PART 5


Michael was running. He wasn’t aware of his surroundings. He didn’t have an evident direction. He just knew he had to run.


It was dark and the streets weren’t familiar. But it didn’t matter. He realized that he couldn’t control the things that were happening in any way. There was a plot and he was obeying unwillingly.


He wasn’t wearing much and it was cold. He noticed, this now shivering body wasn’t even his; he was someone else, if that was possible. And that someone else was now too tired and sick to run.


He felt himself stop and drop on his knees, clutching his stomach. He was in pain, but most of it were mental. He caught bits of guilt and desperation when he searched the foreign mind he now had.


Rain started pouring down, making soothing noises. He -or maybe the stranger, he couldn’t really distinguish- liked the pattering sound the drops made around him.


He closed his eyes and let himself lay back on the pavement. Water massaged his cold, unfeeling face. The puddle under him was soaking his clothes. Strong feelings of loneliness and defeat washed over him.


He heard a faint thumping sound mixed in the sounds of the rain. It was rhythmic. Almost hypnotizing. The tapping of the rain slowly vanished in the background, leaving him with the ascending rhythmic noise he not only heard but felt between his ears now.


It grew louder and louder until he couldn’t stand it and wanted to scream. But he couldn’t scream or move. He just lay there, staring at the street light right above him with his eyes wide open waiting for the deafening sound to stop or kill him…


Michael woke up with a start. His hair was plastered over his face, drenched in sweat. He turned to his side and saw blond hair scattered around between his old, worn, used-to-be-white sheets.


He reached and brushed some hair away from her face. She was deep in sleep, her lips slightly parted. He checked her pulse just to be sure. She was alive and well.


Her smell made him dizzy. It was a sort of flowery scent mixed with something unique, something Maria.


He wanted to hold her and forget the world. It felt like she could make everything better, make the bogeymen go away. It would be safe if he could reach inside her world and close his eyes, just let himself be absorbed by her warmth.


But this was just another fantasy he had gotten so used to having lately; he knew what he had to do. He closed his eyes to open them to the real world this time.


The really real world, the cruel one where bogeymen wore black suits. The world Maria wouldn’t even look at his face again, let alone kiss him, once she found out what he really was.


He sighed, reluctantly taking his hand away from her silky hair and opened his eyes. He put his shields up once more, his look hardened, his face became expressionless.


- - -


Maria woke up in her own bed to Amy’s frantic voice.


“No, no, no!!! I told you a thousand times, I don’t want a chocolate cake, if I wanted chocolate I would have ordered chocolate!”


Maria shut her eyes, trying to ignore the screaming mother she had downstairs.


“No, I did not order that! Are you out of your mind? Jim hates chocolate! Why would I order something my fiancée hates?”


It wasn’t working. She tried to cover her ears with her pillow. She was hoping a spaceship would crash on Amy sometime soon.


“Oh yeah? No, I am not stupid, you are stupid! You can’t even take a damn order right!”


A picture of her mother ranting to a group of green men with four eyes flashed in her mind and woke her sleepy mind up to possibilities.


“Do you know who my fiancée is? Jim Valenti. Yes, the sheriff himself. How would you feel about ruining his wedding?”


Maria had given up on sleep by that point and was wondering why someone would hate chocolate.


“Well, I don’t care how damn sorry you are! You will have my cake ready right on time or you’ll be hell of a lot more sorry!”


Maria felt like getting out of the bed and running all the way back to LA. She definitely wasn’t going to be able to go through with this!


Amy was mothering her like she was three again, her friends treated her like nothing was wrong and they were still best friends, all the while lying to her about every damn thing.


Michael was a total enigma. She wanted him like she never did anyone before but he had nothing to offer. He never showed any indication of wanting to offer anything anyway.


He had kissed her once. And she had some suspicions about kissing him a second time, but it most likely was another dream. She couldn’t remember anything, just a picture of his face close to hers, his eyes closed in anticipation.


