Author: Arimi
Category: M&M PG
Disclaimer: Not mine
Description: I wrote this on the plane ride home to Houston. I had my DiscMan on and it was playing this song so I stopped writing another fic to write this down. It’s a tag to one of my favorite episodes of Season 3.
to
Didi for
beta-ing this for me. And to Kate and Didi for being so supportive!
***
It was late and he had a long day on the road. This stop would cause a delay, but his bones were tired for he had been on his bike for more than 24 hours without sleep. He needed to rest, food and a nice shower before hitting the road again.
He slowed down and pulled up to a roadside motel. It was one of those old ones with the doors facing the road, old and run down. Memories rushed back, hitting him; it seemed so long ago, but somehow he had always known that that was the defining moment and nothing would ever be the same again.
There was a little diner across the street, maybe a little grub before bed. He was thumbing through the menu and finally he settled for a double cheeseburger, fries and a cherry coke. Greasy food made home so far away.
He fished out his wallet when the waitress brought his bill. The picture fell out as he opened it to pay for his meal. It was given to him a while back, but he had never shown it to her. He had no idea who took the picture, but it was one of them all together. The group was doing what they did best, hanging out and eating and just being friends, those times were few and far in-between, but those were the best times; when there was nothing to worry about. Being normal . Looking at the picture, most people would see the smiling faces of their friends. No one would pay attention to the couple in the back of the picture. She was sitting next to him, almost leaning on him. She was looking beyond the camera with a gentle smile on her face. Their fingers were intertwined as their arms were wrapped around her waist, his on top of hers, only to be hidden by the shadows of the table.
She looked happy and glowing in his arms, but it was the look in his eyes that scared him. He knew how he felt that day and that look said it all. It wasn’t the look of a lovesick puppy, rather it was a combination of many things - lust, passion, happiness, ache, need, longing, love and belonging. That look gave too much away, and that was the reason why he could never show the picture to her. The fear of being vulnerable and exposed, something he kept hidden for so long.
In the distance the jukebox changed to something he recognized from her CD collection. He would never admit it to her, but the song was one of his favorites and every time she would sing along with it, a knot would form in this throat. He would be mesmerized when she closed her eyes and let the music move her, and how she would lightly place her hand on her chest and take a moment to breathe at certain parts of the song; he found himself doing the same. Again, he felt the ache as he always had when he could feel her so near.
How appropriate it was that he sat there cleaning the fingerprints and smudges from the photo to Sarah McLachlan singing in the background? He had no idea where she was or how he was going to find her to tell her how he feels, how he always felt. He had no idea how he would be getting her back, but he had to let her know. He was not a man who knew the right thing to say, never had the right words. He had always been a man of action, but he just needed to see her and maybe-.
He borrowed a pen from the waitress and started to write the lyrics on some paper he found in this backpack. He didn’t have to listen to the song because he memorized the words a long time ago. On those lonely nights without her, her voice filled his head and heart and made sleep come easily. Folding the paper around the picture, he placed it in his jacket pocket and left the waitress a good tip. He walked out of the restaurant with hope and ache as jukebox sang-