I don’t like this place. I just don’t.

She left me here. Can you believe it?

She just stormed off and left me here.

I will not cry though. I am a grown up now.

I’m not a little kitten who cries and whines anymore.

I’m strong. Tough. Masculine.

“Mr. Pickles? Where the hell are you?”

Ugh! He’s hollering again. I hate him sometimes.

And I really hate that name!

I climb on the old brown couch and tell him to go to hell. He just smiles.

Idiot.

“What were you doing there little fellow?”

I tell him I was peeing on his socks and he smiles at me again.

Such a moron.

“You hungry?”

Of course I am. But did the moron ever think of going shopping?

“Uh-oh…”

Exactly my point.

His eyebrows knit together and he looks at me hard, appearing to be deep in thought.

I snort. As if he can do that.

“I know! Let’s go shopping!” he says with fake enthusiasm and I can only shake my head.

He’s hopeless.

He starts getting dressed, smelling the shirts on the floor one by one--as if it’s possible to find a remotely clean one.

The place smells disgusting.

I don’t think he’s capable of doing the laundry on his own. I could have helped him, but the idiot would probably drop me in the machine too.

I don’t trust him.

He picks me up and puts me in his coat pocket.

Oh, God. I hope I won’t die here.

So degrading.

***


We’re at the supermarket; I can tell from the smells.

I try to poke my head out of the pocket, but all the garbage and wrappers here make it hard for me to stand up properly.

But I want to choose my own food, dammit! I need to choose my own food. The idiot here would probably buy a can of peas if I let him choose.

I claw my way up and push the cloth out of my face to reach fresh air.

Thank goodness!

Argh, the lights are too bright.

Or maybe living like a bat in that stupid apartment of his with the shades drawn for a week damaged my eye sight.

She used to take me out to park everyday.

God, I miss her!

We’re already at the right section. Surprising, how he managed that on his own.

He looks down at me and I recoil for a moment; he looks so strange in the white light.

He has a beard. Looks weird if you ask me.

And his eyes are all bloodshot.

I cringe. He definitely needs a haircut.

“I see you’re enjoying the ride?” he says, and I feel like biting him.

Oblivious as always, “So, which one?” he asks, holding two cans in front of me.

I hate it that I can’t smell what’s in them, but thankfully I remember the one she bought me.

I lick the yellow one.

Eww. I hate the way metal tastes.

“Ooo-kay,” he says and puts it in the basket.

He moves towards another isle and I smell something.

I push myself further up, clutching the worn fabric of his coat with my claws.

I know this smell.

Flowery. Sweet. Familiar.

How do I know it?

Oh. Oh. Oh. I panic.

It’s her! Her smell, I know it’s her smell!

I yell at him. Look around moron, she’s here!

He looks down at me like the idiot that he is while I struggle to spot her familiar sunshine hair.

“What’s wrong with you now? Why are you¯”

He stops talking abruptly.

Yes! Yes, you moron! Her smell!

He looks around, moving frantically, and I hold back the urge to throw up at his sudden movements. It’s all for a good cause, I tell myself.

Then he stops suddenly and all his body tenses.

Is that good? I’m not sure.

Then I see her. The origin of the smell walks right past us.

But it’s the wrong girl.

I want to cry.

And judging from his smell, he does too.

He sharply turns around and walks toward the freezers.

I try to bite his hand but I can’t quite reach that far, so I settle on yelling at him.

It’s all your fault! She loves me! She wouldn’t have left me if you hadn’t done something to her!

You ruined both of our lives! I hate you! I hate you!

He jerks open a door and starts filling the basket with bottles.

I know those bottles. I hate the way they smell. She hates the way they smell.

I start thrashing about in his pocket.

Are you trying to get her even more pissed, you idiot?!

He really has no brain, I’m telling you. First, he let that disgusting woman in the house, now he’s buying things she hates.

I’m going to bite him so hard; they will hear his scream from all the way to--uhm… somewhere really far.

He shuts the door and rests his head against the cold glass.

I wonder why he does that. I mean cold things can burn pretty bad; she told me that once when I tried licking an ice cube. I wonder why she never told him.

But she probably did and he forgot it, the idiot.

I inhale deeply and sigh. Lots of interesting smells tickle my nose; cherries, fish, biscuits and…

Oh, not again!