It was wishful thinking, it had to be. That expression he had and the feeling it gave her… It was romance novel material. Not Michael Guerin, definitely not Michael Guerin.


And there was the wedding to top it all. Everything was good but she wanted it to be perfect, needed it to be perfect. That was the least she could do for Amy.


She was confused and lonely, away from her home, her fish and her best friend. She had noone to talk to, noone to understand, to comfort her, to tell her she could make it. Every new day fed her confusion and she ignored it all, acting as she was expected to act, on auto pilot in her Super Maria mode.


She got up from the bed, feeling sick. She ran towards the bathroom, one hand clutching her stomach, the other her mouth. She opened the door and bent over the toilet just in time to lose the remainders of her dinner.


She didn’t see the shaving alien standing right next to her in her frenzy. Michael wanted to hold her hair back, it was getting dirty. But it was against Maria Regulations, so he stood back.


He had a new set of rules to help him manage Maria; The Maria Regulations. It was simple really. The motto was to treat her like any other person. Except the girls he had fun of course.


To have fun with Maria and just throw her away was not an option. Not that he couldn’t have fun with her. She was his new epitome of sexy women. She was THE most erotic thing he had ever seen in his life. But the throwing away part was the problem.


DeLuca women were not easy to throw away. They weren’t easy period. They were fighters; real, fearless fighters that you wouldn’t want to mess with. He wouldn’t want to be their enemy.


And there was this one little doubt he had… Which he definitely wouldn’t admit to anyone, even himself. What if he wouldn’t be able to let her go when he once had her?


A voice chanted in his head “One taste and you’re a goner.” He didn’t know whose voice it was but he believed it nonetheless. He just hoped one kiss -well okay two kisses- wouldn’t count as a taste.


The Regulations were to keep him away from the confusion. Basics were something like that; Don’t treat her different, don’t touch her, don’t be nice to her, don’t help her, don’t listen to her sing, do not under any circumstances smell her…


He could do it. He had killed evil aliens, he’d once commanded Antarian armies -or so they said-, he’d survived Hank, he’d lived the loneliest life for twenty-two long, tough, boring years… He could definitely resist a stupid blond girl.


Michael cleared his throat to make his presence known. Maria tried to raise her head to the sound but another wave of nausea hit her, hard.


Michael overcame the urge to hold her in his arms and take her to bed and he said the first thing he could think of instead.


“I really didn’t need to see that!”


She looked at him with disgust. This was the Michael she knew, so that kiss definitely was a fantasy. The world made sense again.


Michael held his breath when he saw her face. He didn’t expect her to look that pale and sick. Her eyes were red and her lips were dry. She was trembling and it wasn’t even a bit cold.


He tore his gaze away from her face and continued shaving with trembling hands.


She thought about giving him a rude response, but she didn’t have the strength. Her eyes dropped, and she sat on the floor. “Not now Bobo.” She said in a small voice.


“Go back to bed.” His tone was serious this time.


Maria gave a small laugh. “Nice to know you care.” She said sarcastically.


“I don’t.” he explained, trying and actually succeeding to look nonchalant. He earned himself a well-deserved glare from the sick girl on the floor.


“I just don’t want you to puke all over the house, I live here too you know.”


She hated this thing, this feeling she had when she was near him. She felt cheated and lied because of his mood swings.


She had learned long ago not to give people trust before they earned it, but somehow with Michael her resolve crumbled from the very first moment and she found herself thinking like a high school girl with a crush again.


She stood up on her shaking legs and flushed the toilet. She had every intention to go back to her room and away from him but she realized it wasn’t an option with her dizziness and unbalanced legs.


She didn’t want to make a bigger fool of herself. So she sat on the toilet seat almost involuntarily, and tried to gather her strength.


Michael sighed. “Go back to bed!” His tone annoyed the hell out of her but she couldn’t respond. She just wanted to follow his advice -or command- and crawl back to bed but that was the problem, she didn’t trust her legs to walk, she could only crawl. Him watching her crawl was something her ego wouldn’t be able to handle.


