PART 6


Michael was blinded by a strong, white light, right above his head. His mind was fuzzy. He was in a hospital, he could smell it. The mixed smell of hygiene and death… He panicked.


When he finally could see, he saw a man hovering above his face. A stranger. A tall stranger with black hair. He was wearing a black suit. Black suit, the object of his fears.


But Michael wasn’t scared this time. The stranger’s crying blue eyes calmed him down. He wasn’t dangerous. His eyes were soft. He was holding his hand and talking to him, but Michael couldn’t hear.


All he could hear was a buzz. He felt desperation like he never did before. Like he was trapped. He wanted to die to make it stop. Something was wrong. Terribly wrong.


He felt empty. As if he had lost something but couldn’t remember what. He was also slightly pissed. All those feelings were assaulting him, but he wasn’t even sure they were his.


He was suffocating. The walls were closing in on him. He wanted to get up and get out. He tore the tubes from his arms and nose but couldn’t even sit up. He felt a deep pain in his stomach. The pain created echoes in his mind, causing another and another to hit him. Mental ones this time, not physical. But they hurt just the same, maybe even more.


He was angry now. Angry because of the pain? He had no idea.


He threw himself off the bed and felt blood rushing down his legs. He lay on the cold floor, blood slowly puddling under him. He felt like giving up everything at that moment, just wanted to lay there and bleed to death.


- - -


Michael stirred and woke up feeling moisture on his face. It was one of those dreams. They felt real. Too damn real.


He brushed his tears away. His hand touched something warm. He opened his eyes and saw a cloud of blond hair around his neck. The smell, her smell. It was like heaven, to wake up to that smell.


He couldn’t understand how that happened. Why was she in his bed? This was wrong. “Oh, god! Please don’t tell me I slept with her while I was drunk?” he thought. He knew he had screwed everything up again, in a really f-ucked up way this time. She would hate him once she woke up.


This was just his luck. Sleeping with the sexiest creature alive and not even remembering it. He knew it! He was definitely cursed.


He tightened his grip on her waist without even realizing. He looked down at her face. Her head was resting on his chest and she was holding a tight grip on his favorite black t-shirt.


Wait a second! He had his clothes on. They weren’t naked. He breathed a sigh of relief. So they didn’t have sex. Was that good? Of course it was. The disappointment he felt was just a sign of his stupidity.


He felt her stir near him. Her little feet rubbed against his and he knew this wasn’t good. He had to get out of that bed before she woke up to find him with a hard on.


He tried to disentangle himself but that made her stir more. She was about to wake up and he had no idea what to do. Maybe if he pretended to be asleep she would just wake up and go away. But he didn’t want that. He wanted to know what she was doing there, in his bed.


It was too late anyway. Her eyes were already open. She yawned and looked up. Gave him a small smile and said “Mornin’…”


He was surprised, confused and… delighted for some weird reason. “Good morning.” He said, not knowing what else to do.


There was no easy way of asking this so he went straight to the point. “Why are you here?”


She wasn’t angry this time. She was expecting this. He was really out of it the night before so she didn’t expect him to remember it. It was better this way anyway.


She knew he would feel self-conscious if he could remember what he’d done or said. There was just one thing she needed him to know from last night and she would definitely make it known, she just didn’t know how yet.


“Well buddy…” she was talking in a mock fury, propped on one of her elbows looking down at him.


“I carried your heavy drunk ass up here last night. The least you could be is grateful! And you know you really should lose some weight. I was so exhausted, I guess I fell asleep here.”


Okay, maybe it wasn’t the most plausible story but she couldn’t think of anything better. She couldn’t think of anything period. He was too close. His heady scent was clouding her head.


“I didn’t ask you to carry me here. You could just leave me there.”


“How do you know? You can’t even remember it.”


He thought about it for a moment. She was right.


“Well, it was the least you could do. I carried you to bed like four or five times in a month. You keep passing out everywhere.”


“So, we’re even.” He shook her hand.


“Yep, we’re even.”


He got up and walked towards the door. This was as good as it could get. Better to leave it at that. But she obviously didn’t agree. She ran and stood between him and the door, stopping him.


“Wait I need to tell you something.”


“What now?” He looked bored but he was just scared. “Please, don’t talk about feelings or something like that…” he begged silently.


“I just want you to listen and not say anything. I’m not telling this to get a response. I’m just telling it because you’re really dense and need everything spelled out for you. You don’t get a say in this, you just get to know it and what you do with it is totally your decision.”


She looked at him expectantly. All she got was a nod with a skeptical look.


“I know you have your secrets. I don’t know what they are and from now on, I don’t care. You may be a secret agent or a serial killer. I don’t know. I just trust you with it. You can tell me, but you don’t have to. But I don’t want you to hold yourself back because of them. I am your friend and I will keep being your friend no matter what. I may not know how you became that man of contradictions like Max and Izzie does, but I know the way you are now and somehow that seems enough. I know you don’t trust easily and I’m not asking for you to. Just know that I trust you and I’m your friend and since I’m the guest I get to shower first.” With that she smiled and ran to the bathroom.


