PART 4


Hours passed exchanging stories. The three friends shared the events of the last seven years they had spent apart. But there were major dents in all their stories. None of them went into the most important stuff; not knowing how to tell or in some cases not knowing whether it would be right to tell.


Max and Isabel just sat and watched them, occasionally adding a detail or two to the stories their other halves told.


Michael was looking bored, but in reality watching the interaction between the three friends intently. He watched the humans tell stories of them skipping the dangerous parts.


He had never trusted them. He had never called them friends. Maybe they weren’t enemies, but that didn’t make them his allies. He had never asked for them to find out and once they did, he had never wanted them to be a part of his small circle of family. But it had been inevitable.


He had never told his secret to anyone. He had never trusted anyone. He had never felt the need to trust anyone. He had only trusted his own kind, the only two he was aware of. And they had betrayed him. They had betrayed his secret, their pact and their friendship.


He had left them once. One night; when he got sick of Max and Isabel with their precious humans, and Hank with his precious booze. He had just ran away, without any direction in mind. If he felt alone inside, he might as well be alone on the outside too, he had reasoned.


He had come back after two years of living on the roads. He had never found what he was looking for, but he wouldn’t have come back if it weren’t for Isabel’s illness. She had come into his dream looking miserable and told him she needed him. So he had come back.


Nothing was changed in Roswell while he was gone. Max had been still counting how many times he had screwed up and Isabel had still been the Mother Goose, trying to look after him.


But that time around he hadn’t let them take control. Years on road had toughened him. Max and Izzie had been afraid of him. He had used it well to have his space and had never let them too close again.


He had always wanted their respect and it was exactly like him to screw that up too and scare them away instead. But it seemed like the only way and he had accepted it.


And for the last five years, he had been surviving, waiting for something, anything to happen. He didn’t want his human life like Max and Izzie. He’d been waiting to get out of this stupid planet, he’d been waiting for his life to come and find him. He had been waiting to be saved.


While sitting there all bored, listening to the stories he already knew, an idea occurred to him. Maria was Liz’s best friend; if she had chosen to stay seven years ago, she probably would have known about them too.


Would she have told someone? Would she have just accepted them? Liz would have told her, that was a given. She had even told Alex. Questions of what could have happened filled his mind but one question stopped all others all of a sudden.


Would they be together if she knew? Would they be like Alex and Izzie or Max and Liz? He couldn’t picture himself like that. He’d never had anyone that close. He didn’t believe that he was capable of letting people get intimate with him.


He decided that if anything had happened between them, he would have screwed it up by now anyway. And there was no point of having relationships or ties here, when his sole purpose was to go away.


His own thoughts and dreams were disturbing him lately. It felt like he was giving up subconsciously. He was failing again, and this time he was failing and disappointing himself. He was betraying his own life’s objective and everything he believed was right.


He got up and walked outside, hardly refraining himself from running till he reached the door. He ran when he got out of sight. He knew at the back of his mind that there was no running away from himself, but he didn’t let himself realize it just yet. He pretended to do so.


- - -


Nobody noticed Michael’s absence until it was nearly midnight and time to go. They left promising to meet and hang out again.


Maria made herself a cup of tea and sat in the backyard looking at the stars without even seeing them. She was deep in thought. She never heard Michael come and sit next to her.


Michael took a sip from her tea…


“How do you drink that s-hit? It’s disgusting.”


Anyone who knew Michael would have been really impressed by his attempt at making small talk. But Maria sure wasn’t one of those people. She didn’t even turn her head.


They sat in silence for a while, then Maria asked the question that bothered her.


“Why did they lie to me?”


Michael felt like he was punched in the stomach. He wasn’t expecting this. He never thought she’d notice.


“Why do you think they lied?”


She gave him an are-you-for-real? look.


“Come on, I know I didn’t see them for seven years but I’d known them since they were in diapers. I taught them how to lie for God’s sake!”


He didn’t know what to say. He had no proper explanation. So he directed her to Liz. It was their mess after all.


“Then you should ask that to them.”


She considered that for a moment and decided against it. She shook her head.


“No, I won’t ask if they don’t want to tell me. I’m not here to bother people.”


“You didn’t tell them the whole truth as well.” He stated.


She threw him a skeptical look. “How do you know?”


“You told me.” Seeing as she had no idea, he added… “…Last night.”


And suddenly realization hit her. She now understood where all that weird knowledge came from.


“So I talked to you last night…”


“Yes you did.” There was a pause. “Why did YOU lie?”


“I didn’t exactly lie… I just left some parts out.” He didn’t look satisfied so she continued. “I can’t just spill my life to people that don’t even trust me anymore. Not that I blame them or anything.”


“You blame yourself about this too?” Michael didn’t look like a concerned friend while asking this. He didn’t have it in him and they weren’t even friends. His voice contained no noticeable emotion.


Maria didn’t like the direction this conversation headed. “What exactly did I tell him last night?” she wondered.


