Part 31 - Fighting Back

Using her new key, Maria let herself into Michael's dark apartment. He wasn't there, but she was sure he'd show up before too long. After all, where else would he go? He wouldn't go to her house, since he knew she'd gone off with Kyle and Liz after Alex. She ran her hands over her face in exhaustion. They'd managed to get Alex back home and to finally get him to go to bed, but it had been one of the most disturbing experiences in her life. She'd never seen Alex so frantic before. He'd been ranting and raving about how they all needed to stay away from the aliens and how it wasn't safe. At one point, Kyle had actually had to physically restrain Alex in order to get him into the car. Thank goodness that she and Liz had finally managed to calm him down. Seeing her best friend having what appeared to be a total break-down was something that Maria didn't know how to handle at all. In its own way, it was just as terrifying as seeing Liz get shot last year. And the sense of helplessness that came with it was the same.

Maria crossed the room in the dark and sat down in the chair near the window. Rolling up the blinds, she reached into her pocket and took out the necklace Eddie had brought them. She held up the black stone so that it sparkled in the light from the outside streetlights. Isabel had been right - it was almost pretty in the way it caught the light. But Maria couldn't think of it as anything even remotely pleasant. She'd felt Michael's panic at seeing it, and while she didn't know the cause, she knew it had been real.

That was why she'd picked up the necklace when Alex dropped it. Somehow, Maria knew that Michael didn't want anyone else looking at the necklace anymore, but he was too stunned by the accusation in Alex's look to pick it up himself. So, Maria picked it up and hid it away from the others' eyes. She hadn't even considered her motives until now - the instinct to protect Michael was too natural. It didn't require any thought. It just was.

Maria frowned absently as she brought the stone closer to look at it. The faint red inside the stone made it look as if there was a tiny fire glowing inside it. The stone was cool to her touch, though, and smooth. Except for the back. Curious, she turned it over and looked at the back more closely. She could feel something carved into the back of the stone. She reached over and turned on the light so that she could examine it more carefully.

There was a design engraved into the stone, so faint that she could hardly see it. She traced it with her finger - a circle with a thick line going through it. It was almost like the mathematical symbol for an empty set. She smiled. Liz would be proud of her for picking up that much from math class. The smile faded as she traced the line going through the circle. No, not a null symbol. The line ended in a sharp point. It wasn't just a line.

"It's a knife," she whispered. That was it - the design was of a circle with a knife going through the center of it. And the circle wasn't whole. She could feel that there were two small spaces in the circle, one at the top and another at the bottom. So, the design was a broken circle with a knife going through it. She shook her head in confusion. What was that supposed to mean?

She held the necklace away from her again. You couldn't see the design from any type of distance. In fact, if she hadn't felt it, she would never have know it was there. And if the necklace was worn with the design facing in, towards the wearer, then only the wearer would even know it was there. What was the point of a design like that?

She heard the door open and quickly stood up, dropping the necklace on the coffee table as Michael came in. She could sense his exhaustion before he even raised his eyes to meet hers. Seeing him made her heart ache. He looked so tired, so lost. Without even thinking, she was across the room, holding him in her arms as he lowered his head to her shoulder.

"It's going to be okay," she said, rubbing his back. She wasn't sure what she was talking about - Alex, the necklace, the entire situation with Kivar and Nicholas. It didn't matter. She would make sure that things were okay for him. "We'll figure it out."

He held her so tightly that she couldn't breathe for a second, then he released her. Closing his eyes, he leaned toward her until their foreheads met. He tried to absorb her energy into him, to take strength from her love and determination. Finally, he opened his eyes and smiled down at her. "I believe you." And the amazing thing was, he did. He couldn't imagine anything stopping Maria DeLuca from doing whatever she set her mind to.

"Smart boy." She led him over to the couch, making him sit down. "Where were you?"

Michael ignored the question. His attention had been drawn to the necklace on the nearby table. He looked from it up to her, questions evident in his eyes. "I thought you'd be with Alex."

She nodded, picking up the necklace. "I was. We took him home and finally got him settled down to sleep."

"Is he okay?" Michael very carefully kept his eyes on her face, not on the necklace in her hands. He didn't want to see her holding it, but giving in to his impulse of ripping it out of her hands wouldn't exactly decrease suspicions. And it wasn't as if the necklace could actually hurt her or anything.

Maria shook her head and sighed. "Not really. He's pretty freaked out."

"By the whole alien thing?" Michael asked quietly.

"Yeah, which is what I don't get." Maria looked at him in confusion. "I mean, isn't it a little late in the game for him to be freaking about it? It's been over a year since we learned about where you all came from. It never really bothered him. Isabel's an alien. No big deal. Alex could have handled learning pretty much anything about her and he still would have been totally devoted to her. And through the whole thing last week, he was totally solid. So why panic now?"

"I don't know." Michael couldn't resist anymore. He gently took the necklace out of her hands and stood up, walking to a kitchen drawer and placing it way in the back, out of sight. Maria didn't say anything for a minute, just watching him until he walked back.

"You want to talk about it?" she said, gesturing her head to the kitchen.

"Later. Alex first." Michael pulled her closer to him, lying back on the couch with her on top of him. He needed to be close to her, to know that she was there and wasn't going anywhere. "Did he say anything to you three about what was going on?"

"Nothing that made any sense." She stopped and Michael could sense her reluctance to go on any farther.

"What did he say, Maria?" When she didn't answer, he tilted her head back so that she was looking up at him. "Maria, I need to know what's going on."

"Okay. He said something about how you guys were dangerous for us to be around."

Michael nodded slowly, picking up on what she wasn't saying. "He said that I wasn't safe, right?" Maria nodded reluctantly. He sighed and looked away. "Guess he's taking back his blessing for our relationship."

