PART 13



Maria was a deep sleeper. She never ever woke up for anything. Even when she had nightmares or visited unkind places such as her big, bad castle, she had always slept through the night. But that night she just woke up. Yeah, just like that. Not a noise or a light to disturb her, but she woke up. As if Fate had decided that she didn’t have enough for one day…


Her eyes snapped open in the darkness of her room. For a moment she looked around, expecting it to be another dream. She suspected being in the castle again for a minute, but it was warm. Castle was never warm.


Her eyes caught the alien shaped clock on the wall, she yawned. What the hell was she doing awake at this hour? Her bed was comfy and warm… Hmmm… Sleepy. She was sleepy. But something bothered her inside, like something wasn’t right.


It was the air. It felt different. Wrong. She told herself that she was getting worked up over nothing, but had to get up when he heard Kyle’s voice coming from the living room.


“I know what time it is. This is important.”


She could hear the irritation in his voice and definitely the alcohol. She hoped he wasn’t getting drunk and stalking Lucy.


She opened her door slowly, careful not to make a noise, and tiptoed over to the living room. The lights were still on and Kyle was on the phone with his back to her.


“Isabel just wake up and listen to me for a second, okay?”


Maria flinched at the name. Isabel? Isabel Evans? What the hell was going on?


“No, Guerin gave me this number.”


Michael? Maria’s heart started to pound in her chest. She felt her knees get weak suddenly. Temperature was definitely intolerable in the room. She cursed herself for being the idiot that she was. His name was echoing in her head. A warmth spread over her stomach. The feeling matched the one she felt every time she saw his t-shirt she borrowed, but times three billion.


“I want you to tell that bastard to come and see me as soon as possible or I will find him and it won't be pretty.”


Maria watched Kyle pause and listen for a moment. His anger was evident from his posture, all guarded and tense.


“I don’t care. He told me to call you if anything happened. And guess what? Something did! Now do your voodoo trick and find him!”


Maria felt her body go numb. There was a burning knot in her throat. She could taste the poison starting to flow into her blood. Betrayal… Her mind went numb.


Kyle chuckled softly. “Don’t be angry with me Isabel. It’s all that a-sshole’s fault. Now be a good girl and invade his dreams, okay? Yeah. Okay. Good night!”


Kyle slowly put the phone down and turned around to face a very pissed Maria. He jumped at the unexpected sight and cursed under his breath when the realization hit him. S-hit! That was bad! Real bad!


Maria glared at him with barely contained anger. She wanted her voice to come out in an even tone but shouted instead. Oh well, he’d deserved it. “How long have this been going on?”


Kyle avoided her eyes and was studying the living room carpet. He got carried away for a moment and found himself approving the choice in colors. It really matched the character of the room. Then he mentally shook himself. Not a good time to play interior decorator. He was definitely spending too much time with Tom. That guy was contagious.


His gaze found Maria’s and he realized that she was expecting an answer. What the hell was the question? “Uh… Nice carpet.” He said absentmindedly.


“WHAT?!?” Maria could feel her face burning. Betrayal was something she couldn’t cope well with. And betrayal from someone she called family was her nightmares coming true. All she could see was her father’s lying face as he had told her that he was going to Europe on vacation.


She closed her eyes, she was feeling dizzy. She felt her knees get weak suddenly and two strong arms caught her before she collapsed. Kyle placed her on the couch and smoothed her hair.


“It’s okay. I’m sorry. I’ll explain everything. But… please… shout at me all you want, but don’t do this to yourself! Come on sis! Hit me if you’ll feel better.”


Maria opened her eyes and looked at his worried expression. Her face softened at the sight. This was Kyle! Her goofy, macho almost-brother. This was the same guy that ate fish food to make her laugh. He wouldn’t hurt her. No. She refused to believe it!


She punched his chin with all her might and sat back on the couch.


“Ow! S-hit! That hurt!!! God dammit Ria!”


She smiled and made herself comfortable on the couch. “I feel better already…”


Kyle sat near her rubbing his chin, but kept his distance. Can't be too careful, right?


Maria sighed and spat out the questions which she wasn’t sure that she wanted answered. She gazed directly in his eyes, trapping him and refusing to be lied.


“Now, Kyle, explain to me why you lied to me for a damn month and what the hell that phone call meant? And don’t you dare lie to me or I’ll beat the s-hit out of you.”


