PART 11


“Now, close your eyes and imagine it.” Maria said in a soothing and relaxing tone.


“You can almost smell it. Taste it... Hmm... Can you tell me what it is now?”


Kyle was sitting on the carpet, his legs crossed and his eyes shut in concentration. He took a deep breath, exhaled slowly and announced his decision. “Chinese!”


Maria hopped off the couch and dashed for the phone. “All right, let’s eat Chinese!” The doorbell rang just as she dialled the numbers. “Kyle, you get it, it must be Tom.”


Kyle opened the door to reveal Tom in a business suit, clearly coming from work while Maria ordered enough food to feed an army. She had learned in the last couple of weeks that Kyle could eat like a small herd of rhinos and if you didn’t put enough food on his plate, yours would never be safe.


“So, Kylie babe, how’s it going?” Tom looked him up and down in a not so cheerful way. Kyle was wearing pyjama bottoms and a t-shirt, both of which he suspected hadn’t seen water or soap in a long time. His hair was a mess and you could see that he’d definitely missed shaving for the last week.


Kyle’s face contorted in irritation. “Stop calling me that! People will start thinking I’m your boyfriend or something! I haven’t had a date in ages, I don’t need this to top it all...”


Tom stayed nonchalant. “Which people Kyle? You don’t even leave the house, how do you suppose you can get a date when you never go out?”


“We do go out you know...” Kyle searched his memory for the last time they had gone out. “Last week we went out to buy the stinking thing that fish eats...”


“No, you didn’t. Mars called me and I bought it for her.”


“Oh, s-hit, really? You know it must be those incense things she burns around the house, they make my head fuzzy...” Kyle looked really confused. “Are you sure it was you?”


“Yeah, of course I’m sure.” Tom checked if Maria was still on the phone and lowered his tone. “Actually I need to talk to you about this. In private...” he motioned Maria with his eyebrows. “...when she’s not around.”


“About what?”


“About Mars not working, just moping around all day with you and about what happened in Roswell... I don’t know, I’m just worried about her.”


“What do you mean what happened in Roswell?” Kyle’s eyebrows were raised and his face resembled the one of a wild cat in a moment of danger.


“Enough with the bulls-hit Kyle! She doesn’t talk about it but obviously something happened. She is not herself! That woman is not the Maria I know!” Tom closed his eyes and tried to stay calm. He continued in an even tone with gritted teeth.


“Look, I just... I need your help. I know you care about her and I obviously do. So lets just not let her break apart okay? I’ve seen this happen before and it took her ages to pull herself back together last time. She can’t afford another one.”


He stopped abruptly and smiled a hollow smile when he noticed Maria coming their way. “We’ll talk later.” He muttered under his breath to Kyle and walked towards his pain-in-the-ass best friend.


- - -


Later in the evening Kyle and Tom were sitting in Maria’s living room surrounded by a million take out boxes, quietly waiting to hear the sound of the shower. Kyle was the first to talk when he heard Maria’s soft singing muffled by water.


“So what was it you wanted to talk about Tommy boy?”


Tom was concentrated too much to notice Kyle’s attempt to irritate him. He started pacing while he tried to gather his thoughts and find the quickest way to explain himself to Kyle.


“So…” he began finally stopping and looking at him. “Do you know what happened with Michael?”


Kyle tried not to look too curious and managed to shape his face in a half clueless expression. “Guerin? Something happened with Guerin?”


Tom looked suspicious because of the detective state he was in, but was convinced nonetheless. “Well, that bastard hurt her, but I don’t know how. She implied that she would decapitate me if I brought up the subject ever again so I think it was pretty bad.”


Kyle’s eyes flared in anger. “What do you mean hurt her? What the hell did he do to her?” Tom gestured for him to keep his voice down, but Kyle wasn’t having any of it. Tom had to thank god that Michael wasn’t around. It would be impossible to hold back a man with Kyle’s size and fury.


“Kyle, I know you want to kill him…” Kyle cut him in mid-sentence. “You have no idea. NO F-UCKING IDEA!!!” He was pacing furiously in the room now. His fists were clenching and Tom expected him to punch a wall any minute.


“Look Kyle, you can't do anything about him right now and even if you could, it wouldn’t do any good for Mars. Okay? Now calm down. We have to help her, get her out of this depression. Are you with me on this? Can I trust you to help me?”


Kyle shut his eyes, counted to ten and said “Okay. I’ll help you. What do we do?”


“Well, I figured we could start with getting her out of the house.” Tom suggested and Kyle’s eyes lit up.


“It’s easy…” Kyle said, excited that he had found the solution so easily. “That’s a guy problem, right?” Tom nodded tentatively. “Three easy steps. We’ll get her out, get her drunk, get her laid! She’ll forget all her troubles. It’s gonna be great!”