"Wait a minute. You asked Alex for his blessing?"

Michael shrugged uncomfortably. A small smile passed Maria's lips. Michael had asked for Alex's blessing. That was kind of sweet, and it showed that Michael respected Alex. Which led to another thought.

He was avoiding her eyes, so Maria took his head firmly in her hands and forced him to look at her directly. She looked at his eyes and recognized that look. She'd seen that particular expression twice before - once on the night when he came to her after the fiasco with Hank and then again the night that Max hit him. And Maria had to strange the sudden irrational desire she had to go over to Alex's house and shake him for causing Michael this type of pain, even though she knew that it wasn't really his fault.

"Alex doesn't hate you." She could see the startled surprise in his eyes. It was still new, this ability to read each other so well. "You know he doesn't, Michael," she went on gently.

"I know. But for a few minutes he did, Maria." The pain in his voice was heartbreaking. Maria sat up, pulling him into another hug.

"You don't just start hating someone for no reason, Michael," she insisted in a quiet voice. "Something's going on with Alex, but that doesn't mean he hates you. Not really." She kissed his forehead, then stood up, taking his hand and leading him into the bedroom. "I think you need to lie down." He nodded and followed her obediently.

When they got into the other room, Maria pulled off his shirt and tugged off his shoes. He didn't say anything, just lay down when she told him to. Maria sat down on the side of the bed, looking down at him and brushing his hair back in a calming rhythm. He didn't close his eyes, but instead watched her face intently. She wasn't sure he even blinked.

"So, where were you, spaceboy?" she asked, trying to change the subject from Alex for a minute.

"Hmm? Oh, Max and I went over to see Brody." He almost smiled at the surprise on her face upon hearing that. Of all the places where Maria would imagine Michael going willingly, Brody's house was at the very bottom of the list.

"You two went to see Brody? Why would you possibly want to see him?" she asked, eyes narrowing suspiciously.

"Relax, Maria. I didn't do anything. I was on my best behavior." He moved over, pulling her down so that she was lying next to him, face to face. His hand traced its way down her leg as he spoke. "Brody thinks I'm okay, you know. He thinks that I'm a nice guy."

She laughed sarcastically. "And how do you know that Brody thinks you're a nice guy?"

"I can tell when someone's on guard or not. And he's not." He smirked a little. Brody was way too trusting, but he was safe in this particular instance. Michael wasn't going to do anything to hurt a friend of Maria's, even if he did want to. He could draw on Tymrath's life lessons and keep his instincts under control. Shaking his head, he returned to the topic at hand, seeing the concerned frown on Maria's face. "We wanted to ask Brody a few questions about his abduction." He couldn't resist rolling his eyes. How Max managed to work for the guy with his crazy alien theories was beyond Michael's ability to understand.

Maria's eyes grew wide as she suddenly got the connection. "You think that's what's going on with Alex? Like with Brody and Larek?" She was about ready to jump out of the bed, but he caught her hand and pulled her back down.

"No." He could sense her disappointment. As terrible as it would be to think of Alex being possessed by an alien, at least they would know what was going on. It would be better than this uncertainty. "We thought it was a possibility, but I don't think so now. There are too many differences between Brody's situation and what's going on with Alex. For one thing, Alex hasn't been taken away for any length of time. An alien would need some time to form the connection required for possession, and Alex hasn't vanished. The only time it might have happened is when he was in Sweden, but........."

"But what's going on with Alex has only been going on for a week, tops."

"Exactly." Michael nodded. "If something like that was going on, then we would have sensed it during the group connection. And when someone's taken over by an alien, they have black-outs and lose time. Alex hasn't mentioned any of those, has he?"

She shook her head. "No. He blurts things out and does things he regrets later, but he's never said that he doesn't remember doing them."

"Yeah." Michael's fingers twisted in the hem of her dress. "So he's still Alex. Just a very angry, very confused Alex. And I don't have the slightest idea of what to do about it."

Maria closed her eyes as she snuggled closer to him, enjoying the feel of his hand pushing up her dress and moving slowly up her leg. "Maybe Isabel or Max could take a peek into his mind and see what's wrong," she suggested.

Michael gave a bitter laugh. "Do you honestly think that Alex is going to let one of us into his mind right now?"

"No," she admitted sadly. The idea of Alex not trusting Isabel into his mind was something almost impossible to imagine, but there it was.

"And Izzy can't get into his dreams. She's tried." Michael closed his eyes, too. "So, we're back at square one. We don't know what's going on, so I don't know what to fight."

Opening her eyes, Maria leaned over and kissed him gently on the lips. "We'll figure it out," she repeated firmly. The worst thing they could do right now was give up.

He looked at her in some confusion. "Why are you here, Maria? Not that I'm complaining," he hurried on. "Because I'm definitely not. But why aren't you with Alex?"

She gave a small shrug. "Kyle and Liz are staying over at the Whitman place. My mom thinks that I am, too."

"Your mom lets you go on sleepovers at Alex's house?" he asked in curiosity and surprise.

"Oh, yeah. Always has. Although around the time that we were in sixth grade, Liz and I had to start sleeping in another room of the house."

"Interesting." He leaned over and kissed her neck as his hand continued up. "So, your mother thinks that you're over at Alex's house? All night?"

"Yep. But I thought that you might need me more right now. Plus, I wanted to give you back Tymrath's necklace." That stopped him. Michael pulled away and lay on his back, looking up at the ceiling. She leaned over, resting her head on one hand as she stared at him. "So, want to tell me about it?"

"Not really."

"Michael."