He finished shaving and washed his face. He turned his head to her and she swore under her breath. How was she supposed to resist kissing him when he had that specially crafted face and luscious lips? She watched water streaming down his throat and his fingers combing his spikes.


Oh god! Now she was both sick and hot. She wasn’t that strong, this was too much. First a whole damn month without sex and now this! A f-ucking sex GOD was in her house, half-naked, only inches away from her, waiting to be ravaged and she couldn’t touch him. Look but don’t touch. God had no mercy!


Michael heard the door shut downstairs and realized that Amy was gone. He growled and took her in his arms, not too gently but not hard enough to hurt her. He mumbled something about stupid, stubborn, blond girls.


Maria couldn’t protest. She was just savoring the feeling. His strong arms holding her close to his chest, his heartbeat matching hers, too fast too loud. They avoided eye contact, both knowing that it would be too much.


She didn’t know where to put her hands. She knew where she wanted to put them but she didn’t give into temptation. She clutched his arm leaning her forehead to his bare chest, trying to think anything else but his skin.


He made his way to the guestroom and put her down on the bed. He pulled the covers over her, still avoiding her gaze. When she was settled he gave her an angry glare and said “Stay there!” briefly in a threatening voice.


He walked to his room and changed in a daze, missing her warmth in his arms. It felt right, she felt right. He, Michael Guerin, who had never even had a crush, felt like she belonged in his arms and should stay there forever.


“It is stupid and sappy…” he told himself. She was hot and he wanted her. That explanation saved him a lot of confusion. He went out relieved.


- - -


He detoured on his way to work and stopped by The Crashdown. Liz was there as usual. She looked startled when Michael entered.


He had stopped going to The Crashdown long ago. He’d never spent time with Izzie and Max and he’d always avoided Liz and Alex. He had been living in solitude mostly and kept being mean to everyone and anyone who dared talking to him.


“Liz.” he said walking towards her. Uh-oh! This couldn’t be good.


Liz faked a smile. “Uh, hi Michael.”


He was direct as usual. “Go to Maria’s.”


“Why? What happened?” Liz assumed something terrible should have happened since Michael came to her and all.


“She is a damn annoyingly stubborn DeLuca, that’s what happened!” he fumed.


“Just do me a favor and keep her in bed. Call Amy if she gets worse.” He gave her a key and left the restaurant, leaving a very confused Liz behind.


- - -


“Maria?” Liz climbed the stairs and walked towards the guestroom. She heard a loud thud followed by some cursing.


“Ria?” She opened the door and found Maria lying on the floor. She opened her eyes to look at her guest.


“Hey Liz, what are you doing here?” She was still on the floor. She had tried getting up before. It was pointless. Her legs failed to cooperate.


“Michael sent me.” Liz said still unsure about the situation. Was that normal? Michael, caring about a human enough to ask for Liz’s help?


“Oh.” Maria avoided her eyes. She looked embarrassed but not surprised. What was that all about?


Liz got out of her stupor and helped Maria back to bed. She sat near her and decided to take things slow, despite her curiosity.


“You just stay here. I’ll make you some chicken soup and call Max to tell him I’ll be with you today.”


“Liz you really don’t need to. I’ve got tons of things to do today.”


“Nope! Michael gave me direct orders and I don’t want to suffer his wrath. So you stay here and wait for your chicken soup.”


Maria gave in. “With rice?” she asked with hopeful eyes.


“Of course. Lots of rice and no lemon. Your favorite.”


- - -


Michael was working. That was true. He was working. Like he did every day. Nothing different about today. Just another day. Yep, he was just working.


He wasn’t thinking at all about what she was doing. She was okay. Liz was there. And she was just a little sick. Nothing major. Why should he care, right? He didn’t care. So he wasn’t thinking about her.


And he sure wasn’t daydreaming about her in his bed. Not thinking about her hair between his fingers; how soft it was, how good it smelled.


He wasn’t remembering her lips, her soft kisses. He wasn’t reliving it again and again. Cause it didn’t matter. He didn’t care. He didn’t.