She didn’t answer, in a way she couldn’t. What was she going to say? That she did blame herself? What good would that do? He already knew that by the looks of it anyway.


Twenty minutes passed in companionable silence. That was weird considering the pair in question, but they didn’t even notice since they both had too much to think.


Michael noticed her biting her nails. The rhythmic noise she kept making was driving him crazy. It sounded deafening in the silence of the night.


He grabbed her hand to stop her. She looked at him with questioning eyes.


“Stop doing that!”


“They are my nails, what’s it to you?”


“It’s disgusting, stop it!”


“The things you eat are disgusting, but you don’t see me yapping about it, do you?”


“I don’t yap.”


“Yes you do! And that’s my backyard, I can do whatever I want.”


“It’s not yours and you know it!”


“Well, it definitely isn’t yours!”


“Who cares whose backyard it is, just stop making that noise!”


“Who’s gonna make me?”


“You are so damn annoying, you know that?”


“Well then, that makes the two of us!”


They stared at each other for a while, daring the other to do something. When it started to take too much effort to not jump him, Maria turned her head and began biting her nails again, a lot more furiously this time.


She had felt sexual attraction to a lot of guys before, and she’d never really cared. She’d just acted on it. But she knew this time it would complicate things way too much.


They weren’t just in some club. Her mother was involved this time, her friends were involved. He wasn’t just some nameless guy, he was Michael Guerin.


The Michael Guerin that lived in her house. The Michael Guerin that she had a huge crush on in high school. The Michael Guerin that wouldn’t just disappear like the other guys in the morning. The Michael Guerin that she could easily fall for if she could just let herself.


So she kept away, following all the good reasons she had. She just couldn’t let herself ruin her life even more.


- - -


Days turned into weeks, weeks turned into…three quarters of a month to be exact. And Maria remembered why she had hated Roswell so much. Nothing ever happened in that town.


Maria spent her days planing the wedding, helping her mother at the store and sitting around, watching daytime TV. Amy was never home at nights; so she cooked, sat in the backyard, fought with Michael and slept, in the exact same order every damned night.


She met Liz a couple of times. Liz kept lying, so she never told her about her father or Colin or anything important for that matter.


Alex and Izzie were out of town; at least she didn’t have to pretend with them. She wasn’t angry or anything, it just hurt to know that your best friends didn’t want you anymore.


It was one week till the wedding. Everything was ready to go. It was planned to be a simple ceremony, wedding at the church, reception at the backyard. They didn’t want to make it a big deal, just between close friends and family.


- - -


Maria was trying to get some change in her boring life. Thinking all day; she couldn’t find anything to change, so she decided on cutting her old jeans.


She wanted them just under her knees. She was too lazy to take them off, so she took her mother’s scissors and started to cut the lower parts while still wearing the jeans.


It was impossible to get them straight. And she was having a hard time cutting the backsides. She sat on the floor, facing the wall and put her legs up.


It was difficult; she wasn’t a gymnast or anything. She knew she could hurt herself really badly, but she was stubborn as hell once she set her mind.


When Michael came in, he couldn’t process what he was seeing. Maria had her back to him. She was bracing her thighs with her arms and her head was between her knees.


“What are you doing?” he asked carefully and slowly.


She couldn’t answer -her mouth was busy pulling to rip a piece of denim- but held the scissors like he should have guessed.


He was near her by now. “Do you need help?” He looked concerned, not about her physical well being but the mental one.


“Nope.” She mumbled.


Her face was flushed; she was pulling the part in her mouth with all her might.


“You know, you could make a great guard dog.” Suggested Michael, standing behind her with his trademark smirk.


She mumbled something unintelligible and pulled harder. Suddenly her jeans tore and her head hit his knees knocking him down.


Her head was pounding; she couldn’t open her eyes or get up. Or maybe her eyes were open but she couldn’t see. She decided to check; if only she could manage to get her hand to obey orders again.


Michael felt a weight on his legs and looked down. He said “This is the second time you did that in a month!” as he sat up.


He looked at her face and saw her eyes looking at a spot in the ceiling. It was like she was dead, but he noticed her chest rise and fall with every breath.


Michael panicked. The cool guy Michael Guerin lost his composure for a moment. He gently but hurriedly pulled his legs from under her, while holding her head.


He watched her face for any difference but saw none. So he gathered her in his arms, carried her to his room and laid her on his bed.


He couldn’t think, didn’t know what to do. He brought some ice and put on her head where she had hit his knees and started to wipe her face with cold water.


He tried talking to her, hoping that she could hear.


“Maria, try to move your hand if you’re hearing me. Come on you can do it, just focus.”


“Maria, you have to try to wake up!”


She heard his voice; it wasn’t emotionless or teasing like it usually was. It was soft and concerned. She felt his caresses on her face. They set fire on the skin that cold water cooled only seconds ago.


He was treating her like a newborn baby, like she could easily break. She had never been touched like this. Men didn’t like caresses; they liked to go straight to the point. Even if they did, nobody ever caressed her cheeks that way. Her ass maybe, her breasts or her thighs; but never her face…


She heard his voice pleading “Maria, come on… Wake up.” She realized that this was the first time he called her with her name since they had met. She liked the way he said it; soft and hoarse… as if it was a prayer.