"Maria." He looked at her and sighed. "It was something given to me when I was a kid. Before. I told you about Tymrath's parents dying when I was young, right?" She nodded, noticing the way he flipped back and forth between referring to his past life as "Tymrath" and himself. She was never sure how much of who he'd been before had been integrated into his current personality. Not that it mattered - she loved him for who he was now, all of him. He went on. "Well, I went to stay with some......... I guess you'd call them distant relatives. And they gave me the necklace."

"You didn't like them." It wasn't really a question. She remembered the apprehension she'd felt in the vision when he'd thought about going back there.

His eyes were fixed on the ceiling, seeing things she couldn't. "Some of them weren't bad. But I didn't like it there. It wasn't a good place." He rolled over and looked at her earnestly. "Tymrath's life, my life, started when I met Zandar. There wasn't much good about who I was back then," she started to speak at that, but he put his hand over her mouth, "but what there was, came from Zandar and Vilandra. It'd really rather forget about everything before then. Please, Maria. I just don't think I can talk about this more tonight. Not on top of everything else."

She took his hand in her own. "Michael, do you really think you can just forget about it?"

"It's not important. Let's just concentrate on the problems we have now, okay? Please."

Wow. Two "pleases" from Michael Guerin in that many minutes. And she could feel how close he was to breaking down. There was only so much that he could handle at once. So Maria nodded. "Okay. But you're going to have to tell me, spaceboy. And soon."

Michael pulled her closer, just needing to hold her and know that she was real, not a dream or a fantasy, but that she was really there. "I love you, teel-sharan."

"I love you, too," she whispered gently, trying to get a small amount of peace and rest in an insane world.

Together they could face anything.

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The next morning, Valenti was drawn to his kitchen by the smell of something good cooking. When he entered, he was greeted by the sight of Tess standing over the stove, flipping pancakes. She smiled when she saw him.

"Good morning."

"Morning, Tess." He rubbed his face wearily. It had been a long night for him. He'd been going through all the records he had on Hanson, trying to figure out what was going on with him. He couldn't believe that yet another one of his deputies was proving a threat to the kids. He was about ready to just fire the whole department. He was pretty sure that he could take care of Roswell on his own. Walking over to Tess, he reached out for a plate of pancakes. A suddenly lowered spatula stopped him.

"Trust me, you don't want to eat those. Those pancakes are mine. Why don't you just sit down and I'll bring you some that are suitable for human consumption?" She looked at him carefully. "You look exhausted still. Sit down."

"Okay." He sat down and looked at her curiously. "Did you actually put tabasco in the pancake mix?"

"Of course. Doesn't everybody?" Tess smiled as she brought him a cup of coffee and a plate of pancakes.

"Sure." He laughed. "Thanks." The plate of nice hot pancakes looked good. He poured some syrup on them and dug in. There were definite advantages to letting Tess stay with them. Kyle had never woken up early and made his father breakfast.

"So, did you find anything yet?" Tess asked as she sat down across the table from him, pouring yet more tabasco on the pancakes. He blinked a few times, trying to imagine what those pancakes could possibly taste like, then decided not to think about it. He didn't want to ruin his appetite.

"Not yet. His record is totally normal. Until lately, the only problem I've ever had with Hanson was that he was a bit over-zealous."

"And not terribly bright," she added.

"Well, there is that, too." He swallowed another bite. "These are really good, Tess."

Her face lit up at the praise. "Thanks." Her smile faded and she got a harder look on her face. "Over-zealous? Is that what you call desperately trying to get Michael arrested?"

Valenti shrugged. "He thought Michael was guilty. I didn't think it was anything personal at the time."

"And now?"

"Now, I don't know." That was all he could say. Who knew what was going on with Hanson, or how long it had been going on?

"Hey." Kyle was standing in the doorway, looking tired, too. "Are there any more pancakes?"

"No." Tess got up and stood between him and the remaining pancakes on the kitchen counter.

Kyle looked confused by the hostility in her voice. "Okay, I just got home, so I know that I haven't had time to do anything wrong yet. So what are you mad about?"

"How's Alex?" she asked, tapping her foot and glaring at him. Valenti just leaned back in his chair. No way was he getting into the middle of this.

"He's okay. Better this morning," Kyle answered slowly, looking at his father for support, but only getting a shrug in response. Kyle was on his own.

"Good for him. You know, other people were worried about him, too. It might have been nice if someone had, oh, I don't know, called to let us know how things were last night. Or are only humans allowed to worry about their friends?"

Picking up his coffee, Valenti left the two of them, patting his son on the shoulder as he left. "Good luck, son." As he left the room, he could hear Kyle apologizing to Tess. Kyle hadn't even considered how she would feel at being left out like that the night before.

Somehow, listening to Tess making her opinions known very loudly, he didn't think Kyle would make the same oversight again.

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Michael walked into the apartment, tossing his keys down on the counter as he went to the refrigerator. He was starving. He'd been talking with the Valentis about the whole Hanson situation. His eyes went over to the pile of books he'd checked out of the library earlier in the week. He should have some time to study them later. He had to continue his preparations, his training.

Nothing in the fridge looked appetizing to him. Was he hungry or wasn't he? Then he realized something. He picked up the phone and dialed.

"Crashdown Cafe, how can I help you?" came the cheerful voice. Michael smiled. Just hearing her voice made him feel better.

"You're hungry. Eat something."

"Michael?" Maria moved away from the counter, taking the phone with her. "You called me at work just to tell me to eat something?"

"You're hungry, aren't you? You need to eat."

She shook her head in bemusement. "You're all the way across town in your apartment and you can tell that I'm hungry?"

"Yeah." What was her point?

"That doesn't seem at all strange to you, spaceboy?"

"Strange compared to what?"

She started to laugh. He had a point. Everything in their lives was strange, after all. "Good point. But I don't need you telling me when to eat, Michael. I already have a mother. Remember her? The woman you live in deadly fear of?" she teased.

"I prefer to think of it as respectful caution."