Kyle rolled his eyes in order to not look scared, but he was sure she would do what she promised. “I didn’t exactly lie to you. I just didn’t tell you everything…”


“And why is that?” Her voice was sarcastic and her look said she wasn’t buying any of his crap.


“You didn’t want to talk about them, so I didn’t know how to tell you. I don’t know, it never came up.”


“Oh, what you mean is, you were too chicken to talk about it! Cause it would have caused other questions. Am I right, Kyle? Other questions such as WHY THE HELL ARE YOU HERE?”


Kyle winced at her shouting voice and the well-hidden pain beneath it. He had never wanted to hurt her. He cursed himself. Stupid! Stupid!


“Look Ria calm down! Michael asked me to come, okay? He said that I needed to take care of you, so I came.”


He watched her face as emotions passed through. Anger, happiness, excitement, anger, confusion, anger… Finally a tired expression covered her features. And she sank deeper into the pillows on the couch. She looked small suddenly. Too fragile.


“Why?” Her voice was small and almost inaudible. “Why did he send you here?”


“I don’t know. That’s why I'm trying to reach him. I’ll kick his worthless ass when I find him!” Kyle was pacing the room furiously, anger taking him over again.


Maria felt her defenses rise at the word. Worthless. Michael hated that word. Hank used that a lot. “Don’t call him that!” She was angry at him. She sometimes almost hated him. But that didn’t change the fact that she would protect him at all costs.


Kyle threw her an exasperated look. “What is the deal with you guys? I am thrown into this thing and I have no idea what is going on! I have been waiting for a month. But do I get an explanation? Of course not! God! I hate all aliens!”


Maria watched him grumble and decided to interfere since he showed no sign of stopping anytime soon.


“Look, Kyle… You tell me your part of the story, then I’ll tell you what I know. Maybe we can piece them together or something, okay?”


Kyle mumbled something which Maria took as a positive answer. He sat on the carpet, leaning against the wall and took a deep breath.


“He’s not really my friend, you know, Guerin…” He raised his eyes to meet hers, just to find her eager to listen to him talk about the man who had f-ucked up her psych. Women. He could never understand them.


“But I kinda grew to respect him, I don’t really know why. He came to me the day after the wedding and told me that you had found out about them. He said they were leaving town for some time and someone needed to make sure you were okay.”


Maria looked unsatisfied. “And you didn’t ask him why?”


“Well, Maria, Guerin isn't the most talkative of people. He talks briefly and usually doesn’t let you ask anything.” Kyle sighed. He was angry at himself that he hadn’t asked him more questions. He could be really stupid at times.


“I asked him where they were going though.” Maria’s eyebrows raised in anticipation. “They didn’t have an evident direction. He said they would be on the road till they got rid of the ones that were after them. I asked who and why. He didn’t really answer me. He mumbled something about the baby and Liz and other aliens. I didn’t really want to know. You know, I got into a lot of trouble because of my curiosity about aliens. I nearly died once. It’s not pretty to get mixed up with them.”


Maria wanted to ask him twenty million questions. Finally, someone to talk to about this oh-so-secret alien crap! But she couldn’t voice any of them before Kyle continued talking.


“I assumed you needed protection, you know, from other aliens. God! I prepared for a battle. I even bought some guns from a friend of dad’s here. But apparently there’s noone attacking you. So I have no f-ucking clue why I'm here.” Kyle combed his hair with his hand. Bad habit. It always gave away his fear.


“You have a gun? In my house?” Maria shrieked. She hated guns. But then a picture of the big, bad, alien guy flashed through her mind and she thought better of it. She calmed down and tried to make sense of what she had found out.


“And you just came with one word from Michael? Not even asking for an explanation?”


Kyle’s head shot up in surprise at her words. “Of course I came! What did you think I would do? Leave you alone in that alien s-hit? Look, Ria, this is dangerous stuff. It had been a long time since they were last attacked, but they are like trouble magnets. And Michael looked pretty serious. He even offered to pay me for it! Bastard.”


He expected Maria to flare up again at the bastard comment but she looked like she agreed that. Women!


“He told me to not tell you that he had sent me. And when I came, you seemed like you didn’t want to hear anything about them, so I didn’t know how to tell you.”


He searched her eyes to see if she still had that betrayed look. She looked softer and hopeful. “I'm sorry Ria. I really didn’t mean to betray your trust. I just really suck at that women and emotions thing. I didn’t want to hurt you.”


