asked Max softly.
Michael glanced up at her. She
certainly wasn’t looking Max in the eye today.
“Oh, hello again,”
Max smiled, “uh, sure.”
She nodded and walked toward the
kitchen.
“What’s going on?” Michael asked.
“I told you, I’ve
got a date. With Liz.”
Michael narrowed his eyes but didn’t say
anything. Max’s look was slightly amused, but slightly defensive,
obviously he didn’t want to hear anything about it, so Michael decided to
let it go. He had other things to think about.
“Michael,” Max said
after a few moments of silence, “aren’t you going to say
anything?”
Furrowing his brow, Michael looked at him, “I didn’t
think you wanted to talk about it. Date the waitress. I don’t really
care.”
Max shook his head slightly as though confused, “No,
Michael. I mean about Isabel.”
Isabel. He’d completely forgotten.
Well, no he hadn't forgotten, but...
“Uh…” he
stammered.
Max was looking at him as though he’d sprouted horns,
“Don’t you have a few choice words to say about it?”
Michael
tensed, “Well, of course I do. Just no point in saying anything to
you.”
“Max!” Liz’s voice sounded from the door to the kitchen. She
was dressed in jeans and a sweater, and wearing the biggest grin Michael
had ever seen. Maria walked out after her and moved behind the
counter.
Smiling, Max walked over to her, “Liz. You look
wonderful.”
Liz made an ‘aw shucks’ face, and said, “So do
you.”
Michael wanted to puke. This was so wrong, on so many
levels.
“Shall we?” Max asked her.
“Oh, of course,” she
said, glancing at Maria as Max stepped aside so that she could walk to the
door.
As Liz passed him, Michael noticed she was carrying an
overnight bag. Max gave him a wave and followed her out the
door.
Feeling like it was a little too weird to see Max with
another girl, Michael turned back to his coffee shaking his head in
disbelief. He saw that she was staring out the window, watching the pair
get into Max’s car.
“Why did she have an overnight bag?” as soon as
he asked the question, he was shocked. What was he doing, making small
talk?
Still staring out the window, she bit her lower lip and
raised her eyebrows while she sucked in a long breath, “They’re going to
his ‘cabin’ on Orcas Island.”
He smirked, “In
November.”
“Apparently.”
“For a first date.”
She
shrugged.
Max. What a dope.
***
He was waiting for
her when she walked out the door after her shift that night. She was
startled and stopped to stare for a moment when he came to stand by her
side. The expression on his face was unreadable, and she wasn’t sure what
he wanted. Did he think there was going to be a repeat of last night? No,
probably not. Maybe he wanted to talk. She wasn’t really ready for
that.
To avoid an awkward confrontation, she looked down at her
shoes and started walking home. He fell into step beside her. After the
first block, she stopped to look up at him. He stopped and looked down at
her, studying her. His brown eyes were piercing, and she had the feeling
that he was trying to figure something out.
Finally, after a few
seconds of staring at one another, she’d started walking again, and he’d
walked with her. His hands in the pockets of his jacket, jaw clenched. She
glanced up at him occasionally, just the sight of him was starting to make
her melt. He looked tough, like the kind of guy who wasn’t touched by
anything. The kind of guy who didn’t need anything from
anybody.
When they reached her building, he stopped at the bottom
of the steps and watched her as she entered. She unlocked the door and
pulled it open, but paused before entering. Of course, she should tell him
thank you, or something. Looking back at him, she wished she knew what to
say, but she didn’t. There was no explanation for his actions, and she
didn’t even want to guess. It probably didn’t mean anything. She watched
him for a moment, then turned and walked inside.
***
“Yeah?”
he said into the phone, using his shoulder to hold it against his
ear.
“Michael?”
“Hey, Tess,” he said as he moved the brush
to create the curve of a hip on the canvas.
“How’s it
going?”
“Fine. You?”
“Oh, I’m all right. You know,
adjusting.”
“Yeah,” he replied distractedly as he used his fingers
to smudge a shadow on the thigh.
“Um, listen, did you happen to get
an invitation in the mail?”
He glanced out into the living room at
the collection of ivory colored cards and envelops spread out on his
coffee table, “Yeah, I got one.”
“I didn’t know they were planning
to do it this soon.”
“Well, they’re on a time crunch,” he snorted
as he closely examined the line of the calf where it met a delicate
ankle.
“A time crunch?”
“Yeah, a shotgun created time
crunch.”
“Oh my God. Are you serious?” her voice was
incredulous.
“As a heart attack.”
“Who told
you?”
“She did, last Thursday.”
“Oh. Well, are you gonna’
go?”
“Not if I can help it. Are you?”