"Yeah, right, wussy boy. You and I both know you're terrified of her."

He could hear the laughter in her voice, but it wasn't going to distract him. "Back to the point, Maria. You need to keep up your strength. I don't want you passing out from hunger later or something."

"And exactly what am I going to need my strength for?" she asked coyly, then laughed again. "Never mind. Don't answer that. I was just about to take a break and eat some lunch."

"Good." He sat down and tried to pick up on her emotions. They were very faint at this distance. "How are you doing?"

When she answered, her voice was very quiet and serious. "I'm okay. I'm just waiting for Liz to call and report about Alex."

"Yeah." He just sat there for a minute, listening to her breathing on the other end of the line. It was almost as good as having her there with him.

"Michael? I gotta go and eat something," she said teasingly. "I'll come by later."

"Okay." He wasn't in any rush to hang up the phone, though.

"Okay. I love you." She hung up the phone quickly. The temptation to stay on the phone with him was too great, and she was already getting looks from the other staff.

Michael walked back into the kitchen and hung up the phone. He stood there for a minute, drumming his hands nervously on the counter, then sighed. He couldn't ignore it forever. Slowly, he opened the drawer and reached in, pulling out Tymrath's necklace.

He held it up in front of him. He knew he should destroy it, that he should have destroyed it long ago back on Antar. But he'd never been quite able to. He didn't fully understand why, and what little he did understand made him nervous, but there it was. "T'on'xyl," he whispered to himself. Heart of stone.

He remembered being awarded the necklace. He could picture the moment clearly in his memory - reaching out his hand, covered in blood, being given the stone on its golden chain. Then proudly slipping the chain over his head. He'd had no idea of what he was getting himself into. Not really.

Shaking himself, he dropped the necklace back down into the drawer and closed it away from view. Someday he'd get the strength to destroy it. Until then, there was nothing to be gained from dwelling on the past. It was like he'd told Maria - his life as Tymrath hadn't really started until he'd met Zandar. The sooner he could forget the rest, the better off he'd be.

The sudden ring of the phone startled him. He picked it up. "Yeah?"

"Michael, it's Liz. We have a problem." She sounded panicky, so he resisted the urge to ask her which particular problem it was that she was referring to.

"What?"

"Alex is missing." Yep, definitely panicked. "He went in to the bathroom, and then he snuck out through the window. I don't know where he went."

Michael rolled his eyes and sighed. Perfect. What next? "Okay, Liz. I'm on my way over. Try to calm down. We'll find him." He picked up his keys and started to open the front door.

And to his surprise, there was Alex, hand raised to knock. "Never mind. He's here." Without waiting for a response, he pressed the off button on the phone. His attention was focused on the human boy in front of him, waiting to see what he was going to do.

Alex leaned back casually on the doorframe, eyes going to the phone in Michael's hand. "Liz?" he asked with a small smile.

Michael nodded. "You worried her when you pulled your Houdini routine." Alex just gave a brief laugh. Michael's eyes narrowed. "Doesn't that bother you?"

"Not especially." Alex tilted his head to the side and looked at Michael closely. "You're nervous," he said, still with that smile. "Now there's a change. You nervous about me."

Michael didn't know what to say to that. It was the simple truth. He had no idea of what was going on inside Alex's head or what he might do. The only thing he did know for sure was that he wasn't acting much like the Alex they all knew. That made him unpredictable. And he didn't like that smile on Alex's face - there was a tinge of malice in it that didn't fit with Alex.

Apparently giving up on waiting for Michael's response, Alex nodded suddenly. "So," he said briskly. "I have this problem. You want to know what it is?" He looked at Michael with wide eyes.

He nodded. "Sure," he answered carefully, paying attention to Alex's expression and the tone of his voice.

"Here's my problem." Alex's eyes grew hard as he kept on staring at Michael. "I can't think of a single reason why I should trust you or listen to you. My mind keeps yelling at me that you're a dangerous lying monster. That you'll end up betraying us. You'll get us all killed, just like you did the last time." Michael tried to keep his body still, to keep himself from flinching. He had a feeling that was exactly the type of response that Alex was looking for. Alex was saying these things to hurt. "Just some good-for-nothing murdering freak," he went on, the tension in his face a stark contrast to the casual way he was standing there. "We should all stay away from you."

Michael's hands were clenched so tightly that he was starting to lose feeling in his fingers. He forced himself to stand still and listen to what Alex was saying, though. And to the way he was saying it, so matter-of-fact and sure of himself. He sounded as if he believed every word.

Then Alex's expression changed. He shook his head and the hardness left his eyes, leaving that confused look Michael had seen the night before. "But then I remember the connection. And I remember the way you felt about Max and Isabel and Maria. Even Liz and me. And I just can't believe that you would do anything to hurt us." He looked away for a second, frowning in thought, then looked back at Michael. "Would you?"

Michael just shook his head. He couldn't speak.

"So, my problem is that I don't know what to believe anymore. Do I listen to my head? The part that's warning me away? Or do I trust what I felt in the connection?" A visible shudder went through Alex, and for a second his face had a look of actual physical pain cross it. "I think about what I've seen, what I know, what I've guessed. And I have one question." Alex's gaze fixed unwaveringly on Michael, as if he could force the truth out of him that way. "From the moment you went to live in the palace, until the end, did you do anything, anything, to hurt Zandar or Vilandra?"

"Never." Michael's response was immediate.

Alex looked at him for a long minute, apparently trying to decide whether or not to believe him. Michael found himself holding his breath, waiting. He had a feeling this was the moment when they were going to either lose Alex or not. He had to decide for himself whether or not to believe Michael, to believe in the connection the group had formed out in the desert. It was a choice Alex had to make for himself, and it obviously wasn't an easy one for him to make.