There was no point in thinking about her little feet, tangled between his sheets. Her toenails, painted with a sweet pink nail polish. He hated pink. Yeah, and why would he care about her toes? Right. Who cares? He definitely didn’t.


She wasn’t perfect. He could have any other girl he wanted. More beautiful girls with bigger breasts. And he never really liked blondes. He preferred brunettes. He didn’t want her, not really.


But what the hell was she doing in his head? Every time he closed his eyes, her face was there. Either from last night or this morning. Her pale face and unfocused eyes haunted him.


His fear had brought him to phone many times but every time he’d put it down, listening to the more logical part of his mind. He couldn’t just let them think he cared. Cause he didn’t.


Right.


- - -


Maria was feeling much better after the soup. She had some things to do for the wedding but she gave herself some time off. Her body needed it. Hitting her head last night and her upset stomach today called for a much-needed rest.


They sat and talked in the kitchen, just like they used to when they were younger, replacing ice cream with soup. They talked about Max and Liz mainly and how they ended up together.


“You never believed me when I told you he had a crush on you!” Maria protested. “He was sitting in the same booth every day. It was so obvious.”


Liz laughed at that, remembering those days. “I guess you were right. And now we’re getting married.”


“Did you guys set a date yet?”


“Well we’re planning on doing it soon, before the baby comes.” Liz was looking at her, waiting for the unique Maria reaction. She wasn’t disappointed.


Maria shouted, standing up “Holy s-hit!” She wrapped her arms around Liz and held her tight. “You’re gonna be a mother! Oh, my god! That’s so unbelievable.”


She was jumping around chanting. “I’m gonna be an aunt! I’m gonna be an aunt!”


Michael chose this moment to walk in. He couldn’t wait for his shift to be over today, he really wasn’t feeling well. Yeah, right.


“You can’t be an aunt when you don’t have any siblings. And I thought I told you to stay in bed, not jump around like a lunatic.” He said in a surprisingly nice manner. He was relieved and feeling cheerful all of a sudden; she was okay.


Before Liz could say anything, Maria blurted it out. “I didn’t know you were my doctor and I don’t care about the genetics, Liz is the closest I have to a sister.”


Michael stood still, trying to understand what she meant. Then it hit him, hard. He turned his gaze to Liz. She was squirming.


Maria couldn’t understand why Liz looked so scared. It was only Michael.


“I’m pregnant.” Liz said to Michael, looking down at her feet.


Michael’s look scared even Maria. It was full of pure hatred. “Well, congrats.” he said in an ice-cold tone.


He took a beer out of the fridge and headed to the backyard.


- - -


Liz left in a hurry without telling Maria anything more than a simple goodbye. She was at the verge of tears, so Maria couldn’t insist on talking. But she was really pissed.


She almost ran to the backyard, determined to get some answers. “What the hell was that all about?” she yelled at the alien lying on the grass.


“What?” His voice was calm and teasing. “You were there, Liz is pregnant.”


“I know she is Michael, what I want to know is why you made her cry.”


“Well that’s the least I can do, right? She ruined my life, I should repay her somehow.”


Maria couldn’t make the connection. The answers she could think of were not the ones she wanted to hear.


“You’re in love with her, aren’t you?” she asked calmly.


Michael started to laugh and couldn’t stop. “Are you nuts? I’m in love with Liz? That’s the funniest thing I’ve ever heard.”


“Then there’s only one other thing I can think of. You’re in love with Max.”


Michael laughed harder this time, out of control. She would have thought that he had a beautiful laugh if she weren’t so irritated. She didn’t understand him and she hated being in the dark.


“Tell me then, how does Liz being pregnant ruins your life?”


He stopped laughing. “You can’t understand.” His eyes were closed; his voice was almost inaudible.


“Make me.”


“I can’t.”


“God dammit Michael! Just tell me! I am sick of all those secrets! Why are you all so guarded? I am not your enemy!”


Tears streamed down Michael’s cheeks. He couldn’t stop them.