Michael touched her lips, feeling her lip gloss and stroked her hair back from her face, remembering her curls once again.


“What if she never wakes up?” he thought. “What if she dies now? What if this is it?” Panic grew in him, while his chest tightened around his heart.


Maria represented the things he fantasized, but could never have. She was the girl of his fantasies. She couldn’t die.


He had never daydreamed or fantasized about anything but spaceships until last month. Of course he’d had dreams about girls, he was a guy after all, even if an alien one at that. He’d just never had one constant girl in all his fantasies before Maria.


She was there kissing him, making love to him. She was there laughing with him, crying with him. She was there marrying him, having his children. She was there coming to his planet with him. The dreams changed all the time, but she was always there.


And now he was losing her, not in a dream, but for real. Tears, he had never let spill in front of anyone before, filled his eyes. He held them back, but one drop made its way down his cheek and fell on her lips.


She felt the drop of water course down her lips to her tongue. It tasted salty. She couldn’t understand where it came from. Why would the water be salty? Then it hit her; he was crying, over her.


She suspected that she might be dead or hallucinating. It didn’t make sense; Michael wouldn’t cry, it wasn’t like him to cry. She wanted to see for herself but she didn’t know how to wake up. She found her heartbeat and concentrated on it and slowly, step by step she forced herself to feel.


Michael was numb. He had no idea what he was doing. He couldn’t think or feel. He held her hand and studied her short nails. He remembered how they fought about her habit of biting them. And he thought he would never see her doing it again or watch her cook or hear her sing in the shower.


That thought woke him up from his daze. His voice was firm and commanding this time.


“Maria, you have to wake up now. Come on, you can do it! Just come back to my voice.”


He saw her hand twitch and her eyelids flutter. His voice was full of excitement and hope this time.


“Look at me Maria, try to focus.”


She raised her hand to his face. It was hard, since she saw three of them. He helped her hand to his cheek and held it there. Her eyes finally met his and she found what she was looking for.


There were no tears, but his eyelashes were wet. And his eyes weren’t the same ones she’d been seeing everyday for the last three weeks. He wasn’t the Michael Guerin she knew. This Michael had life in his eyes the other one lacked.


He brought her hand to his lips and kissed her palm, his eyes never leaving hers.


“Are you okay?” he asked just to be saying something. She nodded in response, not trusting her voice.


She brought his face closer; she couldn’t think about anything else right now. His eyes closed while their lips met.


The kiss was slow and gentle this time. His tongue met hers in her mouth and caressed it with a delicacy he never knew he had. Tears spilled down her cheeks as she put all her need and want in that, one kiss.


He licked her lips, tasting strawberry just like he remembered. Her mouth was hot and sweet; her kisses were content and tired, not aggressive like she usually was.


He realized that he made a connection with her involuntarily. This was the first time he had done something like that, he wasn’t good at these things. Well, to be perfectly honest, he sucked at them.


He blocked his mind to keep her out. He didn’t want her to freak out. Memories of her past hit him all of a sudden. He was seeing, feeling and even smelling things she once did.


He saw millions of memories all at once; he couldn’t even process them. He blocked them as much as he could and focused on her lips; soft, hot and welcoming.


He broke off the kiss softly and opened his eyes. He slowly kissed the tip of her nose and her forehead. Her eyes were still closed and she was still caressing his cheek.


A bright smile slowly spread over her face as she opened her eyes and found his.


“I’m okay now.” She said, content. “But sleepy…” she yawned. She was tired, her eyes were closing.


“No, no, no… You can’t sleep now. No, Maria, look at me. You may have a concussion, you have to stay awake.”


“Can’t… too sleepy…” she mumbled.


He didn’t know what to do. “If only Max was here… He could make a connection and see…” He couldn’t finish the thought as he realized what had just happened.


He could connect with her. And that might mean that he could heal her. He had access to both her body and mind. He at least had to try.


He placed his hands on her temples and watched her face, concentrating. He was in, in a second.


He felt her presence all around him. It felt warm, surrounding him like a cocoon that smelled like roses. He felt content for the first time in his life. She was filling all his voids, completing him.


He could lose himself in her rosy scent, but he didn’t let himself enjoy the feeling. He had a mission. He needed to check if she was alright. Well, he needed to learn how to do it first.


He focused on her body and felt her heart beat in time with his. He coursed through her veins and found her brain.


He knew nothing at all about biology but he didn’t need to. Her mind was telling him what he wanted to know. He knew she was okay, there was nothing she couldn’t handle herself. She was just exhausted.


He tried to focus and gather all his energy. He was surprised how sudden and powerful it came. He channeled it towards her in small amounts. He figured it might hurt her if he let go of it too much.


He retreated to his own body, feeling her getting stronger. He came back and opened his eyes to a spinning world which proceeded to dissolve into darkness.

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