"I need to believe." Alex's voice began quietly, but grew in volume and certainty as he went on. "And I've decided that I have to trust myself. The connection - you couldn't have faked that. So I'm taking a leap of faith here." He smiled a little. "And now that you've heard all that, will you let me come in?"

Michael moved aside and let the other boy inside. Alex went over to the couch and sat down, resting his head in his hands. Michael closed the door behind him and walked over, standing against the wall. He wasn't getting too close to Alex yet. He didn't want to take the chance of setting the human boy off again. "Alex, what's going on?"

Alex gave a slightly hysterical laugh. "What's going on? I'll tell you, Michael, old buddy, old pal. I think I'm losing my mind."

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Maria was innocently devouring a plate of fries when Liz came rushing in to the back room. "What's up, girl?" she asked as Liz dragged her away from her food and upstairs to her room. "Hey, I was eating those!"

"You can eat later," Liz insisted, closing the door to her room behind them.

"Okay, spill." If Liz wasn't going to let her eat, then she was at least going to have to explain what had her so upset. And if Michael called back to yell at her for not eating, then Liz was going to have to explain it to him. Then a thought occurred to her. "Where's Alex?"

Liz took a deep breath. "Alex snuck out through the bathroom window."

Maria's mouth dropped open. "He did what? Okay, that is so not Alex. What is up with him?" She shook herself impatiently. Of course, that was the whole problem, wasn't it? They didn't know what was wrong with him. "Well, let's go find him."

"Already found." Liz gave a bright fake smile. "Turns out that Alex decided to sneak out the window so that he could go over and see Michael. Because you know, it would have been way too hard to just tell me he wanted to go over there." Liz was really angry. "You know, whatever is going on with him better be something serious, because otherwise I'm going to kick his ass."

"Liz!" Maria was shocked. "Such language."

"Sorry." Liz dropped down on her bed. "It's just all the stress."

"I know." She sat down next to her friend.

"I didn't really mean it," Liz muttered. "I know that it's not his fault. I'm just scared, you know?"

Maria nodded silently. She thought for a second, then answered quietly. "I'm scared for Alex. And I'm furious at what this is doing to Michael."

Liz looked over. "What do you mean?"

Maria got up and started to pace. "I mean, Michael's had enough rejection from the people he's loved. He didn't need to have Alex look at him like he was some sort of freak." Before Liz could say anything, she waved her hands in he air. "And it's not his fault. Alex isn't the one I'm mad at. But I want to get my hands on whoever is responsible, whoever's doing this. And then.........." Maria let her voice trail off. She wasn't sure where the images of what she wanted to do to whoever it was were coming from, but they were pretty graphic and she didn't want to disturb Liz with them. At any rate, she knew her friend got the point.

Seeing the worried look on Liz's face, she sat back down next to her and gave her a little hug. "It'll be okay, Liz. Michael will take care of Alex."

Liz gave a genuine laugh. "Okay, you do get how totally strange that sounds, right?"

Maria joined in the laugh. "Yeah, I know. But Michael's changed."

"Yeah, I've noticed that." Liz gave her a curious look. "So has Max."

"Figures, don't you think? They've got two lives running around in their heads now."

Liz grabbed a pillow and clutched it tightly. "How do you handle it? The whole thing about him being Tymrath and Michael both?"

Maria thought about it for a minute. "I'm not sure," she answered slowly. "He's just Michael. He's the guy I love. The rest is a part of him. It's not like he has a split personality or something. He's still the same guy he always was. He's just kind of more now." It was hard to put it into words. "It's a little bizarre, but every relationship has its quirks."

Liz laughed again. "True," she said with a raised eyebrow. "But I think we have a bit more than normal, don't you?" A slow smile spread across her face. "Of course, there are definite plusses to the relationship, too."

"Definitely." Maria smiled back. Then she took a deep breath. "Michael wants me to move in with him."

" What?" Maria winced at the scream. Liz looked apologetic. "Sorry. But he wants you to move in? Michael? Mr. I-Don't-Get-Intense wants you to move in?"

"Yeah. That was about my response, too."

"Well, what did you say?"

Maria rolled her eyes. "What could I say? That we're still in school. That it was too soon for that. Way too soon. Besides, can you imagine my mother's response?"

"Wow." Liz looked rather stunned. "I mean, I knew that you two weren't just a casual thing, obviously, but still. Moving in?" She tilted her head to the side, looking at her friend carefully. "Do you think he's going to want to get married or something?"

Maria tried to look casual. "I don't actually expect a marriage proposal or anything, since in Michael's mind, we're already married."

For the second time, Maria winced as Liz's voice grew in volume. "You're what?"

She smiled and shrugged. "Turns out that's what the tiasa is all about. An Antaran marriage ceremony." She went on a little defensively. "I don't know why you're so shocked. You knew it was a forever type of deal."

"Well, yeah, but married? It's just a bit of a surprise." Liz thought back to last year, when she and Max had come so close to completing their bonding. She wasn't sure if she was glad or upset that they'd been interrupted. "You're still so young."

"He's not." Maria's answer came instantly. "Not really. He's older now. So are Max and Isabel. Haven't you noticed the difference?" Liz nodded. That's what was different about Max now. There was a knowledge and a maturity in his eyes that he hadn't had before. "And I'm different now, too, Liz. I'm not sure how exactly, but I am." She looked down at the bed, twirling circles absently on the covers. "I'm picking up things from Michael, all the time. His feelings. Sometimes his memories."

"And you think this is changing you?"

"A little." Maria looked into the distance, concentrating. "I'm not complaining, mind you. But at times......." her voice trailed off.

"At times what?" Liz prompted her gently.

"At times I think it would be too easy to lose myself in him. To stop being Maria and just be his." She smiled weakly. "The connection's overwhelming at times."