“No. I talked to Max a
couple of days ago, though. We’re on good terms, but I don’t know if I’m
ready for that.”
“Well, that’s understandable. Not everybody moves
on five minutes later,” he said sarcastically.
“I know he’s dating
someone, Michael. He told me.”
“And you’re ok with that?” he asked,
wondering how she possibly could be. It hadn’t even been a
month.
“I had a date last night, actually,” she said sounding
amused.
He let the hand holding the brush drop to his side and
brought the other up to grasp the phone, “How? Don’t you need more
time?”
She sighed, “Well, I probably should take more time, but I
don’t really feel like I need to. I think things were over between us for
a long time.”
“So, why did he propose?”
“He told you? Well,
I think it was because there just wasn’t anything else left to
do.”
“That’s insane.”
“I know. That’s what it took for me to
finally realize, though. We probably should never have been more than
friends. Now that I look back on it, I don’t think we were ever really
passionate about each other, it just felt comfortable and easy. We loved
each other, just not in the right way.”
“Yeah, well, love is
b*llsh*t,” he said, picking up the smaller brush and dipping it into the
green paint.
“Michael, that’s ridiculous. I don’t know how you can
say that you don’t believe in love.”
“I don’t. It doesn’t exist.
Everything is hormones. Lust, you know...” he let his voice trail off as
put his final touches on the eyes.
She laughed, “You just keep
telling yourself that. It’ll get you someday.”
“I’d like to see it
try,” he said with a smile.
“Well, I guess I’ll see you soon. I
think I’ll send in my RSVP and say I’ll be visiting relatives out of town
for Christmas.”
“Yeah, maybe I’ll do that too.”
“Michael,
you always spend Christmas with their family.”
“Oh yeah. That won’t
work then. Have to think of something else.”
She giggled, “Ok,
well, good luck with your search for an excuse.”
“Thanks.
Bye.”
“Bye.”
He tossed the phone onto his worktable and
stood back to look at the piece on the wall. The hair wasn’t quite the
right tone, but he was happy with the rest of it. When the hair color was
right, this would make the fourth this week, and it was only
Wednesday.
***
Maria watched Liz and Max as sat facing each
other in the booth, wrapped up in a heated conversation. They looked so
intently at one another, as if there were no one else in the world. She
knew she should go over and warm up their coffee cups, but didn’t want to
interrupt, so instead she watched from behind the counter.
The
chime sounded as the door opened, and she straightened up when she saw him
come in. Her stomach flip-flopped slightly, as it was now in the habit of
doing, and she felt goose bumps break out on her arms. It was five minutes
‘til her shift was over, and she’d been expecting him.
He looked
over at the booth, and nodded at Liz and Max. Max motioned for him to come
over, but he shook his head as he moved to the counter. His friend just
shrugged and turned back to the brunette in front of him.
She put a
coffee cup down in front of him and filled it. He watched her as she
replaced the pot and quickly wiped off the counter. The clock read two
minutes to nine, so she went into the backroom to get her coat, then
stopped off briefly in the bathroom to glance at herself in the mirror.
How good did she expect to look after working all day? Smoothing her hair
quickly, she walked out into the dining room and waved at Max and Liz.
They both looked up for a minute to wave goodbye, then continued their
conversation.
Michael met her at the door and they walked outside.
It was cold, and the wind forced the light rain to sting her cheeks. He
looked up at the sky then down at her.
“We could take my
car.”
She was surprised to hear him speak. They hadn’t spoken to
each other for…well, she couldn’t really remember when they spoke last.
Last Friday? It was Wednesday now. He was walking in the direction of his
vehicle, not really waiting for her answer, so she simply followed him. If
it weren’t for the stinging rain she’d tell him to forget it, but it would
be nice not to have to spend five minutes out in the freezing
cold…
Maria opened the passenger door and climbed in. He turned the
heater on high, and it blew cold for a few seconds, then started to warm
up as he pulled away from the curb. She reached her fingers out and placed
them in front of one of the vents, flexing them to help keep them
warm.
When he pulled to a stop in front of her building, she
clutched her purse and turned to open the door, but suddenly she heard the
automatic locks click. She tried the handle, and as she suspected it
didn’t open. Turning to face him, she opened her mouth to speak, but he
beat her to it.
“I didn’t mean it like that, you know,” he said,
both hands on the wheel, staring straight out in front of him.
She
stared at him. Huh?
“You were running, and I didn’t know…well, I
was just trying…you know, to be…” he lifted his hands off the wheel and
turned his palms upward in a gesture of helplessness as he turned to look
at her.