It wasn’t the smooth speech she had planned in her head but it covered the essentials. She dropped her clothes on the floor, needing a long, cold shower after all that heat.


- - -


“Good morning Michael! I made pancakes for you, just the way you like them.” Amy was her usual cheerful self. But Michael was surprisingly not his usual brooding self that morning. He was quiet and thoughtful, but kind.


“Thanks Amy.” She kissed his cheek. That was their own little morning tradition. The first one to wake up prepared breakfast and Amy kissed his cheek just once every morning. Her smiling face made him forget about the nightmares of the night before and relax.


But not this morning. This morning her face reminded him of Maria’s. Which wasn’t surprising since everything did lately.


“Good morning mom!” Maria sat next to him on the table. She knew he was avoiding her eyes. It was okay. She trusted him to get through this alive and admit being friends sooner or later.


She picked up her fork and stole some of his food since hers wasn’t served yet. She spit it out immediately.


“Disgusting! Oh god, how can someone eat that!” She attacked the water bottle.


He was smirking at her now. “A little too hot for you princess?”


“Did he really mean it to sound that sexy or am I getting really desperate?” she wondered.


He was looking at her suggestively with a raised eyebrow. He loved teasing her. She was too easy and looked really hot all flushed and angry.


Maria licked her lips making him bite back a groan. He gulped. She was a strong opponent.


Amy interrupted, reminding them just in time where they were. “Here you go honey…” She put a plate in front of her.


“So Michael, I’ve been meaning to ask you, what will you wear to the wedding?” Amy knew he didn’t have a tux or anything formal to wear.


“Uh… this?” he said looking at his jeans and t-shirt.


“Oh, no you won’t.” Maria objected, shaking her head.


“Maria honey get him a tux, will you?”


Michael was whining. “Why do I need a tux? I can just wear a jacket or something…”


“Well, I was going to ask you this in a more appropriate moment but, whatever. I was wondering if you could walk me down the aisle?” Amy was looking at him with hopeful eyes.


Michael couldn’t say anything for a moment. “Are you sure? I mean isn’t there someone else?” He looked weird. He felt weird.


“I have some relatives but noone that close. You’re the closest I have to a son.” She was smiling that sweet smile they had, the special contagious DeLuca smile.


“Okay. If that’s what you want.” He managed to say. He wasn’t comfortable with the idea, but felt honored and couldn’t refuse her.


“Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!” Amy said throwing herself in his arms. DeLucas definitely had aggressive reactions to everything.


After Amy calmed down, they talked about guests and flowers and some other boring things, so Michael helped himself to another plate of pancakes and tuned them out.


He started paying attention to the conversation again when he saw Maria squirming and raising her voice.


“Ria baby, I know you aren’t gay, I found condoms at your place.”


What was she talking about? He had really missed something there.


“You rummaged through my drawers haven’t you?” Her eyes were narrowed. She was fuming. You could almost see the smoke coming out of her ears.


“I was just cleaning…”


“Mom, we talked about this…”


“I know, I know. I’m not meddling in your life. I just…” Her voice cracked. ”I just never met any of your boyfriends. I… You know I had always imagined meeting your first boyfriend, but I’d obviously missed that. And I couldn’t see you in your prom dress… I just want to meet someone, anyone from your life. If that’s okay?”


Maria looked at her mother’s tear filled eyes. She was her only child. Amy deserved better. She definitely did.


“Okay. I’ll call him today. He’ll be here for the wedding.”


Michael was staring at a spot on the floor without actually seeing anything while mother and daughter hugged mere inches away from him.


So she had a boyfriend back home. Well, what was he expecting? It was only natural for a girl that beautiful and smart and funny and sexy to have a boyfriend. Of course she was taken.


That was better. So he didn’t have to worry about being more than friends with her. He could be just her friend. Why not?


He had never tried being someone’s friend before but how hard could it be? He’d never met anyone like Maria before. He could make an exception for her. She was different, so this could be different.


She was easy to talk to. She seemed to understand his needs. She was fun to mess with. She was clever. She could cook. She had given him her trust unconditionally. She already was his friend.


He could make it and her having a boyfriend made it less confusing. Even better.


He had always been a bad liar.


- - -


“Michael just get out of there will you?”


“Easy for you to say! You’re not the one looking like a clown.”


“Oh, stop whining and let me see…”


Michael walked in her view, still fidgeting in his tux. He walked towards the mirror passing by a dumbfounded Maria. He took one look at the mirror and groaned.


“I’m not going into public like this!”


Maria got out of her stupor and hit his head; partly because of his whining and partly because he looked so damn good in that thing.


Maria thought he looked delicious in his jeans as well. And his boxers. Or his sweatpants. Hell, he would even look good wearing nothing. She thought about it for a moment and smiled mischievously, yeah, he definitely would look perfect wearing nothing.


“You wanna tell mom or should I?” she asked innocently taking out her cell phone.


A look of terror crossed his eyes. She congratulated herself and put the phone back in her bag. “That was low!” he said.


“Whatever it takes!” She walked closer to help him with his tie.


“This thing is stupid, I can’t do it.”


“Here, let me.”