I don’t know who is that person wearing her smell, but I am sick of this thing.

I turn around to see if I can bite the impostor, but this time it’s her.

The real girl. Not the impostor. My girl.

She has sunshine hair, and I bet her hands are still soft.

She is standing there, looking at us blankly.

I need to do something.

I let out a scream.

He picks me up without removing his forehead from the glass and I wish not for the first time for bigger claws.

Move, dammit! Behind you!

“Look Pickles,”

God, I hate that name.

“--I know you miss her, but you can’t get all psychopath on me whenever there’s someone with her perfume around. That’s a pretty cheap perfume. I should know; I bought it for her…”

He’s looking down at me with those big, sad, emotional eyes of his but no matter how much I like his eyes, right now, I feel like peeing on him.

“--It was all my fault and I don’t blame you for hating me, but there is no going back now. I am an idiot, but right now, I’m all you got, OK?”

It is NOT okay! It won’t be okay until she is there; you know that!!!

I bite his finger and realize with satisfaction that I drew blood.

He flinches, and… Oooh, he’s angry now.

Hollering will start any minute now.

“Look! I fucked up; I know that. I love her and God knows I miss her too, but you don’t see me going around biting people! We’ll just have to learn to deal with it!”

He takes a deep breath and shakes his head. He puts me back in his pocket.

I look back teary eyed at where she was standing, but there’s no sign of her anymore.

***


The world is upside down.

It’s pretty funny actually. Even though it is kind of nauseating.

I might just puke. Again.

It’s just as well. We will have to get rid of the carpet anyway.

I don’t know why I never considered lying on my back before. My stomach feels so… cool.

And it’s really entertaining to see everything the other way around.

When they are not spinning of course--that is just wrong.

“I didn’t, you know…”

Ah, he’s still awake. I swear he looked dead a moment ago.

Didn’t what, my moron flat mate?

“I didn’t cheat on her…”

I try to raise my eyebrow, but then remember that I don’t actually have one.

You smelled like that almost-green haired bimbo, you sneaking bastard.

“I would never cheat on her. She’s the--hick!--most prettiest girl I’ve ever seen.”

Damn right she is!

“And I still get butterflies when she kisses me…”

Yeah, me too.

“I have no idea what she was doing with me in the first place.”

Yes, I must admit; I thought about that a lot too.

“I fucked up, Pickles…” He sighs. “I really fucked up.”

I don’t even bother nodding. He knows I agree.

I look around for more of that awful smelling, yellow thing. It’s not half bad after a lick or two.

“I’m soo in love with her.” He whimpers. “God, I’m so screwed.”

“Are you, really?” comes a clear voice from the door.

I try to lift my head but it falls back down.

I hear footsteps, but all I see is my idiot companion’s face. He looks like dead fish; I doubt he would taste as good.

He nods. “You left us.”

“I did.”

“And I’ll never be able to kiss you again…”

“Not while you smell like this, no.”

He looks down at me and I can see he has no clue what he’s talking about or with whom. I really wish I could help him--that is my future he’s holding in his hands--but I can’t even move my tail.

Now I can see her. She is kneeling in front of him, her hair shining in the flickering lights of the TV.

“I did not cheat on you,” he says softly.

“So, you say,” she mumbles.

I can’t help but snicker as his hand falls down three times on its way to her cheek.

God, he is pathetic!

Finally she reaches and guides his hand.

“Do you love me?” she whispers and even I can feel the tension.

“Mm-hmm,” he mumbles as he nods, his eyes tightly shut.

Coward.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Cause I’m a coward?”

Huh! Told you!

“Okay,” she breathes out and both our eyes open wide with hope.

She straddles his thighs and hugs him tightly. “I can deal with just coward. ”

I want to be hugged too, but really, I can’t be bothered to walk aaall the way there. The world is spinning dangerously fast.

“Let’s get you cleaned up,” she says and they walk out of the room, leaving me there, in peaceful silence.

The carpet is too hard and my paws look really stupid up in the air like that.

But she’s here, so I don’t need to worry anymore. Things will be okay; she will fix us.

I just need to find myself some creative place to hide for when she sees the state of her carpet.

I yawn. I love my life, I really do.

Of course that is when all the furniture is the right way up and not spinning like lunatics around me…

Well, you know what I mean.

The End