Kyle got up and ran inside to get dressed without even letting Tom comment on anything. Tom could hear him talking to Maria about it and then trying to pursuade her to come with them and then yelling at her to get dressed.


“This is such a bad idea…” Tom muttered to himself and went inside to help Kyle get Maria’s ass in a dress.


- - -


Once they convinced Maria to go out with them, she started to get in the mood. A little too much for Tom’s taste, but he tried to stay positive.


Just that she wore the smallest, sexiest dress she owned didn’t mean that she was going to do something wrong, did it? Or that she put on the black eye shadow and blood red lipstick didn’t really mean anything. And she didn’t wear bra anymore anyway… It was nothing. They were going to have a blast and go home, and everything would be all right. Or so he wished…


After she drank half a bottle of tequila, even Kyle looked worried. Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea after all. That always worked on guys, but maybe it was different with women. He wasn’t so sure about that whole getting drunk/getting laid procedure anymore.


“Maybe we should go home. I don’t feel well.” He said throwing a worried glance at Tom.


Maria wasn’t smiling. Or even talking. Tom knew that this couldn’t possibly mean anything good. This wasn’t her normal reaction to alcohol. She had a determined look on her face that scared Tom. Determined to do what he wondered.


- - -


Maria was dancing. She wasn’t really hearing the music. She was just aware of a rhythm. Thump! Thump! Like a heart beat. She closed her eyes and let her body sway to the rhythm and pink lights caress her in the darkness.


She felt hands on her hips. Big, strong hands. She didn’t protest or open her eyes. She continued dancing. She felt the hot body of the owner of those hands close behind her. He came closer and she didn’t let herself think. She just kept on rocking.


She plastered her back to the body behind her and pushed her hips to the mystery guy’s groin. She felt his erection rubbing against her ass and heard his groan. Her body jerked a little to the unfamiliar sound. A part of her kept chanting “It’s not him.”, but she tuned it out.


She felt a hand moving up her skirt and making its way up to her uncovered core. She hadn't worn panties, it was easier this way. She didn’t flinch at his touch but it didn’t excite her either. Her every move was on memory. She wasn’t thinking. This was something she had to do. This time it had nothing to do with pleasure. She had to do it. She had to break free.


She turned around to face the stranger. His green eyes and salty scent made her stomach quiver but she didn’t let herself pull away. “You’ll be free.” She promised herself. “Everything will be okay again.”


She let her hand travel down his body to stroke his erection. She closed her eyes and bit her bottom lip seductively. She could hear his panting. She didn’t even need to try hard or be original. Men were easy, it was textbook.


She tried to feel the power she held, she tried to enjoy it, but all she found was a sense of unfamiliarity and wrongness inside her. She tried to concentrate to get back what she once had but she couldn’t. It was gone. Another part of her life she had left behind involuntarily.


Her reaction to her own lack of control and power was simple and to be expected. She felt hate and rage towards herself. SHE was responsible for what had happened, not him. It was her that had fell for him when he wasn’t even trying. He’d never given her false impressions. Had never bought her flowers or given her empty promises. And what had she done? Throw herself at his arms and get all wrecked when he treated her like a whore. She was feeling pathetic.


She wanted power again to stand up on her own. She needed to make herself believe that she wasn’t a miserable little nothing. She needed to be herself again, in control, to go on, survive.


She pulled the stranger’s head down to her level and whispered in his ear. “Let’s find somewhere private.”


- - -


Maria pulled him to the empty ladies room. She pushed him against a wall and started to unbuckle his belt. The guy, being a guy, didn’t protest. He just held back and let her have her way.


She avoided his eyes, she was scared that she would see the deep brown ones and she was scared that she wouldn’t. She reached inside his boxers and held him in her hands, making him gasp. She unconsciously expected the smooth skin she wanted to touch and felt sad when she found something else instead.


It felt different; different texture, different warmth… She expected the tingles but they never came. She didn’t know how this was possible but it felt like she’d never ever had sex with anyone but Michael. She couldn’t recall any past experiences, all she knew about sex was what he had given her and now she was craving for it.


She reached in her bag and retrieved a condom. She wasn’t ready to give in to him, to a shadow, a fantasy that would never be. He helped her put on the condom and turned them around so she could lean against the wall.


He pushed her skirt up and guided her legs around him. Then he entered her in one forceful stroke.


It hurt. It hurt like hell. And not in a good way. She wasn’t the least bit aroused and she felt every inch of him rubbing against her walls, making his way inside.


His smell hit her senses and made her sick. He was pushing her against the wall hard and moving inside her. She suddenly felt claustrophobic. She didn’t want to open her eyes to see a stranger. She wanted it to be over.


He was groaning and grabbing her ass while she tried to calm herself down and think of something else. A picture of soft, brown, spiky hair flashed across her mind and she had to open her eyes to make it go away.