“Oh God!” Maria knew something was terribly wrong. She couldn’t figure it out till she saw the empty bottle in his hand. “You’re drunk aren’t you? Don’t expect me to believe you’re this wasted with just one bottle. How much did you drink before you came home?”


Michael was sobbing by now and Maria was blabbering, not knowing what to do. She put a trembling hand on his shoulder. His body was shaking with sobs.


So he wasn’t as tough as he appeared. He had a lot bottled up inside. He reminded her of herself. How many nights did she see that same look in the mirror? Too many damn nights.


She couldn’t stop her own tears from spilling down. She sat on his lap, straddling him and held him tight while making soothing noises.


“Sssh, it’s gonna be okay. You’ll see. It’s okay.” He held onto her waist with all his might as if he was afraid that she would disappear. His head was on her shoulder, his face buried in her neck.


He was shaking violently. The more his body shook, the more she cried. “What happened to him to make him break down like that?” she wondered.


He always had this attitude; like nothing could touch him, like he didn’t care about anything or anyone. But here he was trembling and sobbing like a kid in her arms. “He is a contradiction.” She reminded herself. “That’s what makes him Michael.”


“It’s okay. I’m here. It’s okay.”


“No.” he managed to say between sobs, shaking his head.


“No?”


“You’re not here, I’m alone.” He replied with a whisper.


“No, no, no…” She tilted his head up to look at her. “I’m here. You’re not alone. I’m your friend. And I’ll always be there when you need me.”


“I don’t have any friends.” He said shaking his head again.


She knew she would never forget that moment, ever. His eyes, vulnerable and innocent as she’d never seen them before, touched her in some place she didn’t even know existed.


She always dated strong guys, trying to fill the void of a stronger figure in her life. But it had never worked. They never were able to mend her weaknesses.


But at that moment, rocking him in her arms, she thought maybe she got it all wrong. She might be weak but she could be strong for him, just like she knew he would be strong for her if she needed him to be. It was simple and felt natural. Almost an instinct.


“Well I’m sorry buddy but you have one now.”


He held her tighter. Buried his face in her neck again, smelling her scent. He was slightly calmed. But he didn’t let her go. It felt too good, almost unbelievable.


“I want this to be real.” He said, talking to himself. “I don’t wanna be alone again.”


Maria knew exactly what he meant. This wasn’t really real. Darkness of the night mixed with alcohol gave them that moment and there was the fear of losing it when sun shone through.


“You won’t.” she reassured him with determination. “I’ll be here.”


They sat there for a long time, their bodies entwined. She didn’t want to move but finally had to admit that it was getting cold.


“Michael, we have to get inside. It’s cold.” She wasn’t getting a response from him. He was nearly asleep.


“Let’s get you to bed.” He was heavy but she got him half-walking. They stumbled up the stairs to his room, bumping into walls occasionally. She lay him down on the bed and got him under the covers.


She sat on the bed and put her hand on his cheek. She smoothed his hair back and caressed his cheek. Her knuckles grazed over his lips… And it was too much. She had to go before something happened. She got up but he held her hand.


“No.” he said almost pleading. “Stay.” His look was too honest, too vulnerable. She couldn’t ignore it and do what’s logical. She just obeyed him.


She lay there, under the covers, feeling his warmth, his face right in front of hers. He reached and cupped her face with one hand. His eyes were half closed. She was paralyzed; she couldn’t move a muscle.


He brushed his lips gently over hers. She couldn’t help but wet his lips with her tongue, tasting him and his tears mixed with some beer there.


She didn’t deepen the kiss, she knew that this wasn’t what he needed, what they needed. Instead she placed a kiss between his right eye and temple, just like she had done a month ago.


He kissed her nose and brought her body closer to his. This had nothing to do with sex. He simply needed to know she was there. So she held him tight and molded their bodies together, sharing her warmth to help him break the ice in his mind, in his heart.


She placed her head near his neck, where she could smell him and fell asleep that way, not thinking about tomorrow or even the next minute for she was safe and content in that moment.

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