"Does it go both ways?"

Maria nodded. "Yeah. Michael picks up things from me, too. He called me earlier to tell me to eat because he could feel that I was hungry." She faked a glare and shook her finger at Liz. "By the way, if he lectures me about not taking care of myself and finishing my lunch, I'm blaming you for it." Liz's smile was short-lived, though.

"Does it scare you?"

"A little. It scares me more that it doesn't scare me too much." Maria shook her head, trying to come up with words to explain what she was feeling. "It just occurs to me that I have absolutely no plans for my life, Liz. None. My great ambition was to be your wacky side-kick. Remember?" She looked at Liz and they smiled, remembering the night that Maria had learned about the aliens and had run for her life. "And then everything centered on the aliens. On Michael. I just need to find something for myself, something I can hang on to so that I don't lose myself in him totally."

Liz nodded in understanding. "There's your music."

"Yeah. But I don't know what I want to do with it." Maria shrugged. "I'll figure it out."

"Maria, do you regret bonding with Michael?" Liz asked softly.

Maria looked at her as if she was crazy. "Regret it? No way. It's the most incredible thing that's ever happened to me. I feel more complete now than I ever did. I just have to be careful to keep some balance and to keep a part of myself separate from him. Which isn't just an alien problem, you know. You can lose yourself in a man even without him being an alien."

Liz looked at her friend with admiration. "You're right. You have changed. You've grown up a lot in the last two years."

"Yeah, well, Lizzy, haven't we all? And really, who wants to go back to who we were before?"

Liz thought of Max and got that little warm feeling that thinking of him always brought her. "Not me. Complications and all, there's no way I'd go back."

"Me either." Maria stood up and headed for the door. "Come on. I'm still hungry. Let's get some dessert."

Liz got up and followed her. Enough serious talk for now. Time enough for that later when they saw Alex again.

-----------------------------------------------

Alex frowned at the pile of books on the couch next to him. Anatomy books? What is Michael doing with anatomy books? Michael placed a glass of orange soda on the table in front of Alex, then retreated to sit down on the chair by the window.

"Thanks," Alex muttered, then looked more closely at the alien. He gave a tired laugh. "You don't have to look so nervous, Michael. I don't think I'm dangerous. And even if I do snap totally, you could rip out my heart with one hand, couldn't you?" He paused as he took a sip of the soda. "Could you do that?"

"Never tried it," Michael said, trying to keep his tone light. He could tell that Alex's nerves were snapped as tight as they possibly could be, but at least he was talking now. That was progress, right? "What did you mean, you're losing your mind?"

Alex put down the glass carefully. "I meant it in the literal, clinical, going insane way. I think there's a very strong possibility that I'm going crazy. Totally stark raving mad." He looked over at Michael. "While I'm thinking about it, I'm sorry about what I said earlier. Even if you are a killer, that doesn't mean I should have been going on like that."

"Why do you keep saying that? That I'm a killer?" He was starting to have a harder time staying calm, but was determined not to lose his own temper. Alex's mood was too delicate right now. Michael worried that if he said the wrong thing, Alex might totally freak out again.

"Am I wrong?" Before Michael could answer, Alex went on quickly. "Never mind. I know that you're not. That's one of the things I'm talking about. These thoughts and words keep popping into my mind. Only, they're not my thoughts. It's like a little voice is whispering things to me inside my mind. Hearing voices - not a good sign. Hence, the conclusion of insanity."

"Thoughts like what?"

Alex grimaced. "I've been having these nightmares. They're...... well, disturbing is too mild a word for them. But at first I just figured they were dreams. And dreams can't hurt you, right?" He looked over at Michael as if for reassurance.

"Depends on the dream," he answered quietly.

Alex looked surprised at that. "Well, then I would start to have thoughts when I was awake. Angry thoughts. And I would say things I didn't really mean. Only I did mean them when I said them. But these are things that I would never think before. Never. They just pop out." Alex winced. "I'm sorry about pushing you last night, by the way. Thanks for not making my head explode or something." He tried to smile at Michael. "Just kidding." Then his expression changed again, eyes sharpening. "Can I see the necklace again?"

Michael tensed up. "I'm not sure that's a good idea."

Alex's voice took on a note of authority. "I need to see it."

After a pause, Michael went and got it. He handed it to Alex, who stared at it in fascination. "I was hoping I was wrong," he whispered. "But I'm not. It's the same." He looked at Michael with disgust. "I had a dream about you. You and Max were on a battlefield. The battle was over and the wounded were being brought in off the field to be treated."

Michael started to get a panicky feeling. He was afraid he knew where this was leading. Please, no, he prayed silently.

"There was an injured soldier lying on the ground near you. He was wearing this necklace." Alex waved it in Michael's face. "Max turned away. You were alone with the injured man. And you killed him!" He stood up, practically screaming in Michael's face. "He was lying there defenseless, and you reached down and put your hand over his chest. He jerked once, and then he was dead. Just like Nasedo killed his victims." Alex sat down, looking at him with revulsion. "You killed a wounded man. And then what? You kept the necklace? What type of sick freak keeps trophies of the people he kills?"

"I didn't keep trophies," Michael whispered.

"What?"

"I didn't keep trophies," he said louder. He forced himself to look at Alex's blazing eyes. If Alex was going to hate him, then let it be for the truth. About this, at least. "I destroyed that necklace. That one," he gestured to the stone in Alex's hand, "was mine. It was mine long before that happened."

Alex sat back against the cushions, appearing exhausted. "So, it was real. My dream? It really happened?"

Michael just nodded.

Alex closed his eyes. "I was hoping I was wrong. So, you really did kill an injured man? A helpless prisoner?" He opened his eyes at the sound of Michael's derisive laughter.