Maria smiled and getting up from the couch, hugged him tight. She put her head on his shoulder, feeling relieved. “It’s okay Kyle, it’s okay…” Then she prepared herself to tell him her side of the story.


- - -


Max watched him from a distance. He was sitting on a rock, on the side of the small road they had been following, staring at his hands.


He was quiet. He had always been quiet but this was somehow different. He wasn’t as hostile as he used to be. He didn’t make his usual snide remarks, he didn’t blame him over Liz’s pregnancy and their current situation. Max found it pretty funny to worry over his good behavior but did nonetheless. It was unusual. Unsettling.


He suspected it being connected to Maria somehow but couldn’t complete the connection. He had asked him about her, but Michael had shut him up with his firm voice and threatening eyes.


It was when they had first decided to leave Roswell. The day after the wedding. Max had asked him if they could trust her. He hadn’t wanted to worry about that to top all their problems. Michael’s answer had been short and final. They were going to leave her alone and she wouldn’t talk. Then he’d said Maria had left town already and that had worried Max even more. But looking at Michael, he couldn’t dare ask again. Was she really trustworthy?


Liz knew Maria best. At least she had known her once. And Liz had said Maria would do anything for her friends. She was talkative but loyal. But Liz had been scared that they hadn't been really in friendly terms before she’d left.


So Max kept quiet. Not sure of what else to do except trust Michael about it. But hadn’t his weird behavior started with that same girl? That night, he’d seen Michael protect a girl -a human girl- against them. His supposed friends. It was confusing to say the least. He would think that there was something between them if he hadn’t known better.


But he knew better. He knew Michael didn’t like people. He didn’t like people, especially humans, invading his privacy. He didn’t like them touch him. He didn’t like to get emotional or attached. But wasn’t trust an emotion? It was. And it was a strong one at that.


Max held on to his prejudices about Michael, but he did have his doubts.


- - -


Michael wasn’t sure how long they had been traveling. Time was a hard thing to keep track of. Days were passing without him realizing. He was living in a sort of dream state. Suddenly all his life was one long day that didn’t end.


He was driving mostly. It kept him busy. Busy was good. It kept his mind from wandering. It kept him sane.


There wasn’t a specific direction they were heading. He figured as long as they kept moving they would be safe. Max just nodded his head in agreement to that. He really sucked at making decisions. So they just kept going. Only stopping for food and an occasional shower. Pretty girl Liz didn’t really care about her stinking status when her life was in danger.


Michael was sleeping longer than usual lately. He’d told Max that driving tired his eyes, but he knew it wasn’t that. It was the dreams. He was still dreaming her memories. Something was different though. The ones he’d seen before that night were her memories before they met. Her past. He suspected he’d gotten those when he’d first connected her. But now he kept seeing himself and their time together in Roswell.


It had hurt at first. But in time he’d learned to live the dreams. When he didn’t let himself know that it was a dream, it almost felt real. And he felt good. So he slept more and got to know her better every passing night.


He was addicted. It was addictive to lose himself in her. To see himself through her eyes. To pretend he was that man she saw when she looked at him. To dream what being that man would be like. He was addicted and there was no cure. No way out. He was trapped in her… deeper every day. And he was glad.


He studied his hands for the first time in his life. That had been last night’s dream. His hands. It was the time when Amy made him repair her small radio which she used in her store. Apparently Maria had sat there pretending to read a newspaper and watched his hands. Every move. Every curve. Every line. For hours. And she had loved them. Why? He had no idea.


She was weird. Unpredictable. That was why he never got bored around her. But there was this other part as well. Getting to know her and her routines fascinated him as well. He enjoyed listening to her sing in the shower every morning. And watching her brush her hair every night before she slept. And smelling her scent in the rooms long after she’d left. And seeing her smile the first thing when she woke up every day. Yeah, the routines weren't bad as well.


So, that was how it worked. He had never understood that spending your life with someone thing. It seemed impossible and stupid. Noone seemed to do it anymore anyway. But now, he could see himself growing old with her. He was sure it would be more interesting and better with every passing day. If only he had been that man. If only he could have been more. If only…


- - -


Max chose to approach his life-long friend at that very moment, making Michael wonder what was it with Max and bad timing. He was uneasy. Michael usually just shooed him away with some rude comment. However Max had no choice but to try and try again. He wasn’t about to give up or get more creative.