She felt one of his hands move up to her face and hold her hair. That did it for her. Tears started to trickle down her cheeks and a huge, hot knot formed inside her stomach. She started to whisper… “No, no, no…”


The guy didn’t even realize the change in her. He kept pounding harder and harder. She pulled her hands free and slapped his hand away from her hair. That finally got his attention.


She became hysterical and started shouting between sobs. “No, no, no…” She pushed him away and he dropped her on the floor. He looked at her with confusion for a moment. She was sitting on the floor, her knees drawn to her chest and her body shaking with sobs. He pulled himself together and walked away from her. But she heard his muttered words before he left.


“Pathetic bitch…”


- - -


Tom and Kyle found her half an hour later sitting near a toilet bowl, wracking with sobs. Kyle gathered her in his arms and carried her to the car. He couldn’t help thinking it was all his fault. His stupid idea. He wanted so badly to hurt something, someone… He wanted to hurt the hell out of Guerin to be exact.


That son of a bitch had hurt Maria and tried to use Kyle. He had trusted him. He had respected him. And Michael had used him. If only he could get a hold of him! Who the f-uck did he think he was, that alien bastard! He would pay… Oh man, he definitely would pay…


Tom ran a bath for Maria and helped her in the tub. She wasn’t crying anymore. She just sat there, staring at the wall with empty eyes and rocked softly. Tom ran a sponge up and down her back soothingly unable to say anything to comfort her.


How could he possibly comfort her when he had no f-ucking idea what her problem was? He knew this wasn’t a normal men oriented thing. Maybe Maria finally had cracked, maybe all the things she had gone through had finally started to pay up. He hoped not.


“I found it Tom.” Her voice was just a notch above a whisper and her face held pain. Whatever she’d found, she definitely wasn’t glad she did.


Tom made sure to sound as he felt. Over-gentle and protective. “What did you find babe?”


She looked him in the eye and Tom thanked god that her eyes were focused. So she wasn’t in shock this time. It was weird but she almost looked excited as she talked.


“I found the thing, you know, the real thing?”


Tom tentatively voiced the name she had forbid him to mention, half expecting her to blow up. “Michael?”


A small smile found its way to her pouty lips to his surprise. “Yeah…” she whispered. “Michael.”


There was something in the way she said his name, that made Tom’s insides warm and fuzzy. Like a mother talking about her child. You wouldn’t believe that this guy had hurt her. Her eyes lit up while she whispered his name. It slipped through her lips cherished as if it was a prayer.


“You’re sure?” He didn’t know what else to ask to keep her talking without sounding wrong or cruel.


“Yeah…” She turned her eyes ahead of her and stared at the wall, like she was looking through a secret window visible only to her.


“It was… like… magic. And it wasn’t just sex… I was so far gone before we had sex… If what we had was sex that is.”


Tom didn’t want to interrogate her, but was determined to understand what she was feeling and thinking, and her current state was his best shot. “You mean you made love?”


“I don’t know. I thought making love was what I had with Colin, you know? All gentle and caring… This was different… I don’t think there's a word for it. It was… both gentle and wild… and everything I could ever ask for. And now everything else feels empty.”


Tom gently caressed her hair and encouraged her to go on. She did, her eyes getting damper with every word.


“For the first time in my life I didn’t feel alone. I felt complete. But of course there was a catch.” She gave a bitter, soft chuckle. “I used to be afraid of being alone… but now… I'm scared to be without him. I know… Noone else would do. I need him.” She looked at Tom with desperate tears trailing down her cheeks.


“I don’t think I can survive without him.”


- - -


“It’s all my fault.”


Tom wasn’t surprised to find Kyle still drinking after two hours he had spent with Maria. He sat next to him and patted his shoulder.


“Come on… She’s better now. She did it herself, on purpose. She needed to test herself, to prove herself. At least now she knows…”


Kyle looked at the black haired, tall stranger in a new perspective. “You really know her, don’t you?”


Tom offered him a small smile and took a sip from his beer. “Yeah, after all those years I mastered being her best friend I think.”


“So tell me then, what is her problem and how can we help her?” What Kyle really wanted to say was “How can I help her? What can I do to make it right again?” He felt guilt settle in his stomach and it wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon.


“We can't solve her problem I'm afraid. She is in love with him. Head over heels… Desperately.”


“Guerin?” Kyle couldn’t even think about disguising his surprise. Guerin and love? Holy s-hit!


“Yeah. And I was positive that it was mutual. But I guess it wasn’t. Or there were other complications. When it comes to love, you never know…”


“What do we do now?” Kyle asked as he planned three thousand different and very creative possibilities to torture and kill a certain Antarian.


“We tried your way and it obviously failed and now I suggest we try my way.”


“Which is?”


“Poker night!”

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