Michael got a hold of himself. "Helpless? Believe me, he wasn't helpless." He looked at Alex in consideration. "You must have been watching from a distance." Alex nodded. "I figured. He wasn't really injured. He was pretending. He was there to kill Zandar."

"How did you know?" Alex didn't even think about how strange it was that he had been able to see events from another time and another planet in his dreams. He was more interested in learning the truth.

"For one thing, I recognized him." Michael took a deep breath. "He was an assassin sent to kill Zandar. You must not have seen the knife he had, either?" Michael went on before Alex could answer. "No, I guess not. So, I killed him in order to stop him from killing my king." He gave Alex a level stare. "I'm not going to apologize for that. It was my job. I kept Zandar from going out into the field after that. It wasn't safe."

"Kivar sent him?" Alex's voice was much quieter than before.

"Yeah." Michael remembered what he'd felt in those few seconds after he recognized the assassin. He hadn't had much time to act in order to save Zandar's life. And then he'd taken the necklace before anyone else saw it. Michael's face settled into harsh lines at the memory. He'd understood Kivar's message right away. Shaking away the memories, he looked at his friend. "As close as I can figure, Kivar went after Vilandra right after that. He'd given up on other means of getting to Zandar."

"Because he knew that you were there to protect him. That you were loyal to Zandar." Alex's voice was gentle now, understanding. Michael wondered exactly how much he did understand. "I'm sorry for screaming at you. It's just the dreams. I've seen you killing in them, over and over. And they're very vivid."

Michael winced. "You should never have had to see any of that."

"Until I saw the necklace last night, I thought they were just dreams. That the strange thoughts out of nowhere and the images meant that I was going crazy. When I saw the necklace, I thought that maybe they were true somehow."

"And that's why you freaked out." Michael could understand it. It was one thing to know in a detached way what had happened with them back on Antar, and another to actually experience it. "Alex, why don't you tell me about the dreams?"

Alex nodded slowly. "Okay. At first, they weren't too bad. I'd be with Isabel, and then she'd disappear. I could hear her laughing somewhere in the distance, laughing at me, but I couldn't find her. Then I'd find her, but she was tied up to a pillar in front of a throne. Max was sitting there watching, and you would come out and kill her. Like you killed Pierce, only," his voice lowered to a whisper, "I could see your eyes. I didn't like what I saw there."

Michael looked away quickly. He could imagine what Alex had seen. No wonder he'd looked at him with suspicion and distrust.

Alex went on. "I guess my mind must have been showing me you guys as you are now because it's the way I think of you. You looked just the same as you do now. Course, I have no idea what Antarans look like in your natural state." He tried a weak smile. It faded quickly. "Anyway, I just figured the dreams were my mind's way of dealing with the whole story of how your guys died the last time around.

"But then they got even worse." There was a note in Alex's voice that caught Michael's attention and made his head spin around. He didn't like it. Alex sounded brittle. He was wound too tight, and was too close to shattering right then.

"It's okay, Alex. You don't have to tell me anymore."

Alex shook his head insistently. "Yes, I do. After that, I had two types of nightmares. One of them was of you. I saw you kill so many times. And the look on your face when you did it....." his voice trailed off, remembering the nightmares with horror. Realizing that he was still holding the necklace, Alex grimaced and threw it away in disgust. Michael let it go. "The other ones were even worse. They were of Isabel and me. They always started pleasantly. We'd be doing something nice. And things would progress...." he cleared his throat, embarrassed. "That's not important. But then things would change. I would change. And I'd find myself doing things I would never do." He looked at Michael, eyes pleading for him to believe him. "I would never do anything to hurt Isabel. Never."

"I know, Alex," Michael tried to console the other boy. "Max and I would never let you anywhere near her if we thought you would."

"Considering the fact that the two of you murdered her the last time around, I'm not sure how much that counts." Alex winced as soon as the words were out of his throat. "See? That's what I mean. I have no idea where these things come from. They're not my thoughts. At least, I didn't think they were. Maybe I just didn't know myself as well as I thought I did." He lowered his head again, so confused.

Michael looked at his friend, wishing that Maria was there. She would know what to say to make Alex feel better. "They're not your thoughts, Alex. Trust me." Alex looked up at him doubtfully. "You talked about the connection. Well, I could see you in it, too. And your spirit - it doesn't have any cruelty in it. So these thoughts, these images, they're not coming from you."

Alex's eyes lit with hope momentarily, but then the light went out of his eyes again. "They're in me, Michael. Where else could they be coming from?"

Michael was starting to get a pretty good idea. "When did the nightmares start?"

Alex frowned in thought. "About a week ago. The night before we went to Dagmar's house, Isabel had a bad dream and dreamwalked me. They started after that."

Michael turned suddenly and hit the wall behind him, his anger needing an outlet. Alex jumped a little, watching him warily. "Damn." Michael turned back to him, practically spitting the words. "It's Kivar." He'd been determined to keep Alex safe from Kivar, and the bastard had been walking around in his dreams for a week.

"Kivar? He's been giving me these dreams?" Alex was confused. "Why?"

"He's trying to get a foothold in your mind." Michael was trying very hard to keep his temper under control. Blowing things up wouldn't help Alex keep calm. "So that he can control you. So that he can possess you and use your body." Michael felt like he was going to be sick. The idea of Kivar running around inside Alex's body was enough to make him ill.

"Possess me? Like Larek does with Brody?" Alex was stunned. Slowly, though, anger was starting to push through the shock. "He could do that?"

"It's what he does. He gets a way in and he exploits it." Mind control had always sickened him. Even back on Antar, he'd preferred the more direct methods of fighting. A person's mind should be his own. "There are different ways to get in. Usually, he'd have to grab a person physically and establish the link. The stronger the person's mind, the harder it is to get in." He looked at Alex. "In your case, he got in through the back door. Through Isabel."