Looking at him for a second, she took a deep breath, then
turned to study the electronic controls on her door panel. She pushed the
one with a picture of an open padlock next to it and then pulled on the
door handle, and as she stepped onto the sidewalk, she turned back to him,
“Thanks for the ride.”
Without a backward glance, she shut the car
door and climbed the steps of her building, jamming her key in the lock
and opening the door. The one thing she did not want to discuss with him
was the ‘payment for services rendered’ moment.
“I’m home,” she
said as she opened the apartment door.
“Aunt Maria!” Abby’s voice
called from down the hall. “Daddy won’t let me have another bed time
story.”
Maria walked down the hall and stood in Abby’s doorway.
Kyle was propped up on his crutches at the foot of his daughter’s bed, and
his voice sounded weary, “You have to go to sleep.”
“Do I
have to Auntie Maria?” she whined, her big eyes hoping for some sort of
over-rule.
“Yep. If your Dad says so,” Maria smiled and went to
place a kiss on the little girl’s forehead.
“Night-night, kiddo,”
Kyle said as he hobbled out the door.
Following him into the hall,
Maria switched off the light and blew Abby a kiss.
“Tough night?”
she asked.
“Yeah…” he said distractedly as he lowered himself into
the seat in front of his computer.
“You leaving her with Serena
tomorrow, or are you taking her with you?”
“Oh, I’m taking her with
me. She likes to go to the daycare at least once a week. They’ve got that
playground, you know…”
“Yeah, I know. It’s all she ever talks
about,” Maria laughed. The physical therapy clinic was in a large medical
building, and offered free childcare during patient’s
appointments.
Kyle pointed to a stack of magazines on the floor by
the sofa, “Mrs. Sonenstein brought you her old magazines.”
“Oooh,
good,” Maria smiled. She’d always been an avid magazine reader. Of course,
Mrs. Sonenstein read only one thing that she was really interested in. “I
think I’m gonna’ take a long bath and curl up with the last two months
worth of People.”
Kyle laughed out loud, and she smiled at him. It
was good to hear. She quickly sorted through the stack for the magazines
she wanted and stopped off in her bedroom for some clothes before locking
herself in the bathroom. The tub filled quickly, and she gratefully
lowered herself into the water with a sigh. Only rarely did she take a
bath anymore, there just wasn’t time.
Flipping through one of the
issues, she noticed a familiar face staring back from one of the pages.
She was so stunned that she accidentally let the magazine fall into the
water. Quickly retrieving it, she stared at the page.
‘Prominent
Seattle artist, Michael Guerin, backstage at a recent benefit
concert.’
Artist. She’d seen the studio in the corner, it was
obvious what he did, but somehow she’d never put together that he must be
good (and famous) to be earning that kind of money. Standing up quickly,
she had to brace herself against the tile wall to keep from falling.
Quickly, she dried and dressed. The magazine was still resting on the edge
of the tub, and she grabbed it and threw it into the wastebasket next to
the toilet.
***
Michael flopped down onto his bed and stared
up at the ceiling. So, it hadn’t gone well. He shouldn’t have tried to
apologize. No matter how hard he tried, he never could guess how she would
react to something. She’d run again, but thanked him sincerely for the
ride, so apparently she wasn’t angry.
He rubbed his eyebrow and
tried not to think about it. The phone rang, and he ran downstairs to grab
it, expecting it to be Tess again.
“Yeah?” he said into the
receiver.
“Michael, it’s me.”
He really needed to get that
caller ID thing.
“Isabel.”
“I just wanted to make sure you
got your invitation.”
“Uh, yeah, I got it,” he said trying to keep
his voice even. Her voice always seemed to put him on edge, even if he did
feel a little guilty about the way he’d treated her...
“Oh good.
Well, I know you’ll never remember to send your RSVP card, so I’ll just
mark you down on the definite list.”
“Iz…” he was getting
angry.
“Michael, I don’t want to hear it. You have to be there, it
wouldn’t be the same without you.”
“You just want me there so that
you can convince yourself that your past is resolved and you’re blameless,
so you can move on with a clear conscience.”
“Yes,” she said
softly, “that is exactly why I want you there. Will you
come?”
Well, that was a new tactic. She’d never admitted to
anything like that before. He was taken off guard.
“Yeah, I
guess…”
He could hear the smile in her voice, “Thank you. I’m so
happy. Will it just be you, or should I mark ‘and guest’?”
Damn. A
date? He didn’t want to have to go with some mindless bimbo. Then again,
he couldn’t very well go alone…
“I’ll be ‘and guest’,” he said as
coolly as possible.
“Ok,” she said, “so if I don’t see you
before…”
“Yeah, bye.”
He clicked off the phone and mentally
kicked himself for not finding a way out of it.