“Hey.” Michael grunted something like a greeting and kept staring at his hands.


Max shifted his weight from foot to foot and thought of something -anything- to say. And blurted out the first sentence he came to form. “What's wrong?” Not too bad, he mentally patted himself in the back.


“Nothing.”


Of course. What was he thinking? Michael would never answer a question that vague. He needed to get specific. So he took a risk.


“Is it about Maria?”


Uh-huh! Now he was caught. His head shot up at her name. There was something about Maria. Michael’s eyes became alive and curious and scaringly protective and wild.


“What about Maria?”


His tone was ice-cold and he looked like he would bite Max’s head off if he said something wrong. But what was wrong to say? Something bad about Maria? Or anything about Maria?


Max took another big risk and bluffed with nothing in his hands. He hoped it wasn’t a death wish. He tried to keep an even voice while talking and sat on his slightly trembling hands.


“I know there is something between you two. I can guess its nature. Or you can tell me?”


Michael was guarded more than normal. Max could see his muscles clenching. But he could also see the weariness in his features. He was tired, even if it was only mentally.


Michael sighed, unable to fight back full force. “What do you wanna know Maxwell and why exactly do you want to know it?”


Max could get up and dance around with happiness. Michael was talking, even if it was annoyedly. He was responding without barking at him to butt out. He gathered all his strength for the conversation of the century.


“I am your friend and family, even if you choose to ignore me. I may have made mistakes but I still worry. And I still care. So I want to know what's happening in your life. If it’s okay with you?”


Michael didn’t want to talk. He was tired. Too tired to argue and too tired to have the heartfelt conversation he knew Max wanted to have since like forever.


“Max I’m really not in the mood…”


Max cut him off mid-sentence. “Michael, you’re never in the mood. I just want to know what she means to you.”


Now Michael was officially pissed. Max was pushing it. “You really wanna know Maxwell? You really think you can handle the truth? She means everything to me. She makes me want to buy a stupid house with a hammock in the backyard and marry her and have as many kids as we can! Is that satisfying for you?”


Max was about to have a heart attack because of his fear. A shouting Michael was scary. Not just in a normal shouting people kind of scary but more in a Freddy Krueger kind of scary. But when the first shock wore off he couldn’t stop his grin.


“Really?”


“Yeah really.” Michael said sarcastically. Not feeling least bit embarrassed though he had thought he would. Wow. He wondered when exactly had he stopped to care about what Max was thinking.


“Then I guess you should get started.” Max suggested, cutting off Michael’s thoughts.


“Start what?”


Max shrugged. “Buy a house.”


Michael knew Max would -of course- miss the point there. Buy a house, real clever. Like he couldn’t think of that. “Not gonna happen.” He retorted.


“Why?” Max was really curious and he was hoping he could get some reasons before Michael closed up again.


“Are you really that dense Maxwell?” Michael looked at him like he really expected him to admit he was.


“What? Is it because of the never coming spaceship? You can't give up your dreams?”


Michael decided he really was dense. “I can give up my dreams. I can sacrifice anything I want. That won't make me a better man. I don’t have any right to corrupt something that bright and beautiful. You think it would be fair to drag her into all this? What is she gonna do when she gets pregnant? Take a f-ucking world tour?”


Max watched his brother in wonder. Had they really known Michael Guerin? Suddenly he wanted to know him more than ever. “I think you should let her decide that. Liz decided for herself. She knew what she was getting herself into. And she never said she regretted it.”


Michael offered Max a bitter smile. “I am not you Max.”


“What’s that supposed to mean?”


For Michael it had meant everything. But he offered Max the plain version of the explanation considering his dense status. “You’re the better man. The better alien. You really can't understand this.”


Max hated this the most. Michael’s despising attitude towards himself. “Make me understand Michael!”


“She is the light. And I am nothingness. Can you understand that? The darkness inside me can't be illuminated. If I stay close enough, long enough, I know the darkness will engulf her too. I can't let that happen. I won't let it happen.” Michael spat out the words, hating Max for making him voice them.


Max stood up from his place on the rock and gazed into Michael’s eyes. His voice was firm because he believed in what he was saying.


“You’re wrong Michael.”


Michael would have laughed at his words any other, time but in his eyes he saw what he never did before; a wise man, a leader, a king… And he almost believed him.

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