They were too close again. Alarms started in her head. But this was a kind of game for her now. She loved the thrill.


She raised her head and looked at him. He was tall. His lips begged her to be kissed. She looked at them and licked her lips.


What was it with them that they always ended up like this? Every time they were near each other they found themselves kissing or refraining hardly from it.


He looked at her eyes and asked the question that got her out of her daze.


“So did you call him?”


“Who?”


“Your boyfriend. Amy will be disappointed if he won’t show up.”


“Oh… I… No. Not yet.”


Why was she lying to him now? That wasn’t good. She had told him he could trust her only hours ago. And she had meant it. But now she was lying to him. Great… Great… She was screwing that up too.


She suddenly thought that this could be a good opportunity to see if he cared. It was one thing to be with a guy who only wanted to get laid and another thing to be with Michael when all he wanted was to get laid. Nope, she couldn’t just risk her heart for another a-sshole.


But that was just a fantasy anyway. She admitted that maybe he wasn’t as bad as he looked, that he was a good guy. But that didn’t make him Mr.Right. He didn’t have a real job. He had serious attitude problems. He never had responsibilities, he was still just a kid.


She had to get that through her thick skull; he had no future. She needed future. She needed someone stable. Someone to lean on whenever she was weak, someone to build a family with. She wanted more this time. More than just sex. More than fun. Something… meaningful.


It was okay to be his friend though. So it was better for him to think she was taken. They could be just friends this way and it would be enough. It was all they could ever be.


She took out her cell phone to make a real call this time and dialed the familiar number.


“Hey babe, I need a favor.”


- - -


Maria convinced Michael to buy the tux, telling him that he might need it later, if he could find a girl stupid enough to marry him.


When Michael finally headed for work, still cursing under his breath, Maria took off to see Liz.


Surprise, surprise! Liz was at The Crashdown. She was sitting in a booth with Max. They looked so young and in love, Maria couldn’t help but envy.


When she got near them she had a really stupid idea in her head. “But I need to know…” she reasoned and went for it anyway. When had she ever done anything logical anyway?


“Hi Liz, Max.”


“Hi.”


“Hey Maria.”


“Max I need to talk to you about something. Can I borrow him for a moment Liz?”


“Of course, go ahead!” Liz looked puzzled. What was that all about?


Max led her to the break room. She tried to shape a not-too-weird way to ask him things, but her time was limited. They were there in a second and Max was looking at her expectantly.


She gave him a shy smile. “Sorry about that. I just thought it would be better if we talked alone. Liz seemed a little too emotional yesterday.”


“Yeah, I know. It’s hard for her.”


She wanted to ask what exactly was hard for her, but had a feeling that he would lie… Again. She was sick of Roswell with all its lies.


“Look Max, I came here, a month ago with a heavy emotional baggage. But I found you all even more screwed up than I was.” Max had to agree. They really were screwed up.


“I know there are things you don’t tell me.” His head shot up at that. “I‘m sick of lies so I’ll be as honest as I can be. I don’t want to push you to tell me your secrets. I just want my friends to be okay. I need them to be okay.”


“Me too Maria. Believe me, me too…” He had a pained expression. His shoulders were slumped. He looked old and tired. It was as if he held the responsibility of the whole world on his shoulders.


“I’m guessing you can’t tell me what happened between all of you?”


“I’m sorry.” He looked like he meant it.


“No, it’s okay. I understand I guess. Then just tell me his story?”


He looked at her, puzzled. “Whose story?”


“Michael. I don’t want you to betray your friend or anything. He just… doesn’t talk. You know. You don’t have to tell me anything he wouldn’t want me to know. Okay?”


Max had major doubts about this but she was sincere, he knew that for sure.


“Well, let’s see. Gotta start from the beginning. He was an orphan. You probably know that.”


She nodded.


“He never got adopted like me and Izzie did. He had a foster father, Hank. He was always drunk and he enjoyed beating the s-hit out of him. He was only keeping him to get the money every month and we all knew that. He practically shouted that at him on more than one occasion when I was there.”


“We were his only friends; Izzie and I. Almost family. He never accepted other people in his life. Not even Liz and Alex. And since he came back to Roswell he excluded us as well. He says he likes his solitude.”


“Came back from where?”


“I honestly don’t know. One day he just took off. He left school and everything. He didn’t tell us he was leaving. He came two years later and never told us where he went or what he did all that time.”


“No family, no friends… What about girlfriends?”


“No, no relationships. He doesn’t like attachments. He has some intimacy issues. He doesn’t like being touched. He hates that love crap as he calls it. He says it’s bulls-hit that people pretend to care. His exact words.”


Maria was hoping to solve some of the mysteries of Michael but Max’s story didn’t reveal anything helpful. It just confused her more. She sighed.


“So you don’t know him neither huh?” She asked Max with a small smile.


Max shrugged. “He doesn’t like being known.”


They sat in silence for a moment. Then Max talked again.


“What’s going on between you and Michael?”


She was expecting the question. But she had no idea how to answer it. So she told him the truth.


“He lives at my house and annoys the hell out of me. So you can say we’re friends I guess.”

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | Fic