"What do you mean?" Alex was finding it easier to keep his thoughts straight now that he had a possible explanation to focus on. There was nothing more terrifying than not being able to control your own mind.

"Kivar's been in Isabel's dreams, too. She pushed him out finally. He must have used whatever leftover bond they had from Vilandra's life to get in. And then he followed her connection to you to get into your mind, too."

"And then what?" Michael didn't answer. "He would have used my body to hurt you guys, right? Right?" Michael reluctantly nodded. "Just great. Isabel managed to push him out, so he moved on to the weakest of the group. Me."

Michael looked at him in confusion. "The weakest? What are you talking about? Don't you get it?" Michael crouched down on the floor in front of the couch. "Kivar's been trying to take you over for a week now. A week. You've kept him out."

"No....."

"Listen to me." Michael sounded impressed, even awed. "You have kept Kivar from taking you over for an entire week. Sure, you've had bad dreams and stray thoughts from him. But at no time have you been consumed by him. At no time have you lost yourself. Even last night, when you were so angry with me, you shook yourself out of it. You were still you." An admiring smile spread across his face. "That must have pissed Kivar off like you wouldn't believe. That you could keep him from what he wanted. That you could fight back."

"That's not normal?" Alex asked hesitantly.

Michael laughed. "Normal? I've never heard of it happening, Alex. Once Kivar's found a way in to your mind, there's no way of stopping him. Vilandra couldn't do it. But somehow, without knowing what was going on and without any type of training, you did. You should have been his puppet for the last week now, but you haven't." The smile faded. "That's what's been driving you crazy, you know. Your mind's been fighting back without even knowing what it was fighting. It's amazing that your mind hasn't shattered completely." He shook his head in admiration. "You're not the weakest of us. Nowhere near."

Alex looked at him closely. "You seem to know a lot about this."

Michael's eyes had that remembering look again. "Kivar is the enemy. If you don't learn about your enemy, you don't last very long in the fight." His eyes came back to focus on the now. "I'm sorry, Alex. We should never have let this happen to you."

Alex shook his head. "Not any of your faults. It's his." Alex's voice hardened. "Michael, do me a favor?"

"Sure."

"When you do catch up with Kivar, I want to be there." Michael looked at him in surprise, but then nodded. He would rather have spared Alex this, but apparently it was out of his hands. Alex had earned that right.

"I can't believe that he wanted to take over my body like that. That's disgusting." Alex stood up and walked around the apartment. He had a sudden thought. "I'm really glad that I'm not actually crazy yet, but what can I do to stop it from eventually happening? Other than letting him take me over, because that's not going to happen. I'm not letting him use me to hurt Izzy."

Michael leaned back, considering plans and options. "You're the one who's been keeping Isabel out of your dreams, aren't you?"

"Yeah." Alex looked a little embarrassed. "I couldn't take the chance of her walking in on one of those dreams. They were horrible." He shivered at the thought. His dreams had become a battlefield, and often a bloody one. He'd had to keep Isabel out of them.

"How?"

"How what?"

"How did you keep her out of your dreams?"

"Let me guess. That's another thing I shouldn't have been able to do, right?"

Michael just nodded absently.

"I don't know exactly. I could sense her in my dreams, so I just kind of built a wall in my mind to push her out and then not let her in again."

"A wall in your mind.........." Michael jumped up quickly. "That's it. You were able to identify that Isabel was a strange presence in your mind, that she didn't belong there. I have no idea how you managed to do it, but you did." He looked off into space, thinking. "And your mind somehow knew that Kivar was there. Now that you know it consciously, you can do the same thing to him that you did to Isabel." Michael gestured with his hands as if he was shoving someone away. "You just push him out, too."

"I don't know, Michael," he replied dubiously. "If he's as strong as you say he is....."

"But you're already doing it," Michael said eagerly. This was going to work. "You just need to finish what you've already started.

"Do you really think this will work?" Alex wanted to believe that he could have his mind to himself again, all to himself again, but he didn't know. It sounded too simple. He said as much to Michael, who gave him a wry look.

"It is simple. Kivar's in your mind. You can push him out. Nothing complicated there. But don't confuse simple with easy." Michael's voice took on a world-weariness Alex hadn't heard before. "You know what the problem is, and how to stop it. You know what you have to do. But it's not easy. There's a lot of work involved. And I'm not a mind warrior. I have no idea of how hard it will be for you to build this wall. What I do know is that you can do it." He gave Alex a level look. "For a week now, you've been fighting back our planet's strongest telepath, without even knowing you were doing it. Now that you do know, I'm certain that you can push him out totally. I don't have any doubts at all, Alex. You can beat him."

Alex found himself starting to smile a little. Michael's certainty was contagious. "I can see why people would follow you into battle. Who would have thought that you could give such a good pep talk?" He had to laugh. "You definitely sound as if you know what you're talking about."

Michael laughed with him. "Tell that to Maria some time. Maybe then she'll start listening to me more often."

Alex snorted. "Yeah, right. You know, I think this is the most I've ever heard you talk at one time."

Michael smirked. "It's Maria's influence."

The laughter died out, and Alex looked at his friend with a frightened look. "I don't want to go back in there. Into my dreams."

"I know." Michael's voice had a gentleness that Alex would never have expected. "Believe me, I know. Sometimes the hardest battles are the ones you have to fight in your own mind. I wish that I could do this for you, but I can't. This is your battle to fight. But you can do it."

Alex's look settled into one of determination. Kivar had tried to use him to destroy his friends, to hurt Isabel. No way was Alex going to let that happen. For her, for his family, he'd fight back. "Fine." He lay down on the couch and closed his eyes. "Watch out, Kivar. Here I come."

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